OT: Sticky Situation

[Courtside Cynic]

I somehow stumbled to this thread and have been immersed in it for about an hour. First off just to reiterate a text message isn't sufficient evidence to convict someone of a crime. Secondly if this crime took place over a year ago there is a law preventing charges of being brought up. I really came into this thread thinking you are either the most masterful troll in the world or you really are struggling where you're at.

Given the information you provided I've managed to come up with where you are and let me know if I'm right or wrong. United Arab Emirates at the University of Sharjah. From what I can tell they are an all mens school, their school banned cell phones and the country banned skype as well as having ties/ scholarship programs in the USA.

If that's right you should indeed give us your name and the names of the party's involved and you will have 20 guys on the horn with the United States Embassy. You realize having that many people call as well as you and your friend telling them what's going on will be far more credible than three adults. Look we're all here to help if you want it man I hope you get this situation figured out. If it takes me to call an embassy for someone I don't know I'll do it because what you're going through is not right.

Looking at the medical school grounds on Google Earth. It is definitely fenced in completely, with very few exit points, that look well monitored. Good Find Logander

[Courtside Cynic]

However, what is interesting is that I thought I read the OP was Orthodox Syriac early on in the thread, whereas I am assuming the university is primarily Muslim. I have clue whatsoever whether this is a conflict of interest; I guess I am just making the assumption that it would.

[Logander]

However, what is interesting is that I thought I read the OP was Orthodox Syriac early on in the thread, whereas I am assuming the university is primarily Muslim. I have clue whatsoever whether this is a conflict of interest; I guess I am just making the assumption that it would.

Could you link that if you found it? That could possibly knock that university off

[Courtside Cynic]

Logander, I think you are right with the University http://www.sharjah.ac.ae/en/about/offices/officesadmin/deanship/Documents/Residence%20By%20laws.pdf

Check out the Residence By-Laws Article 25, section L

"Students are not allowed to be engaged in any act that is inappropriate to a University student conduct. In general, students are not allowed to:

L: Leave the University campus unless prior written approval from parent is obtained, an exit permit issued by the supervisor, and recorded in designated records."

Pretty solid evidence there.

I was just speculating about the religion thing, no backing evidence whatsoever.

[Logander]

Logander, I think you are right with the University http://www.sharjah.ac.ae/en/about/offices/officesadmin/deanship/Documents/Residence%20By%20laws.pdf

Check out the Residence By-Laws Article 25, section L

"Students are not allowed to be engaged in any act that is inappropriate to a University student conduct. In general, students are not allowed to:

L: Leave the University campus unless prior written approval from parent is obtained, an exit permit issued by the supervisor, and recorded in designated records."

Pretty solid evidence there.

I was just speculating about the religion thing, no backing evidence whatsoever.

Nice research, I was researching Orthodox Syriac and apparently it's very popular in the Middle East, especially in Iran ( which a small body of water is between them and United Arab Emirates), so I am not sure how much of a problem that would be considering the closeness between them, but then again it's the Middle East (no offense). However, I would say that last bit of evidence seals the deal for me. Great work man

Edit: Read Article 25 Section O and P. Basically says if you have a camera phone you get expelled and if you use a computer for any reason except studying you could get expelled. Harsh much?

[Courtside Cynic]

One final thought on this before I go to bed, and hopefully the O.P. reads this:

Have a look at the above referenced By-Laws, if they do in fact pertain to your situation. Note that your first violation of these articles results in nothing more than a written warning. If you need to get out to go to the embassy, I imagine they will not stop you at the gate, and if you have to return you won't see grave discipline because of it.

Looks like at worst, you may get suspended from the Dorm and university for a semester, and let's be honest, isn't that better than having to stick around anyways???

[TyrusRose2425]

Co-sign, if you need a bunch of us to make a phone call for you, I'll be willing to do the same. You need to get out of there and I'd worry about getting into that cab with your grandpa.

[TheSuzerain]

I want a Sharjah Sharks basketball jersey.

MnM did you get your passport?

[Mister Ze]

I'm quite concerned about your situation.

I've watched a documentary about a story somewhat similar to your situation- a US citizen was being held hostage in Somalia against her free will. Obviously the circumstances were much different but I think you can follow some of the things that she did to get authorities involved.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54WvqUdMP7w

I understand that you contacted the US embassies and are waiting for a response, this could take anywhere from days to even weeks. You're going to end up communicating back and forth and this will take quite a bit of time.

My advice: Get your friends back home to go to their local police department and provide the cops with evidence you want to leave but aren't able to. Evidence needs to be strong like e-mails, pictures, or a video of you telling your story. I really think this would expedite the process because this way the municipal police department contacted will forward the case to the Feds or appropriate department.

As another poster had said, if you need posters to make phone calls for you, I will gladly offer assistance. Provide us with an update if you can. Good luck, man.

[MalikJoakim24]

I want a Sharjah Sharks basketball jersey.

MnM did you get your passport?

My mom said she will give it on Saturday when she picks me and my amigo up. Currently, I have no clue where the passport is... I think it's at our family friend's house.

Don't worry about ganja. My god, the US embassy has bigger things to worry about than a spliff you smoked last year. (like deporting your insane parents)

I'm not worried about them showing the ganja to the embassy, just about the texts to the local pd in IL when I get back but I'm ready to face anything.

Good luck MnM. I would have gone to the embassy already.

Even if you get back to US your family will still want you in an emotional prison. It is scary to flee immediately but I would make plans to do it within a year. You don't need to rely on biology to have a family. There is a much higher number of people who regret staying with abusive relationships than ones who regret leaving

Yeah, I'm planning to do undergrad + med school then join the USA army as a doctor.

Looks like at worst, you may get suspended from the Dorm and university for a semester, and let's be honest, isn't that better than having to stick around anyways???

Agreed but I've seen them physically stop kids from going out and then they fine them insanely.

Anyways, just one more night (Friday) and on Saturday I'm out of here.

One thing thing that irks me though is that I kept asking where my tickets are / when am I getting them and both my parents reply is we will have discussion first.

[MalikJoakim24]

Screw your dad imo (not as explicit as that but you get what I mean). if you're over 18 you decide what you want to do in life. I mean I don't know where the hell they have torturing schools but yea, I would leave.

It's weird because he said I can make my own decisions and then whwn I tell him OK I have decided to quit, he says I am not emotionally sound & it is not a wise decision.

I think keller61 brings up a key point, they may be your familiy, but they don't seem to really care for your well-being. That's not uncommon, they think they know best, but in reality they don't know ****. And forget they are family, try and get out of that country. No matter what. Do you have any money at all to get out? Really important though is that you don't rely on family to help you. They probably won't. And I'd be very reluctant to travel with your grandfather. Be careful MnM24 be very careful. I keep my fingers crossed that you are out of there soon!

I have 200usd, enough for money to get to the embassy if nded be.

Anyways, once I'm out on the 12th, no way in hell I will ever come back.

[DK-All Day]

That's deep man.

[satyr9]

You will be able to know this better than I, but ask yourself this seriously, are your parents willing to do you physical harm to make you conform to their ideals for your life? Or, are they overprotective and trying very hard to correct what they see as bad behavior?

If it's the former, and that's what some people are assuming and reacting to here, then it's time to go to the embassy by any means necessary - don't meet your parents/guardians, don't go to your friends, don't worry about getting your passport - get to the consulate and **** sleep there and jump up and down and scream and cry and plead and beg until they put you on a plane to the US. That is your only goal. Your life will never be the same, but living on your own in the US is dramatically better than just about anywhere else. Although, it'd be better if you were Scandinavian.

However, a lot of what you say sounds more like the latter; that your parents care about you, have a worldview that you cannot fit into (religious, no substances etc...), but wouldn't knowingly cause you physical harm to make you fit their views. If that's the case, you need to make it clear to them how close you are to abandoning your family in order to leave where you are (but be careful with suicide and the recording stuff. I think it sounds like threats and intimidation and what you need if it's this situation to be convincing is honesty), what you feel your only remaining options are if they don't send you home right now. Make an honest attempt to offer alternate behavior when you return to the US, but don't lie, don't hedge, you need to lay yourself bare and let them see how untenable this situation is for you.

One last option, if you think it's the latter, but you don't think you can get your family to understand, then I suggest forgoing their meeting, get out of the school, go straight to the consulate and have the discussion with them on the phone or in person from there. You want to be a US citizen on US soil if there's any chance you are now truly in an adversarial position to your family. That should make it very clear to them how impossible a situation they've placed you in and may help them open up enough to hear you. Again, in this case, you want to avoid threats and use honesty and try to understand their desires too.

