All hail Mike Tanier
Tired of the same old Thanksgiving celebration? Liven it up with the Brett Favre Turkey Shooter Game! The rules are easy. Just sit by the television with a big plate of turkey and fixings, and get ready to chow down.
Every time Favre is mentioned when he isn't on the field, nibble some white meat.
Every time he is referred to by his age (38), take a bite of dark meat.
Every time he is called a "grizzled veteran" or a "gunslinger," drink a shot of gravy. Two shots for "battle-hardened general."
If the television crew flashes a graphic showing all of the quarterbacks who played for the Lions during Favre's tenure in Green Bay, eat one entire mashed potato.
If Mike McMahon, Scott Mitchell, or Gus Frerotte is specifically mentioned while that graphic is displayed, slurp down a whole can of cranberry sauce.
If you ingest more than 4,000 calories and are still conscious by the final gun, you win.
Texans at Browns: The Browns have great receivers, a surprisingly effective offensive line and one of the most dangerous return men in the NFL in Josh Cribbs. Throw in their Pinball Wizard kicker, Phil Dawson, and they're a legitimate wild card contender. Look for Browns Stadium to rock on Sunday, and prepare for lots of fireworks from Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow. The Browns won't slip against the Texans. The end.
NFL officiating chief Mike Pereira: We need to take another look at this preview.
Rundown: What? No fair. Rundown is non-reviewable.
Pereira: I'm not reviewing it. I'm just, you know, having another little glance at it. Let me just put these headphones on and peek at the JumboVision.
Rundown: You can't do that. Sure, you might make a more accurate call, but it's a rule violation. You are the guys who dish out 15-yard penalties whenever someone smiles too gleefully after a touchdown. You are letter-of-the-law enforcers. You can't make up new rules as you go along.
Pereira: (fingers in ears) I'm not listening. La-la-la-la-la. Anyway. After further discussion which was not aided by technology in any way, I have decided to reverse this Rundown. You neglected to mention that the Texans, like the Browns, are a surprise team. You didn't mention the impact of Andre Johnson's return on their offense. And you used lots of clich