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Tankoholics Anonymous: A 12 Step Program

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hankscorpioLA
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Tankoholics Anonymous: A 12 Step Program 

Post#1 » by hankscorpioLA » Wed Apr 16, 2014 9:04 pm

With the Raptors on the verge of their first playoff appearance in 6 years, this is a hard time for tankers. But don't worry, because we are here to help you in your darkest hours.

Read to this tale and see if it sounds like you.

"Hi....my name is CLOWNangelozBallZ and I am a tankololic.

I guess it all started in 2007. I was riding high and thought that my troubles were over. But then things started to take a turn for the worse. It was clear that my team was....missing something.... For a while I tried to stay strong, but by 2009, I couldn't take it anymore.

As much as I knew it was wrong, I couldn't convince myself not to do it. I just stopped believing in the General Manager. It was like everything was being run by idiots. How could I put my faith in them? I realize now that the problem wasn't that I had faith. It was that I had put my faith in the wrong person. But at the time, all I cared about was making something happen that would make the pain stop. Eventually it all became too much and I gave in to my tankohlic impulse.

You have to understand...there is nothing like the sweet thrill of believing in that one savior...that one thing that is going to make it all right. You just keep chasing it and chasing it. But it never came. And things never got better. At a certain point, I just gave up.

But with the help of the 12 steps, I now have faith in Masai, faith in the Raptors and, most importantly, faith in myself. I still understand that tanking is OK sometimes for some people. They can balance their desire to tank with reason and logic. I understand that I can't do that and so I have to just resist the urge to tank.

Thank you for listening. Go Raptors."


Now that you have seen how the disease of tankoholism can affect you and how the 12 steps can help, its up to you to take the next step.

These are the steps that past tankoholics have taken and it has been more successful than any other anti-tanking program anywhere in the world.


The TA 12 Step Program:

1) We admitted we were powerless over basketball decisions and that our posts had become unmanageable.

2) Came to believe that a General Manager greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3) Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Masai as we understood Him.

4) Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our posting history.

5) Admitted to Masai, to ourselves, and to another RealGM poster the exact nature of our wrongs.

6) Were entirely ready to have a moderator remove all the defects on our history.

7) Humbly asked Masai to remove the shortcomings of our roster.

8) Made a list of all posters we had insulted, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9) Sent Private Messages to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10) Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11) Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Masai as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12) Having had a spiritual basketball awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to tankers everywhere, and to practice these principles in all our postings throughout the playoffs and beyond.


When you are ready, brothers...we are here to help you.

Perhaps others have similar stories to tell...or confessions they wish to make.

This is the place.
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Clementine9
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Re: Tankoholics Anonymous: A 12 Step Program 

Post#2 » by Clementine9 » Wed Apr 16, 2014 9:11 pm

Masai makes tank move, it works out, everyone's surprised, anti-tankers say they were right the whole time... like they knew something no one else did.

Also- though I don't know why I even bother to write this considering no one EVER listens to it- tanking is about long term success. This team is still full of unknowns and there is still the question of its level of talent. *People can gloat all they want but it doesn't mean anything until there is sustainable success.

EDIT: Tanking is still something they may be the ultimate end for the Raptors. We shall see.
Lateral Quicks wrote:Gradually JV's minutes will approach zero at the same time his points and rebounds approach infinity - a statistical singularity, if you will. Shrewd move from Nurse.
Double Helix
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Re: Tankoholics Anonymous: A 12 Step Program 

Post#3 » by Double Helix » Wed Apr 16, 2014 9:14 pm

You're a great poster, Hank. Truly. But this idea probably seemed a lot better in your head. :-)

I can relate. I make this same mistake all the time in real life and on here. :lol:

Hate to say it but... in before the reaction GIFs

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Scraptor
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Re: Tankoholics Anonymous: A 12 Step Program 

Post#4 » by Scraptor » Wed Apr 16, 2014 9:15 pm

I guess waiting to gloat until after we won a playoff series was too big a risk to take.

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