But again, you're really the person in a position to say what's going on here and I think you haven't quite made up your mind which it is and you have to be honest with yourself now. If they're far enough out to lunch that you think they'd be okay with your guardians/grandparents kidnapping you and forcing you to stay in this school as a prisoner, then it's all ****, you're already on your own and it's time to get home naoh.

[Courtside]

MnM...

It is because of your insistence to get your passport and have a ticket home that your family is becoming more worried. They will not give you a ticket home this Saturday and saying "we will discuss" is their way to soothe you until such time as they can visit on Saturday and tell you no. The more you force the issue, the more they will attempt to control you. They will alert school authorities and authorize them to keep you by force (if they have not already). They have managed to manipulate you as a younger man through fear and misunderstanding, but you are becoming a man and need to begin seeing things more clearly. Listen more than you speak. At the moment they have no intention of giving you your passport or flying you home.

When you meet with them Saturday, contain yourself. Do not speak loudly. Do not make demands. Do not agitate them, otherwise you will only reinforce their opinion that you are going through emotional weakness and that the school is the best place for you to be. Even if you somehow get to the consulate in Dubai (there isn't one in Sharjah), they will not just fly you home because you ask. They may assist you to get a new passport, but they will first try to solve the problem with the school and parents locally. It won't be the first time this has happened and your father may be right that he will explain it to them as a problem with a troublesome child.

Whatever you do, do not go to local police. They will always choose the side of social order over what the school and your parents will call a troublesome teenager. You are there because they don't like the western influence that has changed you and will not be eager to bring you back. Authorities will side with your parents and then you will be watched/controlled even more closely. You have to earn their trust in order to achieve any chance of leaving.

Forget about your phone at home. The local PD will not care and will not act on the text messages. They have no time for such small things and it is simply a fear tactic by your father. It is an empty threat.

The last thing you want it to be released back into his custody and now have a diplomatic red flag on your record, which could prevent you from any involvement in the US army later. DO NOT mention these ideas to your parents. Ask them questions about why they want you there. Let them speak and you listen. They treat you like a child if you act like one, but if you behave like a man, you will go a long way to calm them down and regain their trust. It is very possible the only way to be free of this situation is for them to buy you a ticket and willingly have you come to the US. This will not happen if they think you need more time in a disciplined environment.

Soothe them. Tell them they were right, and it has just been a difficult adjustment to such a different place. Tell them that being there has helped you and ask - do not demand or raise your voice - if you can visit the US to spend time with your father, so that you can better understand his wishes for you and that you will gladly return to the foreign school afterwards. Once you are on US soil, your options are many and you will not have to go back. As long as you are in UAE, I am afraid you will be under their control - regardless of your US citizenship and/or 19 years of age.

When they come to pick you up Saturday, I assume they will go to the dean and request a pass for you, or do you do that on your own, but with their verification? If possible, get the pass and have it on your person. If they must enter to pick you up, then the only way to leave is by their car. None of us knows what your grandfather has in mind or is capable of, but I urge you again to be calm and encourage them to speak. Have them tell you what they want, consider it, and agree with most of what they say.

You will have no opportunity to leave if they are agitated and wary of your intentions.

[Logander]

Screw your dad imo (not as explicit as that but you get what I mean). if you're over 18 you decide what you want to do in life. I mean I don't know where the hell they have torturing schools but yea, I would leave.

It's weird because he said I can make my own decisions and then whwn I tell him OK I have decided to quit, he says I am not emotionally sound & it is not a wise decision.

I think keller61 brings up a key point, they may be your familiy, but they don't seem to really care for your well-being. That's not uncommon, they think they know best, but in reality they don't know ****. And forget they are family, try and get out of that country. No matter what. Do you have any money at all to get out? Really important though is that you don't rely on family to help you. They probably won't. And I'd be very reluctant to travel with your grandfather. Be careful MnM24 be very careful. I keep my fingers crossed that you are out of there soon!

I have 200usd, enough for money to get to the embassy if nded be.

Anyways, once I'm out on the 12th, no way in hell I will ever come back.

Hey so MnM did I actually get the right place you are at? Let us know if there's anything we can do to help.

[fleet]

Temporary lock