Blue Jays making my life bearable - Helping men everywhere
Posted: Wed May 6, 2009 7:30 pm
If not for the fantastic start the Blue Jays have gotten off to, I would have to say my life would be much more miserable. I was clinging on for dear life the whole year while the Raptors and Leafs disappointed me and many others. What do you mean clinging on for life cxt?
Allow me to explain. After dreadful seasons by both of those teams, my girlfriend was becoming infuriated with my inability to shut off the game. I can't really blame her. Every night there was a piss poor **** ass team playing, and I still couldn't seperate myself. MANY OF US HAVE THIS PROBLEM, the Raptors in particular toyed with our emotions this year.
Day in and day out, I'd have to come up with a good story line or plot or some reason that I just HAD to see this game. Yes yes, this was wearing thin on Kelly. If you could only imagine the traumatic TV watching experiences I had to endure to get a pass when it came to this issue, you would probably have already emptied your tissue box by now.
It's true, for the first time in my life, I participated in the likes of "Dancing with the stars" , "America's Next Top Model" , "American Idol" .... and unfortunately... "Jon And Kate Plus 8"
Any of you out there with a penis, know what I was going through. It was almost like a different form of castration. My nuts were hanging in the balance. I had to explain to my brother, that I was indeed hetero. It's basically an experience in my life that I would much rather have forgotten already. I am here today to remind you why we are Blue Jays fans, and why I have not forgotten.
The Blue Jays have injected life into Toronto sports again, which is perfect timing considering that they are on almost every night. With the hot start they've gotten off to, and the exciting games they've been a part of, and of course the high powered offense they are toting, even KELLY, my lovely girlfriend has taken a slight interest. Realistically, the offense, the close games, the amazing finishes, the countless walk off victories, the loud sound of the fog horn going off quite frequently. All of these things have been instrumental in selling the game to Kelly.
For this, I want to thank you Blue Jays. I want you to know that your play on the field and your personalities off the field have helped to define a winner thus far. You have single handedly made my life bearable. I cannot begin to imagine what it would be like if you were 8 and 21 like many "experts" predicted. I would probably be ending every post with a giant FML (copyright choc).
However, you have provided one of the best starts to a summer in recent memory. Your play is doing the talking, my girlfriend is on the band wagon, and best of all. I haven't watched a crappy episode of some vagina driven reality TV series in over 3 weeks.
To sum it up, when Kelly affectionately referred to Vernon as "V-Dub" 3 nights ago, I had to work really hard to prevent a tear from streaming from my eye. And not only that.... when Lyle stepped up to the plate and she yelled out "o-fer-bay" ... I nearly fainted. Best of all, when an untelevised game was on yesterday that I couldn't watch... I got one hell of a special phone call right around 3:30 pm. It was Kelly. "Baby, Lindy in the Ruff just went yard! We are winning!" ..... yes... my life is complete. Not only is she on the horse watching the jays with me, but she actually has taken interest. And yes, we do call Adam Lind... Lindy in the Ruff
I just want to thank you Blue Jays, for giving me my balls back. For allowing me to enjoy a summer. For giving me a girlfriend that actually asks what time the game starts.
You have done this city a service,
Sincerely,
- Dave "cxt"
Allow me to explain. After dreadful seasons by both of those teams, my girlfriend was becoming infuriated with my inability to shut off the game. I can't really blame her. Every night there was a piss poor **** ass team playing, and I still couldn't seperate myself. MANY OF US HAVE THIS PROBLEM, the Raptors in particular toyed with our emotions this year.
Day in and day out, I'd have to come up with a good story line or plot or some reason that I just HAD to see this game. Yes yes, this was wearing thin on Kelly. If you could only imagine the traumatic TV watching experiences I had to endure to get a pass when it came to this issue, you would probably have already emptied your tissue box by now.
It's true, for the first time in my life, I participated in the likes of "Dancing with the stars" , "America's Next Top Model" , "American Idol" .... and unfortunately... "Jon And Kate Plus 8"
Any of you out there with a penis, know what I was going through. It was almost like a different form of castration. My nuts were hanging in the balance. I had to explain to my brother, that I was indeed hetero. It's basically an experience in my life that I would much rather have forgotten already. I am here today to remind you why we are Blue Jays fans, and why I have not forgotten.
The Blue Jays have injected life into Toronto sports again, which is perfect timing considering that they are on almost every night. With the hot start they've gotten off to, and the exciting games they've been a part of, and of course the high powered offense they are toting, even KELLY, my lovely girlfriend has taken a slight interest. Realistically, the offense, the close games, the amazing finishes, the countless walk off victories, the loud sound of the fog horn going off quite frequently. All of these things have been instrumental in selling the game to Kelly.
For this, I want to thank you Blue Jays. I want you to know that your play on the field and your personalities off the field have helped to define a winner thus far. You have single handedly made my life bearable. I cannot begin to imagine what it would be like if you were 8 and 21 like many "experts" predicted. I would probably be ending every post with a giant FML (copyright choc).
However, you have provided one of the best starts to a summer in recent memory. Your play is doing the talking, my girlfriend is on the band wagon, and best of all. I haven't watched a crappy episode of some vagina driven reality TV series in over 3 weeks.
To sum it up, when Kelly affectionately referred to Vernon as "V-Dub" 3 nights ago, I had to work really hard to prevent a tear from streaming from my eye. And not only that.... when Lyle stepped up to the plate and she yelled out "o-fer-bay" ... I nearly fainted. Best of all, when an untelevised game was on yesterday that I couldn't watch... I got one hell of a special phone call right around 3:30 pm. It was Kelly. "Baby, Lindy in the Ruff just went yard! We are winning!" ..... yes... my life is complete. Not only is she on the horse watching the jays with me, but she actually has taken interest. And yes, we do call Adam Lind... Lindy in the Ruff
I just want to thank you Blue Jays, for giving me my balls back. For allowing me to enjoy a summer. For giving me a girlfriend that actually asks what time the game starts.
You have done this city a service,
Sincerely,
- Dave "cxt"
haha.