Texans vs. Patriots 1/13/13 Divisional Round

Post #1 » by **Mr. E** » Tue Jan 8, 2013 3:29 am

It has been some season for these Houston Texans.

For 12 weeks this team played 11-1 ball, marching around with the swag of the Heavyweight Champion of the World. And like all Heavyweights they are expected to fight to keep their title. Along came week 14 where the Texans walked into a Heavyweight bout against the New England Patriots - their most fearsome challenger yet - and to put it mildly...they got their asses whomped. Instead of throwing a knockout punch in a statement game they found themselves reeling; barely able to limp into the playoffs.

...but they did make it to the playoffs. They won their first game and now they find themselves face to face with the same Patriots who beat them down 5 weeks ago.

This reminds me of another classic battle between two Heavyweights. One was a proven, but aging champ who was well-respected (even if he did goofy things like wrestle Hulk Hogan in a charity exhibition match). He was known as Rocky. The other was a young, brash, fearsome fighter known as Clubber Lang.

In their first match Rocky was clearly overwhelmed by the ferocity of Clubber Lang (much like the Texans vs. the Patriots). It wasn't pretty: he was beaten down, broken in body and spirit. Oh, and Mickey died. All hope seemed lost...but Rocky picked himself back up. He licked his wounds, he trained hard, he used his embarrassing defeat as motivation and with a little help from Apollo Creed and an 1980s Underrated Blue Collar Band (Survivor), Rocky managed to fight his way back, defeat the man who broke him and reclaim the love of his city and...

no, wait - that's just the plot of the Dark Knight Rises. Sorry - sometimes I get fiction and reality confused.

In reality, Houston will have a serious fight on their hands this weekend. They were thoroughly embarrassed the last time that these teams met. The traditionally disrespectful Boston media has already written them off as "another bye week." Thing is, they can't complain about disrespect. They have to claw and fight for their playoff hopes on the road in Massachusetts, where it is about -45 degrees outside and the city is overrun with penguins and polar bears.

But they can't use the cold as an excuse. They can't use the road as an excuse and they sure as hell can't use their uniforms as an excuse because Rocky abandoned his traditional gold shorts in favor of using Apollo's red, white & blue trunks which are exactly the colors the Texans wear as they face New England!!!

...who also wears red, white & blue. I know. Shut up!

Point is - this Sunday, January 13th, 2013 at 3:30 PM CST the Houston "Rocky Balboa" Texans will face the New England "Clubber Lang" Patriots in the second Divisional Round Game of the AFC playoffs!

Cue the music...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btPJPFnesV4[/youtube]

RaoulDuke79 · Post #2 » by **RaoulDuke79** » Tue Jan 8, 2013 3:43 am

Pretty much the best thread ever, so the only thing I can add is to say I hope the Texans look more like Alabama and much, much less like Notre Dame.

Good talk.

swyftdahoe · Post #3 » by **swyftdahoe** » Tue Jan 8, 2013 3:19 pm

They'll do much better than the last go around but it won't be enough to win.

HTown_TMac · Post #4 » by **HTown_TMac** » Tue Jan 8, 2013 7:21 pm

Pats got very lucky last game..

Pass interference play, The 2 fumbles they recovered basically at the goal line/for a touchdown.. We just need a better performance from our offense, and our defense should play how they are supposed to play. We should be good.

GrapeApe · Post #5 » by **GrapeApe** » Tue Jan 8, 2013 7:27 pm

HTown_TMac wrote:Pats got very lucky last game..

Pass interference play, The 2 fumbles they recovered basically at the goal line/for a touchdown.. We just need a better performance from our offense, and our defense should play how they are supposed to play. We should be good.

When you win 42-14 it's a little more than luck.

If Houston is going to have a chance they have to hit New England first. They don't like that.

zapatasblood · Post #6 » by **zapatasblood** » Tue Jan 8, 2013 11:16 pm

HTown_TMac wrote:Pats got very lucky last game..

Pass interference play, The 2 fumbles they recovered basically at the goal line/for a touchdown.. We just need a better performance from our offense, and our defense should play how they are supposed to play. We should be good.

Pats are the better team and what happen was a snowball effect and the Texans just don't match up well with spread you out teams. Fell behind then they embarrassed themselves. It will not be as bad but the football gods have to let the ball bounce in the Texans favor for them to win

Run Foster Run and score first are the keys along with Grover shutting down Gronk or Aaron

Post #7 » by **Mr. E** » Wed Jan 9, 2013 12:56 am

Do you think that bad weather will favor us or the Patriots more?

Could this be a repeat of the Chicago game?

Post #8 » by **TMU** » Wed Jan 9, 2013 2:21 am

Hard to see the Pats losing this game. Texans D vs. Pats O

Post #9 » by **Slava** » Wed Jan 9, 2013 9:15 pm

JJ Watt!

rockmanslim · Post #10 » by **rockmanslim** » Fri Jan 11, 2013 12:38 pm

unintentional comedy:

http://www.patriots.com/media-center/vi ... e2d211f409

it's almost as if welker is translating for talib

Post #11 » by **Mr. E** » Fri Jan 11, 2013 9:01 pm

Texans with the win this weekend. The team has been too disrespected and the Pats have grown far too cocky.

ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!!!

inquisitive · Post #12 » by **inquisitive** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:55 pm

Our best way to beat the Pats is too keep their offense off the field...we need to not only use Foster, but also Tate...keep the Pats off balance by using those two guys and having both in the backfield for a good # of plays. This gives us a much better chance of winning and eating up the clock. If we only count on Foster which the Pats are keying on already, we are gonna be in trouble.

I hope our pass rush is effective, otherwise, expect a long long game for us...we just need to get by them...im not afraid of the Broncos or Ravens.

Post #13 » by **TMU** » Sun Jan 13, 2013 9:37 pm

Game time.

Post #14 » by **Mr. E** » Mon Jan 14, 2013 1:04 am

Rocky III lied to me...

I'll never trust Hollywood again.

zapatasblood · Post #15 » by **zapatasblood** » Mon Jan 14, 2013 2:05 am

Mr. E wrote:Rocky III lied to me...

I'll never trust Hollywood again.

inquisitive · Post #16 » by **inquisitive** » Mon Jan 14, 2013 4:05 am

Houston didnt have enough on offense and their defense just wasn't good enough along with a poor coach...i do see the Ravens being able to beat the Pats though...in any event, i think the SF 49ers will win the Super Bowl...

Post #17 » by **Slava** » Mon Jan 14, 2013 7:25 am

I literally stopped everything in my life today to watch the game.

Not that I care but what are we gonna do from next Sunday?

I hope the 49ers win too, Kaepernick has been tremendous all season long. That would make it World Series and Super Bowl in the same year for a city.

Good thing he warriors are still only slightly better than average.

inquisitive · Post #18 » by **inquisitive** » Tue Jan 15, 2013 1:11 am

would it be a first sibling superbowl if both harbaughs made it to the superbowl?