moofs wrote:Optimism Prime wrote:moofs wrote:See above?
Thanks moofs. Nice to know someone has my back.
No problem. Remember, I was against getting Artest right up till when we got him, easy to understand why someone would still be reluctant in general, and DEFINITELY easy to understand why they'd be against a long term contract.
Here's what it will take for me to really get behind this deal.
-We wheel Artest out onto the court in the Hannibal Lecter mask and a straitjacket before every game. Just as a warning. Maybe sometimes we can mix it up, and put him in a cage. Or, I know--remember the big fight in Gladiator when the lions spring up out of the pits in the ground? Let's install one of those in the Toyota Center! The Jazz come out for warmups, Boozer and Williams are making layup, when OHMIGOD, ARTEST COMES SHOOTING OUT OF A HOLE IN THE GROUND, ROARS MENACINGLY, BITES KIRILENKO IN HALF, MARKS HIS TERRITORY IN FRONT OF THE JAZZ BENCH, and then calmly trots over to our team's basket to do warmups. We've just acquired an animal. Let's play this **** up.
-We assign him a chaperon and bodyguard 24/7. Preferably two bodyguards, each MUCH larger than he is. That way, if it looks like he's about to do something stupid, they can carry him out kicking and screaming. Not to sound too much like the guys on the OTB, but chloroform wouldn't be such a bad idea. He gets that glint in his eye, bam, knock him out and take him back to his room... preferably with padded walls. Remember Bill Simmons' idea of the "Vice President of Common Sense", who would do a reality check for all personnel decisions? Um, yeah, let's hire one for Artest. Is there someone out there both brave and convincing enough to calm Ron-ron down? It's sure as hell not me.
-As I said before... we mark off the first five rows and call it "The Artest Zone". Like Sea World.
-We don't let him speak to the media. Ever. There will be no press conferences. If I were CD, I'd make this deal with him: "You don't speak to the media, I pay your fines. Deal?"
-If we win a championship, then this was, of course, a fantastic move and I've been saying so ever since day one, right?

And I'll see you guys at the victory parade.
Look, from a basketball standpoint, this is a brilliant move. It puts us over the top, we put a volatile player in what seems to be the best situation for him in the league, and we acquire one of (if not THE) best two-way player in the league. I get the talent part of this deal, and it's fantastic. But--I try to look at all sides of things, y'know? And having such a loose cannon... frightens me a bit.
One other thing I'll point out--I find it utterly fascinating how much people on this board jumped to the support of the new guy on the team instead of trying to see what Yao meant. Kind of odd that everyone's first reaction was to defend the guy who's known for being crazy (when all Yao did was bring up the thing Artest is most (in)famous for) than take the side of our level-headed franchise center who's generally known for being TOO NICE. I'm baffled, guys, seriously.