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OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland

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OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#1 » by hankscorpioLA » Wed Oct 1, 2014 4:22 pm

IMHO this is a must-read.

Too often we fall into the trap of thinking that because an NBA player gets to live the dream of being a professional athlete, their lives must be perfect. We also tend to like to rip apart those players who don't live up to OUR expectations of what their lives should be like.

The reality is that just like the rest of us, these guys suffer, struggle and sometimes fall apart. Money and fame can be great things, but they are also double-edged swords, as likely to cause harm as they are to give you a great life.

What affected me most about this story is that its so atypical of the athlete "mythology" we all buy into. Keyon Dooling's story is complicated, but it is also very human and real. Its not so much about the abuse that he suffered, but how he then forced himself to suffer for years more by holding it all inside and how it all blew up in an instant where he almost killed a man.

In short, this is a profile of a basketball player as a tragic and flawed, but ultimately redeemed individual whose journey does not allow us to judge him with the kinds of simple statements we see being thrown around about the various issues facing sports at the moment.

http://grantland.com/features/keyon-doo ... iami-heat/

Two excerpts:

Now, when Dooling looks back on those years, he sees how he tried to cope with the trauma of his past. He sees himself in fourth grade, sneaking to his father’s liquor cabinet, pouring himself strong drinks and sipping them until the world was gone. He sees himself in middle school, smoking weed with friends, letting the drug ease the anxiety he’d felt since that afternoon. He sees himself at that same age, flirting with girls and then taking them home. The more girls he slept with, he thought, the more he proved that he was no longer that little boy.

Basketball helped. On the court, he could assert his dominance. With the ball in his hands, he never felt like a victim. He loved the power his talent gave him, the confidence that grew from knowing that almost every kid in his school and his neighborhood could only dream of doing what he could do on a hardwood floor. The first time he dunked — as a freshman, in a game — he felt invincible. As he grew older, the memory of that afternoon faded, but the coping strategies remained.


...

But in the quiet of Dooling’s hotel room, the flashbacks returned. Not only of the abuse, but of other dark moments in Dooling’s life — the death of his father, his wife’s miscarriage, the gunshots he’d seen and heard as a teen. They invaded his thoughts, turned him paranoid. Every moment seemed filled with dread. He didn’t know how or why or when, but somehow, Dooling thought, soon he was going to die.

He tried to talk himself down. He told himself that his problems were spiritual, that he was being punished for his past sins. If he could get right with God, then he could make this all go away. Dooling had always considered himself a Christian, but as an adult, his devotion waned: He prayed less; he chose immediate pleasures even when he believed they were wrong. So now, alone in his hotel room, Dooling called out to God. He begged: for forgiveness, for relief, for anything that would restore his peace of mind and undo whatever that man in Seattle had done.
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#2 » by raptorfever » Wed Oct 1, 2014 4:30 pm

BRUH...
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#3 » by yk24 » Wed Oct 1, 2014 4:44 pm

Great read. Thanks for posting
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#4 » by gerrit4 » Wed Oct 1, 2014 5:10 pm

Wow, great article. Props to Dooling for opening up like that and helping so many others.
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#5 » by shmoosicle » Wed Oct 1, 2014 5:38 pm

Very moving story.
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#6 » by ontnut » Wed Oct 1, 2014 5:57 pm

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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#7 » by ender » Wed Oct 1, 2014 6:25 pm

What a story. It really is sad how one horrible incident can fester and scar us for life. Success means nothing when you are tormented by demons.

I have so much respect for anyone who can overcome or at least manage adversity.
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#8 » by trick » Wed Oct 1, 2014 6:29 pm

Wow, definitely a great read.
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#9 » by TdotRap4Lyfe » Wed Oct 1, 2014 6:31 pm

That's some deep stuff. Thanks for the post.
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#10 » by jonny three time » Wed Oct 1, 2014 6:47 pm

So has Grantland officially reached the point where every sports fan should have it as a constant tab on their browser like RealGM is for most of us?
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#11 » by Meeksology » Wed Oct 1, 2014 7:08 pm

Dope
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#12 » by night_day » Wed Oct 1, 2014 8:31 pm

We don't throw around must read too much, but this is definately must read material. Amazing article, much respect to Dooling for everything he's overcome
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#13 » by Young_Buc » Wed Oct 1, 2014 9:34 pm

wow....
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#14 » by team edward » Wed Oct 1, 2014 9:46 pm

Good read. Athletes are people just like everyone else. Its a big deal for anyone, let alone a pro baller, to publicly talk about sexual abuse and mental health problems.

That said, i don't see how this illuminates anything with respect to the wife beaters and child abusers currently in the news. Dooley assaulted a guy who sexually assaulted him, and while the response may not have been proportionate, he's no Ray Rice. Tell me all the sob stories in the world, nothing justifies slapping your wife or hurting children.
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#15 » by RedX » Wed Oct 1, 2014 9:53 pm

Crazy...

read it.
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#16 » by RedX » Wed Oct 1, 2014 9:54 pm

team edward wrote:Good read. Athletes are people just like everyone else. Its a big deal for anyone, let alone a pro baller, to publicly talk about sexual abuse and mental health problems.

That said, i don't see how this illuminates anything with respect to the wife beaters and child abusers currently in the news. Dooley assaulted a guy who sexually assaulted him, and while the response may not have been proportionate, he's no Ray Rice. Tell me all the sob stories in the world, nothing justifies slapping your wife or hurting children.


I don't think Keyon's story has anything to do with that, at all. Did you read it? It's about sexual abuse and a lifelong internal struggle dealing with it's lingering effects. How speaking about it starts the healing process, and how incredibly difficult it is to do that.
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#17 » by TheDoctor » Wed Oct 1, 2014 10:16 pm

That's some heavy reading. :clap: to Keyon and his wife working together to make his pain a springboard to helping others.
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#18 » by team edward » Wed Oct 1, 2014 10:25 pm

RedX wrote:
team edward wrote:Good read. Athletes are people just like everyone else. Its a big deal for anyone, let alone a pro baller, to publicly talk about sexual abuse and mental health problems.

That said, i don't see how this illuminates anything with respect to the wife beaters and child abusers currently in the news. Dooley assaulted a guy who sexually assaulted him, and while the response may not have been proportionate, he's no Ray Rice. Tell me all the sob stories in the world, nothing justifies slapping your wife or hurting children.


I don't think Keyon's story has anything to do with that, at all. Did you read it? It's about sexual abuse and a lifelong internal struggle dealing with it's lingering effects. How speaking about it starts the healing process, and how incredibly difficult it is to do that.

Yeah i read it, thats why i said "good read". I was alluding to the OP's thoughts on how this is relevant to the current news cycle of violent, disturbed pro athletes.
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#19 » by martypython » Wed Oct 1, 2014 10:30 pm

jonny three time wrote:So has Grantland officially reached the point where every sports fan should have it as a constant tab on their browser like RealGM is for most of us?


I would say it's a cardinal sin if you don't have Grantland as a constant tab.
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Re: OT: "Keyon Dooling's Secret" - story on Grantland 

Post#20 » by hankscorpioLA » Thu Oct 2, 2014 12:27 am

team edward wrote:Good read. Athletes are people just like everyone else. Its a big deal for anyone, let alone a pro baller, to publicly talk about sexual abuse and mental health problems.

That said, i don't see how this illuminates anything with respect to the wife beaters and child abusers currently in the news. Dooley assaulted a guy who sexually assaulted him, and while the response may not have been proportionate, he's no Ray Rice. Tell me all the sob stories in the world, nothing justifies slapping your wife or hurting children.


I didn't mean it that way. Its just that I find we tend to oversimplify things when it comes to athletes - or most celebrities for that matter. The way people are talking about Ray Rice and others falls into this pattern. I am not for a moment suggesting that the two situations are similar. But when I read something like this it reminds me that these guys are all just human beings like the rest of us and prone to the same failings and struggles as anyone else. Yet we don't talk about them in that way. We are quick to judge and label someone as this or that, but as a story like this reminds us, people are more than just their best and worst. They are all the muddy stuff in between as well. And nothing is ever as simple as it seems on the nightly sports report.
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