
vs.

Milwaukee Brewers (25-12; 1st in NL Central)
vs.
Philadelphia Phillies (17-20; 3rd in NL East)
Season Series: Nothing yet, fart faces
Location

Citizens Bank Park
TV: FSN Wisconsin
Radio: 620 WTMJ
Pitching Matchup
MIL: RHP Dave "Better than Dessens" Bush (3-3, 5.73 ERA)
vs.
PHI: LHP Jamie "BRING ME MY GERITOL, SONNY" Moyer (4-2, 3.00 ERA)
Projected Lineups
MIL-WAU-KEE! MIL-WAU-KEE!
1. 2B Rickie Weeks
2. SS J.J. "Makes Me" Hardy
3. 1B Prince "Fatter Than a Football" Fielder
4. CF Bill Hall
5. C Erik Estrada
6. LF Crunch N' Mench
7. RF Corey Hart
8. 3B Not Ryan Braun-anino
9. P Dave "Better than Counsell" Bush
Philadelphia Phillies
1. SS Jimmy Rollins
2. RF Shane Victorino
3. CF Aaron Rowand
4. 2B Chase Utley
5. LF Pat Burrell
6. 1B Wes Helms
7. 3B Abraham Nunez
8. C Rod Barajas
9. P Jamie Moyer
And, drumroll please......
The Glorious Return of WEFFPIM'S TIDBITS!!!!!
-The most exciting thing heading into this series is, of course, the Brewers being able to see the Phillie Phanatic. That guy is SAHWEET. He looks like a green anteater on steroids and rides a 4-wheeler around likes he's eluding a fire.......and this just in......there's actually a game tonight....so......yay.
-If you look real close, you can see that the Brewers have the best winning percentage in baseball. Behind the Roger Clemens story, the Red Sox success, the failure of the Yankees and the Cubs, the Mets doing exactly what they've been expected to do, the Golden State Warriors, Terrell Owens doing nothing, Brett Favre taking a dump, the NHL actually holding playoffs, the European Soccer League doing something, Ann Coulter, glaciers melting somewhere on this doomed planet, a comet that may come within 5 million miles of earth in the next 15 years, and the upcoming rature, the Brewers have been recognized for the best record in baseball by the media.
-I'm taking a breather after the last tidbit, you compensate by laughing a lot.
-Ever seen the remake of War of the Worlds? OK, picture what happens to people when that laser beam thing hits them, and apply to that when Jamie Moyer gets hit by a line drive in the 5th inning.
-Chase Utley has been known as the dirtiest player in the league, but that is not an excuse for him to start catapulting children in a brick wall.
-In honor of Shrek the Third coming out on Friday, Kevin Mench will dye himself green because, face it, he's already halfway there.
-Dave Bush sucks.
That's all for today, here's to doing more tomorrow.
Good Luck, Dave, Lord knows you'll need it...and Go Brewers