ot: 4 year relationship just ended but.....

Kn1cksNation · Post #1 » by **Kn1cksNation** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 8:30 pm

I am going to keep this short and relevant, my gf and i of 4 years just broke up 3 weeks ago. we had been having problems because i had been distant due to studying medicine and my parents were getting close to getting a divorce and she was my only support. She felt neglected and alone. In january we took a break of 4 days and i didn't talk to her at all because i was sick with a bad flu and she said "was it that easy for you to drop me?" we fixed it and moved on but she still held some resentment. come feb 7th we break up she doesnt feel things will change. we did it over the phone and she didnt even want to meet in person. eventually we met in person and she told me she missed me and loved me but still wanted to be broken up. just last week she texts me saying she feels really alone, we end up talking on the phone for 2 hrs and she tells me she loves me and we play tetris online together but still not back together. this past tuesday i sent her a "goodnight <3" and she freaked saying dont send me <3's we are broken up and not getting back together.....so anyone have advice for me?

Trav_NYK · Post #2 » by **Trav_NYK** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 8:35 pm

just move on man... no reason to try patch things up, seems like she knows what she wants.

It'll be best to just stop all communication with her. That would be the best way to forget about her and move on.

Post #3 » by **mpharris36** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 8:36 pm

tetris...

Kn1cksNation · Post #4 » by **Kn1cksNation** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 8:39 pm

we always planned on getting married, its hard to just drop it

Kn1cksNation · Post #5 » by **Kn1cksNation** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 8:45 pm

Trav_NYK wrote:just move on man... no reason to try patch things up, seems like she knows what she wants.

It'll be best to just stop all communication with her. That would be the best way to forget about her and move on.

thats the thing, it doesnt seem like she does, she messaged me out the blue feeling alone and we obviously still love each other, its just what do i do now

Normalyute · Post #6 » by **Normalyute** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 8:46 pm

" we end up talking on the phone for 2hrs and she told me she loves me." Yet when u sent her the goodnight <3 she freaked out. I could be wrong here but I think she wants you to prove ur love to her not just say it. Try to convince her that you still love her even when she's pushing you away. Remember she believe you gave up on her way to easily when u took that 4 day break in January.

Kn1cksNation · Post #7 » by **Kn1cksNation** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 8:50 pm

Normalyute wrote:" we end up talking on the phone for 2hrs and she told me she loves me." Yet when u sent her the goodnight <3 she freaked out. I could be wrong here but I think she wants you to prove ur love to her not just say it. Try to convince her that you still love her even when she's pushing you away. Remember she believe you gave up on her way to easily when u took that 4 day break in January.

how? im open to ideas

Trav_NYK · Post #8 » by **Trav_NYK** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 8:51 pm

Kn1cksNation wrote:
Trav_NYK wrote:just move on man... no reason to try patch things up, seems like she knows what she wants.

It'll be best to just stop all communication with her. That would be the best way to forget about her and move on.

thats the thing, it doesnt seem like she does, she messaged me out the blue feeling alone and we obviously still love each other, its just what do i do now

Yeah thats just how girls get sometimes, they get lonely once its over. Did u get to the point where u guys were just together because you were used to it?

Thats what me and my ex was like. 3 and a half years we were together. By the end of it we were just together because we were so used to it. I know it may seem as if parting isnt the right choice but if its this hard to stay happy then idk if its worth it man.

A relationship is like a fart, if you have to force it then its most likely sh*t. lol

Kn1cksNation · Post #9 » by **Kn1cksNation** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 8:56 pm

Trav_NYK wrote:
Kn1cksNation wrote:
Trav_NYK wrote:just move on man... no reason to try patch things up, seems like she knows what she wants.

It'll be best to just stop all communication with her. That would be the best way to forget about her and move on.

thats the thing, it doesnt seem like she does, she messaged me out the blue feeling alone and we obviously still love each other, its just what do i do now

Yeah thats just how girls get sometimes, they get lonely once its over. Did u get to the point where u guys were just together because you were used to it?

Thats what me and my ex was like. 3 and a half years we were together. By the end of it we were just together because we were so used to it. I know it may seem as if parting isnt the right choice but if its this hard to stay happy then idk if its worth it man.

A relationship is like a fart, if you have to force it then its most likely sh*t. lol

we had miscommunication for sure, but we didnt force it, she just was super busy with work and school and i had my medical exam to study for

Meat · Post #10 » by **Meat** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 8:57 pm

Kn1cksNation wrote:I am going to keep this short and relevant, my gf and i of 4 years just broke up 3 weeks ago. we had been having problems because i had been distant due to studying medicine and my parents were getting close to getting a divorce and she was my only support. She felt neglected and alone. In january we took a break of 4 days and i didn't talk to her at all because i was sick with a bad flu and she said "was it that easy for you to drop me?" we fixed it and moved on but she still held some resentment. come feb 7th we break up she doesnt feel things will change. we did it over the phone and she didnt even want to meet in person. eventually we met in person and she told me she missed me and loved me but still wanted to be broken up. just last week she texts me saying she feels really alone, we end up talking on the phone for 2 hrs and she tells me she loves me and we play tetris online together but still not back together. this past tuesday i sent her a "goodnight <3" and she freaked saying dont send me <3's we are broken up and not getting back together.....so anyone have advice for me?

