Funny NBA stories

[Frank Mulely]

Another Large Penis story, relayed by a colleague of mine.

NBA reporter is in the Houston Rockets locker room in the 1980s. He spies Billy "The Whopper" Paultz walking out of the locker room. His shock registers on his face, to which Moses Malone responded, "Now you know why we call him The Whopper."

this story is even better when you think about how it would sound in moses' actual voice

[Frank Mulely]

Loose Balls is worth buying for the Marvin Barnes stuff alone. Once refused to get on a plane for a one-hour flight to a different time zone because it would end up landing before it took off. "I ain't getting on no time machine." Once lost a Rolls Royce because he forgot where he parked it.

barnes is a trip. from his wikipedia entry:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvin_Barnes

His nickname, "Bad News", came from his frequent off-court problems. These began when he was a senior at Central High School. He was part of a gang that attempted to rob a bank. He was quickly identified as he was wearing his state championship jacket with his name embroidered on the back.

[Ronito]

3 pages and not a single mention of Jerry Stackhouse?

http://dimemag.com/2012/08/the-top-5-ti ... -player/4/

Basically, it's the KG vs. Melo situation with the elbows.

“[after a game against Utah] Stackhouse tells [Kirk Snyder], “I’m going to kick your ass,” but the kid doesn’t think anything about it. Game’s over, Stackhouse, who dresses all GQ, goes to the equipment manager and asks for a warm-up suit, puts that on, goes out into the tunnel, sees Snyder, kicks his ass with a couple of punches, goes back into the locker room, returns the warm-up and puts on a nice blue suit. All in a day’s work.”

That's hilarious to me.

[nykballa2k4]

John Salley

The team was full of these characters, too. There was Carlos Rogers, Oliver Miller—people forget because of the weight thing, but the Big O could play—and Alvin Robertson. Alvin Robertson was the scariest player I ever played against. He would beat the **** out of anybody. If you told me to put together a team of all the old-timers, it would be Alvin Robertson and Sidney Moncrief—just tough dudes.

OT: That man MUST be in some way related to Carter/TMac.

[JasonStern]

from http://www.thebiglead.com/index.php/2008/04/07/an-interview-with-the-oregonians-john-canzano/:

Blazers back-up centers Ha Seung Jin and Nedzad Sinanovic were locked in the Blazers practice facility together for the summer, playing against each other because they needed the work. ... they’re yapping and cussing at each other, most of which neither can understand because of the language differences. ... the two players were shooting free throws together in silence. ...

Sinanovic made his final free throw, then retrieved the basketball and held it. I mean, it was like watching kids bicker and fight. Ha walked over and snatched the ball back. Then, Sinanovic said something unkind and two men ended up on the ground in a pile of swinging elbows and fists.

The fight was broken up by Blazers trainers and team managers, who are all about two feet shorter than the two players. Ha, who took a good punch in the face from Ned, was screaming, “I’ll sue! I’ll sue!”

Normally the story would end here. Except Ha’s neutral corner happened to be the team weight room. He picks up one of those long wooden poles that players use to stretch. Ha just comes running out of the weight room swinging the pole and screaming expletives in Korean. He really went after Sinanovic, who blocked one swing with his forearm but took another shot in the ribs before someone ripped the pole (think: closet dowel) from Ha’s hands and threw it across the courts.

[Frank Mulely]

this thread cannot be allowed to die

[crosko42]

this thread cannot be allowed to die

So damn funny.

Just googling other stories now.

[FadeawayProdigy]

Up. One of the best threads I've read here in RealGm.

[Beard]

Marvin Barnes is quite possibily the Basketball History GOAT for ridiculousness.

[Bandwagon1]

SUIT: WOLVES PLAYER WATCHED PORN, CAUSED CRASH

(WCCO) Minneapolis – On March 30, Minnesota Timberwolves center Eddie Griffin* was drunk and masturbating when he crashed his luxury SUV into a parked Suburban outside a store in Minneapolis, according to a lawsuit filed Thursday by the man whose Suburban was hit in the crash.The WCCO-TV I-TEAM obtained copies of 911 calls and store surveillance video of the incident, along with an accident report the police submitted to the state.

Several of the 911 callers that night said Griffin was drunk. One witness said Griffin told him he was watching pornography in a DVD player mounted on the dashboard of his Cadillac Escalade SUV when he struck a Chevy Suburban parked on University Avenue Southeast. The location where Griffin crashed is located a couple miles from the Target Center where Griffin had played with his team several hours earlier.

[mid-post]

That one is kind of sad, but only in retrospect. There's an Eddie Griffin fan on here that takes people to task whenever that story gets brought up.

[BadNFluenz]

Rasheed Wallace and Damon Stoudamire got pulled over driving back from a game against seattle while smoking weed. Police recognized them because there was a huge load of smoke coming out of the car's window.

Later, 3lbs of weed was found at Damon's house.

[theBlackMagic]

Larry Bird had Patrick Ewing buy him beer while the dream team were in monacco because he couldn't justify paying 20$ for a beer

[Draper]

Article about partying in Vegas with LeBron. Was apparently removed from ESPN because the reporter never identified himself as a reporter.

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0BzRY0yl ... l=en&pli=1

[Fat Kat]

You have to be pretty damn talented to watch porn, masturbate and drive at the same time.

[Welfare Fraud]

That GM who watched Jayson Williams dunk the ball couldn't be that basketball stupid. How do you not know how high a rim is if your supposed to be a GM for a team? That's crazy.

__________

None of 6 foot 8, Rodman's teammates liked the fact that Dennis could just not seem to keep away from the booze.

Teammate Jesse James, husband of actress Sandra Bullock and a motorcyle builder who has personally built close to one million motorcycles, said that he has never seen a man drink three bottles of Jack Daniels Whiskey in one sitting as Rodman did.

Former Dallas Cowboys running back Herschel Walker, who once scored eight touchdowns in a game against the Pittsburgh Steelers, said that he once witnessed D.R. at an IHOP eat a plate of 10 pancakes and then wash them down with a six-pack of Coors Light.

personally built a million motorcycles? 8 TDs in a game? where'd you get this info?
[/nofun]

[G R E Y]

Article about partying in Vegas with LeBron. Was apparently removed from ESPN because the reporter never identified himself as a reporter.

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0BzRY0yl ... l=en&pli=1

If any of this is even kind of true, it's amazing for all the wrong reasons lol

[ferk]

That GM who watched Jayson Williams dunk the ball couldn't be that basketball stupid. How do you not know how high a rim is if your supposed to be a GM for a team? That's crazy.

__________

None of 6 foot 8, Rodman's teammates liked the fact that Dennis could just not seem to keep away from the booze.

Teammate Jesse James, husband of actress Sandra Bullock and a motorcyle builder who has personally built close to one million motorcycles, said that he has never seen a man drink three bottles of Jack Daniels Whiskey in one sitting as Rodman did.

Former Dallas Cowboys running back Herschel Walker, who once scored eight touchdowns in a game against the Pittsburgh Steelers, said that he once witnessed D.R. at an IHOP eat a plate of 10 pancakes and then wash them down with a six-pack of Coors Light.

personally built a million motorcycles? 8 TDs in a game? where'd you get this info?
[/nofun]

Maybe not 8 td but he did have a rushing ,receiving,kick return td in one game all of tem were for 90 + yards

[starquest52]

Up. One of the best threads I've read here in RealGm.

+1

[branny]

This is a great thread.