Crash's bus trip diary

Bassman · Post #1 » by **Bassman** » Wed Feb 4, 2009 2:49 pm

Since Crash is on a long bus trip cross country, what entries would you guess he's making in his diary during the long ride to Charlotte?

Dear Diary,

It's been a long time since I took a road trip. I didn't realize the desert was So d*** BIG! Keep getting text's from Bynum. Now he says he hurt his knee on purpose. Call's it his 7 pounds of flesh. Whatever. At least he can lay down without pain, or cough without pain. Here's another one: My agent says "get well soon so he can engineer a deal with me and Felts for E Brown...HA HA". LB sent me one, says "hurry home, our butt's are getting spanked without you!" Well that's all for now diary. I'm going to chill by watching my favorite DVD...."Crash". Signed, Gerald.

Post #2 » by **BigSlam** » Wed Feb 4, 2009 3:30 pm

Dearph Diaree,

Ima gumph eneagh eeeppp whtia whumph ahwesa. Yawesm aweras henna ditta witta whatta whow. Unndawe ferrege dawtnsw askbewa. Wwahevi lekkily swawnmp weasll....."Craaaasshhhh". Siggned, Glrd.

My assupmtion is that I can't understand him when he talks so I wouldn't be able to understand what he writes.

Post #3 » by **Paydro70** » Wed Feb 4, 2009 3:44 pm

My first thought was definitely that you were making a cruel concussion joke.

Post #4 » by **fatlever** » Wed Feb 4, 2009 5:25 pm

LOL at slams post. that's instant HOF material, imo.

Post #5 » by **fatlever** » Wed Feb 4, 2009 5:41 pm

Dear diary,

I am so mad right now. I’ve been seeing billboards reading “come see the worlds largest toilet at Jumbo John’s Truck Stop” for the past 2 hours, and now the bus driver tells me we can’t stop. The toilet has a staircase…. A freaking staircase!!! I’ll never get a chance to see that again. WORST TRIP EVER!!!!

The_Dudeski · Post #6 » by **The_Dudeski** » Wed Feb 4, 2009 5:57 pm

BigSlam wrote:
Dearph Diaree,

Ima gumph eneagh eeeppp whtia whumph ahwesa. Yawesm aweras henna ditta witta whatta whow. Unndawe ferrege dawtnsw askbewa. Wwahevi lekkily swawnmp weasll....."Craaaasshhhh". Siggned, Glrd.

My assupmtion is that I can't understand him when he talks so I wouldn't be able to understand what he writes.

I picture that sounding like Mushmouth from Fat Albert

Post #7 » by **fatlever** » Wed Feb 4, 2009 6:01 pm

crash sounds like barry white with a mouthful of marbles and novocaine.

Rich4114 · Post #8 » by **Rich4114** » Wed Feb 4, 2009 8:11 pm

Paydro70 wrote:My first thought was definitely that you were making a cruel concussion joke.

LOL, that's what my first thought was too.

Post #9 » by **fatlever** » Wed Feb 4, 2009 9:15 pm

Dear Diary,

I just slept through Oklahoma. Did I miss anything?

Post #10 » by **fatlever** » Wed Feb 4, 2009 9:41 pm

Dear Diary,

The bus is now parked in front of a Dairy Queen in Pine Bluff, Arkansas. The driver is inside asking for directions to get back to the Interstate while I eat an Oreo Blizzard [mmmm]. We just spent an hour driving around this dump of a town looking for the birthplace of the legendary NBA guard, Lafayette "Fat" Lever. Nobody here in Hickville has ever heard of him. In fact, some old lady just punched me in the stomach and called me a "pervert" when i told here i was here to see Fat Lever. I think she may have broken another of my ribs. Is it so strange to see a 6'8" black man, get off a charter bus wearing a hospital gown and pulling along an IV bag asking to see Fat Lever's house? What is wrong with this town? Arkansas sucks.

