After so much pain and frustration, Dustin McGowan has found a certain serenity.
Nearly three years have passed since he could do his job. He still can't be certain that he will do it again, but the old anxiety is gone. He is in no hurry.
"In my mind, I don't want a timeline," McGowan said Friday. "I know this is basically my last chance to get right, and I want to do it the right way and make sure things go smoothly."
Once a promising pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, McGowan has not appeared in a game since July 2008, when shoulder pain drove him from the Rogers Centre mound. Since then he has endured three surgeries, two on his shoulder and one on his knee.
This is his last chance, he says, because if the familiar pain sears through his right shoulder again, he will not endure another surgery.
On Friday morning, as the Jays held their first full-squad workout of spring training, McGowan pitched from a bullpen mound for the third time this spring. His delivery was smooth. He estimated his velocity at 80 per cent.
Afterward, he was smiling.
"Still a long way to go," he said, "but everything felt good."
He felt that way last spring, too, and threw so effectively that some teammates who faced him in practice felt he might win a spot in the starting rotation. Then the pain returned. In June he underwent surgery to fix "a significant tear" in his rotator cuff.
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