The Official 2011 Rockets Trade Drinking Game
Posted: Sun Jan 2, 2011 2:45 am
Last year I started the Official McGrady Trade Drinking Game and it was a thunderous success. By my unofficial count, I believe that I managed to kill off at least 87% of the participants due to alcohol poisoning or alcohol related DSIPS (Dumb S*** In Public Stunts). That made me happy.
However...13% of you survived. This infuriates me to no end. Some of you are like cockroaches...with David Hassellhoff's liver.
So I've decided to finish the rest of you off. After reading a few trades on the trade board I realized that some of the familiar patterns are emerging that led to the McGrady game. Things are being said and repeated so often that people are believing them...people are reading wiretap articles and thinking that they are gospel...they are basing their thoughts - and their trade ideas - off of those misconceptions.
But...you know ol' Mr. E - why get mad about it when we can get drunk over it??? Here's the rules for the drinking game:
First off - this game is played when you see a trade proposal either on the trade board; or if you have cajones you can go to other boards and read their thoughts on our team. BEAR IN MIND - the Official 2011 Rockets Trade Drinking Game does not condone trolling other forums. Do not use the Official 2011 Rockets Trade Drinking Game as an excuse to go be a horse's ass on another forum. The Official 2011 Rockets Trade Drinking Game does not condone the Official Rockets Trade Drinking Game to be used like that; and the Official Rockets Trade Drinking Game will agree to stop referring to itself in the third person if you do not do that.
NO TROLLING OTHER FORUMS!
Now...onto the rules. As a future benevolent dictator, I will once again allow you all to participate in your own doom. Anyone may suggest rules that can be added to the Drinking Game, and if they are seconded and approved by the super-secret shadow committee then they'll be added. Each proposed rule must have an Action and a Consequence (usually just taking a drink).
note - a "drink" is one regular drink of a standard beverage
I'll get us started with this with these five rules. Odds are it will be enough to destroy most of you; but you've proven to be a resiliant bunch, so I'll keep it open.
RULE 1) If someone proposes a trade and says that Houston is having a "fire sale," then you must take a drink.
RULE 2) If someone proposes a trade with "salary cap relief" as the draw for Houston, then you must take a drink.
RULE 3) If someone proposing a trade refers to Martin, Scola or Lowry as "bad contracts," then you must take a drink.
RULE 4) If someone proposing a trade wants one of our key players for a "project big man," then you must take a drink.
RULE 5) If someone proposing a trade refers to every player in the deal by their last name except for Yao (whom they refer to as Ming), then you must finish your current drink, pour another and take a drink of that one (because for God's sake, he's been in the League since 2002 - how is that mistake still made???
)
RULE 6) Any time a Texans fan says that we should pick up Vince Young as a backup QB, then you must take a drink
RULE 7) Any time Chuck Hayes is included in a deal as an afterthought or "filler," then you must take a drink.
RULE 8) Every proposal that includes Yao getting traded for a mediocre player with the tagline "Yao's injured so he won't contribute anything. Dalembert is better than nothing." then you must take a drink.
I want to thank all of you for participating in advance. I look forward to hearing the rules you all wish to add. Thank you for helping destroy you once and for all.
However...13% of you survived. This infuriates me to no end. Some of you are like cockroaches...with David Hassellhoff's liver.
So I've decided to finish the rest of you off. After reading a few trades on the trade board I realized that some of the familiar patterns are emerging that led to the McGrady game. Things are being said and repeated so often that people are believing them...people are reading wiretap articles and thinking that they are gospel...they are basing their thoughts - and their trade ideas - off of those misconceptions.
But...you know ol' Mr. E - why get mad about it when we can get drunk over it??? Here's the rules for the drinking game:
First off - this game is played when you see a trade proposal either on the trade board; or if you have cajones you can go to other boards and read their thoughts on our team. BEAR IN MIND - the Official 2011 Rockets Trade Drinking Game does not condone trolling other forums. Do not use the Official 2011 Rockets Trade Drinking Game as an excuse to go be a horse's ass on another forum. The Official 2011 Rockets Trade Drinking Game does not condone the Official Rockets Trade Drinking Game to be used like that; and the Official Rockets Trade Drinking Game will agree to stop referring to itself in the third person if you do not do that.
NO TROLLING OTHER FORUMS!
Now...onto the rules. As a future benevolent dictator, I will once again allow you all to participate in your own doom. Anyone may suggest rules that can be added to the Drinking Game, and if they are seconded and approved by the super-secret shadow committee then they'll be added. Each proposed rule must have an Action and a Consequence (usually just taking a drink).
note - a "drink" is one regular drink of a standard beverage
I'll get us started with this with these five rules. Odds are it will be enough to destroy most of you; but you've proven to be a resiliant bunch, so I'll keep it open.
RULE 1) If someone proposes a trade and says that Houston is having a "fire sale," then you must take a drink.
RULE 2) If someone proposes a trade with "salary cap relief" as the draw for Houston, then you must take a drink.
RULE 3) If someone proposing a trade refers to Martin, Scola or Lowry as "bad contracts," then you must take a drink.
RULE 4) If someone proposing a trade wants one of our key players for a "project big man," then you must take a drink.
RULE 5) If someone proposing a trade refers to every player in the deal by their last name except for Yao (whom they refer to as Ming), then you must finish your current drink, pour another and take a drink of that one (because for God's sake, he's been in the League since 2002 - how is that mistake still made???
)RULE 6) Any time a Texans fan says that we should pick up Vince Young as a backup QB, then you must take a drink
RULE 7) Any time Chuck Hayes is included in a deal as an afterthought or "filler," then you must take a drink.
RULE 8) Every proposal that includes Yao getting traded for a mediocre player with the tagline "Yao's injured so he won't contribute anything. Dalembert is better than nothing." then you must take a drink.
I want to thank all of you for participating in advance. I look forward to hearing the rules you all wish to add. Thank you for helping destroy you once and for all.
