Mess with the rotation, Ned, not the lineup
Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 3:25 am
Dear Ned Yost, Manager of the Milwaukee Brewers Baseball Club,
For the last 5 or so years of your tenure as manager, I believe the longest you have held a consistent batting order is approximately 4 games long. So, instead of staying with a very nice looking lineup that worked in Houston, after losing the final game of a series, you pull out your pictures of the members of the Milwaukee Brewers Baseball Club, pin them onto the wall, and hurl darts at them while blindfolded to finagle a revolutionary lineup that only Christ himself has seen.
Me-he-heanwhile, the starting rotation has 2 vast underachievers that continue to pitch every 5 days, and one could argue that it contains 2 more. But jee willy wilikers, Ned, why on Earth would you ever want to touch that?!?!?! You have a pitcher named Chris Capuano, who might be the fittest guy on the team (Lord knows Daron Sutton reminded we fans of that every time he pitched), but hasn't won a game for the Milwaukee Brewers Baseball Club since Haley's Comet passed above us all, warning us of the impending doom that lie ahead. Actually, I believe it was the beginning of May since he last won, and now has a franchise record streak of games in which he has pitched in where the Brewers have lost. But let's not break that streak, shall we, he's gotta be famous for somethin'?!?!?!
Behind Door #2 is Claudio Vargas, who at the beginning of the season, I was a fan of. He seemed to wiggle himself off of a lot of hooks, get that big strikeout, etc. And it shows, the Brewers are something like 435-6 when he pitches in games. But now, Claudio has exploded like Mount Vesuvius, unleashing his wrath of 3-run home runs and 2 out line drive doubles upon us all, and the Brewers are losing.
Behind Door #3 is Manny Parra, a young lefty who has shown some phenomenal command and poise when he is put on the mound. However, Parra will have to wait until the rapture comes to get his spot in the starting rotation, because we fans all know how you (Ned Yost, manager), Capuano, and Vargas are all God-hating minions of Lucifer, and Jeff Suppan will become ruler of baseball.
Behind all my witty sarcasm is this, REPLACE ONE OF THEM WITH PARRA, NED. It's pretty obvious now that when either of those two are on the mound, the Brewers will play from behind. But hey, I'm just a forum geek who knows nothing about baseball.
Sincerely,
WEFFPIM
Ambassador of Brewers' Nation
P.S.: Stop with the Retro stuff, for Chrissakes. I'm sure the Cardinals were so please to hear that the losing team in the 1982 World Series would be celebrating when they won it all. Nnnn, der.
For the last 5 or so years of your tenure as manager, I believe the longest you have held a consistent batting order is approximately 4 games long. So, instead of staying with a very nice looking lineup that worked in Houston, after losing the final game of a series, you pull out your pictures of the members of the Milwaukee Brewers Baseball Club, pin them onto the wall, and hurl darts at them while blindfolded to finagle a revolutionary lineup that only Christ himself has seen.
Me-he-heanwhile, the starting rotation has 2 vast underachievers that continue to pitch every 5 days, and one could argue that it contains 2 more. But jee willy wilikers, Ned, why on Earth would you ever want to touch that?!?!?! You have a pitcher named Chris Capuano, who might be the fittest guy on the team (Lord knows Daron Sutton reminded we fans of that every time he pitched), but hasn't won a game for the Milwaukee Brewers Baseball Club since Haley's Comet passed above us all, warning us of the impending doom that lie ahead. Actually, I believe it was the beginning of May since he last won, and now has a franchise record streak of games in which he has pitched in where the Brewers have lost. But let's not break that streak, shall we, he's gotta be famous for somethin'?!?!?!
Behind Door #2 is Claudio Vargas, who at the beginning of the season, I was a fan of. He seemed to wiggle himself off of a lot of hooks, get that big strikeout, etc. And it shows, the Brewers are something like 435-6 when he pitches in games. But now, Claudio has exploded like Mount Vesuvius, unleashing his wrath of 3-run home runs and 2 out line drive doubles upon us all, and the Brewers are losing.
Behind Door #3 is Manny Parra, a young lefty who has shown some phenomenal command and poise when he is put on the mound. However, Parra will have to wait until the rapture comes to get his spot in the starting rotation, because we fans all know how you (Ned Yost, manager), Capuano, and Vargas are all God-hating minions of Lucifer, and Jeff Suppan will become ruler of baseball.
Behind all my witty sarcasm is this, REPLACE ONE OF THEM WITH PARRA, NED. It's pretty obvious now that when either of those two are on the mound, the Brewers will play from behind. But hey, I'm just a forum geek who knows nothing about baseball.
Sincerely,
WEFFPIM
Ambassador of Brewers' Nation
P.S.: Stop with the Retro stuff, for Chrissakes. I'm sure the Cardinals were so please to hear that the losing team in the 1982 World Series would be celebrating when they won it all. Nnnn, der.
