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Toaster Strudel Players By: Fantasy Football Dude
Like every morning, I was going through my routine of getting ready for the day which includes: showering, packing lunch, getting the kids dressed, and “making” breakfast. Breakfast for me is usually cereal in a bowl, so you can imagine my excitement when I had discovered the Toaster Strudels my wife bought and placed in the freezer. I placed two in the toaster and I put the two small frosting packs on top edge of the toaster- a trick I learned from my dad growing up. This way the frosting warms up. Once the strudels pop up, I rapidly pull them out with my fingers and drop them on the plate before I burn myself. Then, I begin to slowly squeeze every bit of frosting out onto that strudel, but in no particular pattern as I am not creative or artistic enough to make even a simple shape. As I take a bite of that first Toaster Strudel, anticipating and ready for its deliciousness to explode all over my tastebuds… the middle is cold. Damn it. All that potential wasted, and just another cold breakfast to start the day. Similar to a cold Toaster Strudel- in only the second week of the regular season we are left with several “Toaster Strudel Players”. Players who appear ready to have a great season, whether it be a new offensive system, new team, or just another year under their belt, but for whatever reason they just become a tantalizing prospect. Your fantasy version of them is a figment of your imagination- and the true results are left in your starting lineup. Bringing your team down week by week, and your heart with it. Through two weeks the players below are all those that could have been, and your perception of them still lingers somewhere between reality and aspiration.
Brandin Cooks
In his first year Cooks played ten games, and had three touchdowns on 53 receptions for 550 yards. If we extrapolate this data to a full season- which is completely attainable and reasonable, Cooks ends up with 84 receptions for 880 yards and five touchdowns. This adds up to a total of 202 points in points per reception (PPR) formats. While some individuals fantasy season is over by week 13, the points per game would remain the same. In a PPR league last year, this puts Cooks at 25th in scoring among all wide receivers. Right behind A.J. Green and tied with Jordan Matthews. As of two weeks, according to Top Dog Stats, Brandin is averaging 4.5 receptions a game, 55.5 yards a game, and 10.1 fantasy points per game. In 17 games, this adds up to 76 receptions for 935 yards and 170 fantasy points total. Thirty-two less total points. Of course, projecting a player's output based on the previous year is never a reliable or valid scoring method, but there are more tell tale signs. For example, on an offense that lost Jimmy Graham who totaled 89 receptions and 10 touchdowns on the season, we were left to believe Cooks would produce like a wide receiver one. Yet, this is simply not the case. While Cooks did face one of the better cornerbacks, Patrick Peterson, in his first game- his second game against the Tampa Bay Bucs leaves him with no excuses. The Saints offensive line yielded four sacks, Drew Brees injured his shoulder, and Cooks has one red zone target in two games. Brandin still has time to turn it around, but the outlook is dim. It does not help they play the Carolina Panthers next week who have a stout cornerback in Josh Norman.
Andre Johnson
Andre Johnson left the Houston Texans to join the Indianapolis Colts, whose offense is pegged to be one of the best in the leagues. According to ESPN the Colts are ranked 22nd in total offensive yards and are only averaging 10.5 points per game. This could mostly be due to the fact that they faced two of the toughest defenses. Regardless, the offense is not what worries me, Andre Johnson and his diminishing skill set is the reason people are losing fantasy games. Through two weeks, Johnson is averaging 8.5 targets a game, 3.5 receptions a game, and 6.1 fantasy points a game (Top Dog Stats). It really has been a disaster, specifically because his average draft position, according to Fantasypros, was in the beginning of the 4th round, next to guys like Amari Cooper and Golden Tate. When you watch Johnson it becomes clear, at age 34 he is struggling to separate from opposing defenses and no longer has the speed needed to. On top of that, the emergence of Donte Moncrief could result in less targets thrown Johnsons way. Which is terrifying, considering he is only hauling in 3.5 receptions on 8.5 targets a game. What to do with Johnson? Well bench him. Once you do that, try to trade him for a prospect with a higher ceiling. Somebody like Kendall Wright or Stevie Johnson. But do not be surprised if no one wants this cold Toaster Strudel.
Demarco Murray
Where to begin? Oh, how about the 2014 season when Demarco lead the league in rushing with 1,845 yards- 526 more than anyone else. If that was not enough to convince you, he also had 13 touchdowns. He was the best fantasy running back last year! This year…wait for it... he is has 21 rushes for 11 yards (0.5 average) and two touchdowns. This is not a joke. Last years best fantasy running back is averaging 0.5 yards per carry, and is only relevant because he managed to score twice in the first game,and has had some decent yardage through the air. If you watched the Eagles in either of their games, you will notice Murray is getting met in the backfield. He literally has no chance to break a big play or even gain positive yardage for the most part. The Eagles offensive line as well as almost every other position has been playing like crap. According to Pro Football Focus, all these players earned a negative grade: Brent Celek, Sam Bradford, Zach Ertz, Jordan Matthews, Jason Peters, Jason Kelce, and Riley Cooper. It truly is baffling how bad this offense has been. You are welcome to ride it out, but it is doubtful Murray can keep producing enough touchdowns to stay relevant. Especially, with the offense as a whole being terrible; not just one or two key players.
Lamar Miller
In his first game against Washington, Miller rushed 13 times for 53 yards and had one receptions for 22 yards.Fairly solid, but in his second game Lamar tweaked his ankle and left with a statline of ten rushes for 14 yards and five receptions for 28 yards. Obviously that stats are not good, but this is something you can live with. The problem is Bill Lazor (offensive coordinator) has no idea how to utilize Miller or the offense in general. There is absolutely no reason Miller should be struggling this much. When Miller does get some looks, he is not doing anything with them either. For example, through two games he only has three red zone carries and nothing to show for it (Top Dog Stats). One might even question the amount of effort Miller is giving. Miller is not someone you wanna trade. The Dolphins still have time to get their act together, but it is worrisome how little he had produced and how bad the Dolphins offense has looked.
Sam Bradford
Before the season started Bradford's value skyrocketed, and it made sense. If Mark Sanchez could produce in this Chip Kelly Offense, then Bradford should too. A lot of this was based on gameflow, but nobody could predict how much influence the absence of Jeremy Maclin (wide receiver), Evan Mathis (guard), and Todd Herreman (guard) could have. Bradford’s play has been poor, and with good reason. In two games Sam has four interceptions, is completing 66.3% of his passes (mostly dump offs), and is averaging 12.7 fantasy points per game (Top Dog Stats). As stated above, not only has offensive line play been bad, but just about every other position too. Bradford’s ceiling is glass, and much lower than expected.
Drew Brees
Week two against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Drew was under throwing his targets and throwing into double coverage. To put this into perspective, his pass completion percentage is 62.8% and he has not had a percentage that low since his first three years in the league with the Chargers. In ESPN standard scoring Brees is 17th among quarterbacks, right behind Blake Bortles and Jameis Winston. It is a small sample size, but the struggle is real. In the first game he had 16 points and in the second had 12 points. His offensive line yielded four sacks the last game and he injured his rotator cuff on a sack. His status is in doubt for Sunday, but probably not a start against a tough Carolina Panther defense. For now, this is one cold Toaster Strudel.

[MadNESS]

This... Was an awesome read lol