Hall Of Fame

[BigSlam]

In response to Biz not getting a single min of PT Vs the Cavs 14 games into the season when some interior D might have really helped the Bobcats win the game:

[BigSlam]

Only thing uglier than that first half is the genetic freakshow that is the Hornets. Wow, are they motley looking crew. I would much rather watch the Bobcats lose every night than be a Hornets fan and have to cheer on this group of mutants. Kaman looks more and more like an inbred, hillbilly, serial killer every year, I'm almost positive that Vasquez was the star of the Venezuelan remake of Breakin’ 2 Electric Boogaloo, and Ayon? Undoubtedly a flesh golem.

[fatlever]

This game is awful. For my own amusement, I'm going to make up random facts through out the game, feel free to play along.

Did you know? That Byron Mullens has never failed to complete the journey on the computer game The Oregon Trail.

[BigSlam]

LamarMatic7 immortalizes our entire 2011/2012 season in 6 mins and 52 glorious seconds:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKXineaZAh0

[BigSlam]

Do we have that time and patience for Drummond?

I feel like our championship window will be open juuust long enough to justify waiting on Drummond to develop...

[BigSlam]

dj white is headed to china according to hoopshype. he gets a new nickname "the great turnstile of china". in related news the mongols just invaded northern china through a huge hole in the great wall of china. said mongol leader "we have been waiting 1000 years to find a way to pass through the wall. last night this enormous black man wearing a #8 charlotte bobcats jersey was standing in front of a hole in the wall. we just ran right past him. he barely moved. this is a great day for mongolia"

[BigSlam]

On Diop losing a lot of weight and playing good over a 2min stretch:

Probably feels more confident now that he lost the weight, can finally fit into his skinny jeans.

[fatlever]

I think in a 48 minute game of basketball we play about 32 minutes of great team ball, the other 16 we play guys who don't belong in the NBA.

credit to sik and lamar for the combined effort on this nugget

[BigSlam]

On yet another Bismack dunk attempt from a standing start under the rim coming up short:

anyone want to bet me money that the hoop nailed to the tree in bismack's backyard as a kid was 9'10" high?

[BigSlam]

On Fats "personal experience" of being Catfished:

well, back in 2004 i was a highly recruited football player the swamps of Louisiana where i grew up as a waterboy for the local college . i had never heard of the internet until i went to college at adams university, home of the adams atoms. i was the 2nd string quarterback my freshman year and our star quarterback was injured trying to make a tackle on an interception return. he was paralyzed. i was forced into a starting role, but i was more concerned with my ailing grandmother who i lived with while my dad was fighting in iraq. after my first game as starting quarterback the girlfriend of the hurt quarterback sent me an email with a picture of her naked with only whipped cream covering her private parts. i was in love, but it turns out, it wasnt her at all, it was really our female field goal kicker, who was a former soccer star who sent the email. meanwhile a bunch of nerds broke into the locker room and poured liquid heat all over my jockstrap, my crazy swamp mom banned me from playing football because she thought it was the devil's sport, our mean coach almost killed one of the offensive linemen by making him play thru a concussion, we found out my math teacher is a stripper on the side, my best friend killed a guy who was trying to stalk his super hot crush and now they are together even though she is way out of his league, and the female field goal kicker wasnt really a female after all, but a man with a blonde wig.

CATFISHED

[BigSlam]

Shabazz is the last thing Sacramento needs but he fits right into that team's culture.

and Bud light fits into the culture at an AA meeting, doesn't mean you show up with a keg

[BigSlam]

not for nothing, cody was asked in a summer league interview "if you were stranded on a desert island and could only have three things, what would they be?"

his answer was a machete, a whole bunch of string, and a tarp. not too bad. clearly someone who has learned the lessons of castaway.

- snip -

Cody Zeller ‏@CodyZeller 9m

My mom told me that I need to start looking for furniture for my apartment. I have an air mattress and a fridge. What else would I need?!

A machete, a whole bunch of string, and a tarp.

[BigSlam]

BD's response to a poster seeing Kemba at a block party double fisting coronas:

Double fisting coronas? Not a good sign. We need the kind of point guard that makes intoxication easier for his teammates. A play making PG would carry a tray of tequila shots.

[BigSlam]

Knicks are rolling out a starting lineup of Melo, JR's little brother Chris at SG, JR's fidgety, paranoid nephew Trevor at PG, his favorite - and very large - aunt Loretta at PF, and his drunken uncle Keith at C who once had a shot at the title.

[BigSlam]

CDR has the most random collection of tattoos ever....its like he has been rolling around in stickers

[BigSlam]

Nikola Littledick strikes me as the guy on your roster who is the very first guy to get naked in the locker room to get ready for the shower but the last person actually in the shower and then is the first guy out of the shower but the last guy to actually get dressed.

I think he would like to dangle around a lot of his little Pek as he strides around the locker room with a sly smile on his face and the occasional "whaaaaaatttttttt? whattttttttttttttttttttttt?" as he shrugs his shoulders, tilts his head and casually raises one foot to a seat with the other foot anchored on the ground.

[BigSlam]

I can smell your flavor of troll bait a mile away. I'm less likely to get into a war with you than Royce White is to get on a plane or use a condom.

[BigSlam]

Amcoolio does an amazing job of creating 2014 Playoff sigs for the board:

Taking more requests like in 2010, if you want something you don't see. I work a lot and am creatively bankrupt haha.

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[BigSlam]

On getting herpes from Fats as being one of the worst things that could happen this off season:

I'd be pretty embarrassed to get herpes from somebody called fats.

So you'd be cool with it if their name was something else?

[BigSlam]

On the upcoming 2014 NBA Draft:

I literally just typed out "who is representing us this year", forgetting that we made the playoffs.

Old habits.