seems like normal breakup regret, the same **** that broke you up is going to happen again.

dont do it

Normalyute · Post #11 » by **Normalyute** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 8:58 pm

Kn1cksNation wrote:
Normalyute wrote:" we end up talking on the phone for 2hrs and she told me she loves me." Yet when u sent her the goodnight <3 she freaked out. I could be wrong here but I think she wants you to prove ur love to her not just say it. Try to convince her that you still love her even when she's pushing you away. Remember she believe you gave up on her way to easily when u took that 4 day break in January.

how? im open to ideas

Treat this like you just got her # for the 1st time and your trying to win her heart. Try to remember the things you did when you 1st met that made her choose you. The thing about relationships at some point they tend to get stagnant and boring, but if you truly love her man fight for your woman. Let her know you miss her like crazy man and she means the world to you.

LifeLongKNICK · Post #12 » by **LifeLongKNICK** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 9:01 pm

Kn1cksNation wrote:I am going to keep this short and relevant, my gf and i of 4 years just broke up 3 weeks ago. we had been having problems because i had been distant due to studying medicine and my parents were getting close to getting a divorce and she was my only support. She felt neglected and alone. In january we took a break of 4 days and i didn't talk to her at all because i was sick with a bad flu and she said "was it that easy for you to drop me?" we fixed it and moved on but she still held some resentment. come feb 7th we break up she doesnt feel things will change. we did it over the phone and she didnt even want to meet in person. eventually we met in person and she told me she missed me and loved me but still wanted to be broken up. just last week she texts me saying she feels really alone, we end up talking on the phone for 2 hrs and she tells me she loves me and we play tetris online together but still not back together. this past tuesday i sent her a "goodnight <3" and she freaked saying dont send me <3's we are broken up and not getting back together.....so anyone have advice for me?

yeah.move on.

Kn1cksNation · Post #13 » by **Kn1cksNation** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 9:04 pm

Normalyute wrote:
Kn1cksNation wrote:
Normalyute wrote:" we end up talking on the phone for 2hrs and she told me she loves me." Yet when u sent her the goodnight <3 she freaked out. I could be wrong here but I think she wants you to prove ur love to her not just say it. Try to convince her that you still love her even when she's pushing you away. Remember she believe you gave up on her way to easily when u took that 4 day break in January.

how? im open to ideas

Treat this like you just got her # for the 1st time and your trying to win her heart. Try to remember the things you did when you 1st met that made her choose you. The thing about relationships at some point they tend to get stagnant and boring, but if you truly love her man fight for your woman. Let her know you miss her like crazy man and she means the world to you.

oh she knows haha, im trying to give her some space now.

Nazrmohamed · Post #14 » by **Nazrmohamed** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 9:10 pm

Kn1cksNation wrote:
Normalyute wrote:" we end up talking on the phone for 2hrs and she told me she loves me." Yet when u sent her the goodnight <3 she freaked out. I could be wrong here but I think she wants you to prove ur love to her not just say it. Try to convince her that you still love her even when she's pushing you away. Remember she believe you gave up on her way to easily when u took that 4 day break in January.

how? im open to ideas

That's what it sounds like to me too. You'll get a lot of single dude advice here. I'm married 8yrs and will tell you, she loved the conversation but doesn't like that you were sorta casual with the love symbols.

Go get her son. Just show up WITH A DATE PLANNED ( I mean, tell her you're coming over)and tell her to get in the F'n car. Tell her you never stopped loving her, shyte just got crazy and now you are coming to collect your prize. But you cant do it like a little punk. You gotta have alittle swagger to it. Don't over apologize either, cause apologies just give ladies things to hold over you for like 8 years. Just do what I said. Say things got crazy, you never forgot about her and now the old you is back.

If she says she loves you just respond with two words..." I know"

Jalen Bluntson · Post #15 » by **Jalen Bluntson** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 9:14 pm

Either she is testing you or done with you. Either way...forget her. Consider that she is playing games when you are going through a lot just to see if you love her? Nail one of njer friends you always felt was cute and move on. She will stop playing Terri's immediately.

NYKinMIA · Post #16 » by **NYKinMIA** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 9:20 pm

Sorry, I don't do relationship advice, but a sincere good luck to you.

But I love these types of threads because...

emo · Post #17 » by **emo** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 10:22 pm

You're supposed to know the girl better than any of us would... so take some of the advice here and try to apply the bits and pieces that makes sense for the both of you. Don't follow some of these THOT laws type of responses word for word. Same goes for the simp replies like the following.

It seems that you do admit to neglecting her just prior to the breakup... and your actions (regardless of the having the flu or whatever) didn't make things any better during that 4 day "break", especially if she was the first one to reach out after that.

