What did God say? (Jokes Thread)

Post #1 » by **The-Insider** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:29 am

God asks Peyton Manning first: "What do you believe?" Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans."

God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, "What do you believe?" Tony says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields."

God is greatly moved by Tony's sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Tom Brady: "And you, Tom, what do you believe?"

Tom replies, "I believe you're in my seat."

Monkeyfeng06 · Post #2 » by **Monkeyfeng06** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:32 am

VinnyTheMick · Post #3 » by **VinnyTheMick** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:34 am

Good talk.

WEFFPIM · Post #4 » by **WEFFPIM** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:35 am

...and then I found $5

greenbeans · Post #5 » by **greenbeans** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:38 am

why would Bill Belichick be talkin to Romo, Manning and Brady?? i dont get it

SportsWorld · Post #6 » by **SportsWorld** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 1:04 am

greenbeans wrote:why would Bill Belichick be talkin to Romo, Manning and Brady?? i dont get it

He lost his video camera obviously.

Post #7 » by **Da Schwab** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 1:06 am

I actually like that joke. I chortled shortly after reading it.

greenbeans · Post #8 » by **greenbeans** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 1:13 am

SportsWorld wrote:-= original quote snipped =-

He lost his video camera obviously.

ohhhh, so THATS what Manning and Romo do after they choke in the playoffs, they work at Circuit City. . .

WEFFPIM · Post #9 » by **WEFFPIM** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 3:27 am

greenbeans wrote:ohhhh, so THATS what Manning and Romo do after they choke in the playoffs, they work at Circuit City. . .

Well, unless they're lying, most US Olympians work at Home Depot, so I wouldn't rule it out.

AGGiE · Post #10 » by **AGGiE** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 3:30 am

har har har

LAKESHOW · Post #11 » by **LAKESHOW** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 5:32 am

with tom brady injured, HE SAID . . . matt cassel should start.

Post #12 » by **studcrackers** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 5:59 am

so lame jokes like this is how you become a mod

swede · Post #13 » by **swede** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 6:50 am

That is about as funny as prostate cancer.

Post #14 » by **J.Kim** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 10:10 am

studcrackers wrote:so lame jokes like this is how you become a mod

How do you think I got to this seat.

Oh, and gunnabdaschwab... What kind of High Schooler chortles? You need to be at least 50 to "Chortle".... Did you repeat 12th Grade 48 times?

(See how my second point relates directly back to my first point?)

I feel as if I should lock this thread... but I kind of did like the joke...

hermes · Post #15 » by **hermes** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 4:56 pm

ZING!
well it wasn't that bad of a joke

Post #16 » by **Basketball Jesus** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 5:14 pm

treiz · Post #17 » by **treiz** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 6:38 pm

That OP joke wasn't actually that bad.

Post #18 » by **The-Insider** » Wed Oct 7, 2009 11:56 pm

Leinart’s on the move…Out of his house. According to the Arizona Republic…Leinart’s Ahwatukee mansion can…

be yours, if you can swing the $2.4 million price tag.

The Tuscan-style estate has six bedrooms, 6.5 baths, 9-foot flat ceilings, and a game room. The kitchen features Viking appliances and two sub-zero refrigerators.

Note to the listing agent. If you need to keep Leinart and his buddies out of the home during showings, just paint a goal line around the home. They won’t be able to cross that.

High 5 · Post #19 » by **High 5** » Thu Oct 8, 2009 5:40 am

Basketball Jesus wrote:It’s a bit recycled, but still a goodie:

What will Eli Manning do after winning the Super Bowl?

Turn the Playstation off.

D'oh!

VinnyTheMick · Post #20 » by **VinnyTheMick** » Thu Oct 8, 2009 11:03 pm

Basketball Jesus wrote:It’s a bit recycled, but still a goodie:

What will Eli Manning do after winning the Super Bowl?

Turn the Playstation off.

What makes this joke even funnier is, I believe you are a Patriots fan.

:lol: