OT: Robin Williams dead

[MaseInYourFace]

I know from experience that you can be very depressed and people don't notice. Someone would have to spend a lot of time with you to notice. Especially if your a calm person to begin with, people won't notice subtle behavioral changes. I can speak from experience that prob the most depressed I've been was about 3 or 4 years after I had graduated college so this was around 07 or 08. I got into a deep deep rut after I had broken up with a girlfriend and I was also pretty unhappy career wise at that time. Looking back on it it's crazy that no one noticed, not even my parents. I lost weight, and I let my hair grow like crazy. I guess to some people I looked like I was healthy. I was a wreck inside. I remember regularly going into the bathroom at work to cry. I would just clean myself off and no one would notice. Thankfully with time most of the wounds healed and I was able to get out of the hole. I'm thankful I never got suicidal at least.

Did you think about it though? Not that you were ever close to planning anything, but just in your mind consider it and how you might do it?

No, I never got to that point. Looking back that would have been the next step more than likely.

[mugzi]

I know man, everything can be depressing for me personally I hate that money is so important in this world and mostly everyone on this planet will do anything for money, I hate that so much and for that I'm a rebel to my family and society.

I agree. But in my case family has been my salvation. It must be really hard for you.

It is especially my mom, to the point where we live in the same house (this is normal for Asian ppl) but I dont say Hi nor thank to her and we haven't talk for almost a month already.

You may have been right you may have been wrong, regardless, you should never take life for granted, bury the hatchet hug your mom and move on, because life is and always be fragile.

[MrProb]

I agree. But in my case family has been my salvation. It must be really hard for you.

It is especially my mom, to the point where we live in the same house (this is normal for Asian ppl) but I dont say Hi nor thank to her and we haven't talk for almost a month already.

You may have been right you may have been wrong, regardless, you should never take life for granted, bury the hatchet hug your mom and move on, because life is and always be fragile.

Not gonna lie its tough to do that in my situation.

I'm one of the nicest guy out there, I always remind myself to look at both sides of the coin, I'm forgiving, I care about people no matter you're black, white, yellow, poor or rich, ugly or handsome or w/e I could be easily ticked off sometimes but all you need to do to calm me down is saying sorry.

Now when I hate or dislike someone, he/she has to do things I extremely don't like/hate or think is wrong for a long long time.

I love my mom, I care for her I just can't show any emotion towards her because it came to the point where its a love/hate relastionship, my dad was dying and she wouldn't let me know because she doesn't want me to go to Thailand just for that and basically when I get to know (my brother told me) it's already about 3 months and there's much more things I don't like about her but hey, thanks for your advice though I'm still trying to blame myself from time to time for being selfish and such just so I dont hate her too much.

[mugzi]

That's tough man. I can understand why you'd be angry at her, a mom always wants to protect her kids and it sounds like in her mind she was doing what she thought was right. But she shouldnt have done what she did, the flipside is you dont know how long she'll be around so every moment you spend being that way towards her you'll regret down the road, I know this from experience, hope things change for you with that relationship.

[MrProb]

That's tough man. I can understand why you'd be angry at her, a mom always wants to protect her kids and it sounds like in her mind she was doing what she thought was right. But she shouldnt have done what she did, the flipside is you dont know how long she'll be around so every moment you spend being that way towards her you'll regret down the road, I know this from experience, hope things change for you with that relationship.

Its much more than that man there are so many things about my mom, also my dad and mom were basically seperated long time ago(so I'm sure she wasnt trying to be protective or if she was maybe 10% of it being protective), she came to US when I was young and remarried an american guy here w/o even telling me back then and let me find out 12-13 years later when i first came to US.Imagine an Asian kid, first came to US w/o knowing what his life is going to be, running into a stranger white guy that your mom tell you right then and there he's your step dad, I was "shocked" and finally realized my dad and mom were actually seperated.Basically, double shock to me both finding out and another being culture shock.

Anyway, this is not a thread for that but I understand and appreciated your words.