Post #11 » by **fatlever** » Wed Feb 4, 2009 9:58 pm

Dear Diary,

I just watched the entire first season of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Do you think it is really possible for computers and cyborgs to take over the world? Damn you Skynet. And how does time travel work? Why dont the cyborgs just send someone back in time with a nuclear weapon and have them blow up LA? When my wife went up front I played Cameron's scene's in slow motion. She is so hot, but then again, she is a cyborg. I wonder if she has a............. nevermind.

Up next on the DVD player, the Golden Girls, Season 4. It's for my wife, I swear.

Bassman · Post #12 » by **Bassman** » Wed Feb 4, 2009 10:47 pm

Dear Diary,

My rear is gettin' so stiff, even on this sweet ride. Must say I never knew so much land existed between coasts. I-70 sure is bumpy as he** in Missouri. Saw some weirdo sign hung off a bridge near St. Louis...said "Get Well Soon Crash! - Bass"...dude holdin' the sign looked slumped over, so we pulled over at the next exit, but saw a sign at Denny's about givin' away free slams, so pulled in and got off the bus. CRAP! It's COLD MAN, 12 degrees! I got back in, driver got me a slam to go, and hit the road. Hope that bassdude ain't dead. Next DVD...a TV series.."The White Shadow"...yeah, I'm gettin' near the end of my collection. All for now...Gerald

Post #13 » by **fatlever** » Thu Feb 5, 2009 3:37 am

Dear Diary,

I am writing this from the Memphis Amtrack station. Our bus had some engine troubles and the mechanic said it wouldn't be fixed until sometime next week. We decided to take the train the rest of the way to Charlotte. Hopefully nothing else goes wrong on this trip. By the way, i just met a portly fellow named Del Griffith. He's a shower curtain ring salesman. Said he lost his wallet on the road so i bought him a train ticket. His seat is next to mine. He seems harmless enough. Well, they are boarding the train now, gotta run.

Post #14 » by **Walt Cronkite** » Thu Feb 5, 2009 6:57 am

Way OT: Is Cameron Summer Glau? She's nice to look at. Is Del Griffith from Planes, Trains and Automobiles? It's too late to google.

Post #15 » by **BigSlam** » Thu Feb 5, 2009 2:12 pm

fatlever wrote:By the way, i just met a portly fellow named Del Griffith. He's a shower curtain ring salesman. Said he lost his wallet on the road so i bought him a train ticket. His seat is next to mine. He seems harmless enough. Well, they are boarding the train now, gotta run.

Post #16 » by **fatlever** » Thu Feb 5, 2009 4:53 pm

Walt Cronkite wrote:Way OT: Is Cameron Summer Glau? She's nice to look at. Is Del Griffith from Planes, Trains and Automobiles? It's too late to google.

yeah, that's her. she plays the teen terminator that is living with john and sarah on the show. she is hot.

plains, trains and automobiles, you got it. one of the all time classic comedies.

i think i am having way too much fun with crash's bus trip diary. thanks bass.

Bassman · Post #17 » by **Bassman** » Fri Feb 6, 2009 1:11 am

"Dear Diary,

Well we're almost to Charlotte so this could be my last entry in the great american road trip...LOL! It's not been fun ...I'm used to jets and fine quarters. But I must say it's given me time to think. I wonder if MJ realizes my value to this team now? I know it's more than me, but I hope they realize how hard I play, and my work, really means something. I think they do, but you never know with this group. Gettin hungry, told the driver to stop by the first Bojangles we could find. I need a chicken biscuit. HEY??!!? I was just surfin the web, and SOMEBODY'S BEEN STEALING MY DIARY AND PUTTIN IT ON REAL GM!! Ain't no place for privacy anymore. Well, word up to my fans...see you as soon as I can." Gerald]

cedric76 · Post #18 » by **cedric76** » Fri Feb 6, 2009 4:00 pm

So when is wallace due back? (or just a guess?)
thx

GetMoney · Post #19 » by **GetMoney** » Fri Feb 6, 2009 7:38 pm

i read yesterday that larry brown didn't expect him back for at least 2 weeks.. the only thing is, i don't kno if that's a recent quote or just a rehashed quote, because he said the same thing a couple days after crash was hurt too

cedric76 · Post #20 » by **cedric76** » Fri Feb 6, 2009 8:10 pm

so a month max?