From the sounds of your actions and your story, you don't make it seem like you're that interested in the relationship anymore. It's almost like you're just going through the motions, but playing it as if it isn't that big of a deal to you (at least that's the way reading this post made it sound)

But just in-case I'm reading the situation wrong.. and you DO in-fact care for this girl, love her and you want her back.. want her in your life.. I know this comes off as a sucka move in this day & age, but I think you'll have to put yourself out there a little. Let her in, in a sense. Speak from the heart, let her know.

Let her know that you know you were wrong for neglecting her. Let her know your reasons, your fears.. maybe something about your parents getting divorced made you want to protect your feelings some.. like I wouldn't know.. that's something you'll have to bring out... TALK to her, bro.

And cut that phone/text bullsh*t out.

Meet up somewhere you guys can have a nice conversation, take her something that makes her feel appreciated when she gets it from you. Let her know that you WANT her and that you're willing to put your heart on the line for her.

When she says silly things like don't send her "<3's" anymore. Tell her that you still love and care for her(if you do) and that's something you're not gonna stop doing regardless (as silly as it seems).

If you want her in your life, and still see yourself marrying her in the future.. go get girl, bro.

And F*CK ALL of you judging me after reading this post!

Kn1cksNation · Post #18 » by **Kn1cksNation** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 10:25 pm

emo wrote:You're supposed to know the girl better than any of us would... so take some of the advice here and try to apply the bits and pieces that makes sense for the both of you. Don't follow some of these THOT laws type of responses word for word. Same goes for the simp replies like the following.

It seems that you do admit to neglecting her just prior to the breakup... and your actions (regardless of the having the flu or whatever) didn't make things any better during that 4 day "break", especially if she was the first one to reach out after that.

From the sounds of your actions and your story, you don't make it seem like you're that interested in the relationship anymore. It's almost like you're just going through the motions, but playing it as if it isn't that big of a deal to you (at least that's the way reading this post made it sound)

But just in-case I'm reading the situation wrong.. and you DO in-fact care for this girl, love her and you want her back.. want her in your life.. I know this comes off as a sucka move in this day & age, but I think you'll have to put yourself out there a little. Let her in, in a sense. Speak from the heart, let her know.

Let her know that you know you were wrong for neglecting her. Let her know your reasons, your fears.. maybe something about your parents getting divorced made you want to protect your feelings some.. like I wouldn't know.. that's something you'll have to bring out... TALK to her, bro.

And cut that phone/text bullsh*t out.

Meet up somewhere you guys can have a nice conversation, take her something that makes her feel appreciated when she gets it from you. Let her know that you WANT her and that you're willing to put your heart on the line for her.

When she says silly things like don't send her "<3's" anymore. Tell her that you still love and care for her(if you do) and that's something you're not gonna stop doing regardless (as silly as it seems).

If you want her in your life, and still see yourself marrying her in the future.. go get girl, bro.

And F*CK ALL of you judging me after reading this post!

Haha no, im sorry if it came off as that, i truly do love this girl more than anything, but everytime i say lets meet up shes all i dont think its a good idea blah blah, but you're right

Zooropa · Post #19 » by **Zooropa** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 10:26 pm

Just ended a 2 year relationship. Know the feeling. Good luck homie

Sprewell4Three · Post #20 » by **Sprewell4Three** » Mon Mar 2, 2015 10:33 pm

Kn1cksNation wrote:
emo wrote:You're supposed to know the girl better than any of us would... so take some of the advice here and try to apply the bits and pieces that makes sense for the both of you. Don't follow some of these THOT laws type of responses word for word. Same goes for the simp replies like the following.

It seems that you do admit to neglecting her just prior to the breakup... and your actions (regardless of the having the flu or whatever) didn't make things any better during that 4 day "break", especially if she was the first one to reach out after that.

From the sounds of your actions and your story, you don't make it seem like you're that interested in the relationship anymore. It's almost like you're just going through the motions, but playing it as if it isn't that big of a deal to you (at least that's the way reading this post made it sound)

But just in-case I'm reading the situation wrong.. and you DO in-fact care for this girl, love her and you want her back.. want her in your life.. I know this comes off as a sucka move in this day & age, but I think you'll have to put yourself out there a little. Let her in, in a sense. Speak from the heart, let her know.

Let her know that you know you were wrong for neglecting her. Let her know your reasons, your fears.. maybe something about your parents getting divorced made you want to protect your feelings some.. like I wouldn't know.. that's something you'll have to bring out... TALK to her, bro.

And cut that phone/text bullsh*t out.

Meet up somewhere you guys can have a nice conversation, take her something that makes her feel appreciated when she gets it from you. Let her know that you WANT her and that you're willing to put your heart on the line for her.

When she says silly things like don't send her "<3's" anymore. Tell her that you still love and care for her(if you do) and that's something you're not gonna stop doing regardless (as silly as it seems).

If you want her in your life, and still see yourself marrying her in the future.. go get girl, bro.

And F*CK ALL of you judging me after reading this post!

Haha no, im sorry if it came off as that, i truly do love this girl more than anything, but everytime i say lets meet up shes all i dont think its a good idea blah blah, but you're right

I think you should give her time and wait once again for her to contact you. You said she has said no about meeting up, right? So that's your q to let her chill for a bit.