CT LVIII: Squat or sit?

[Doormatt]

wow...

so tonight my wife went out and had a 15 beer sampler. In the background a bunch of people I've known a long time were hanging out drinking high end beers. One of which (bruery sucre 16% 5oz beer pour and somehow worth it).
My wife... who is paying attention, says "hey that's not that guys wife right, but his wife is right there"

Turn around and dude is locker room smacking some girls ass like 5x in a row. then he kisses his wife then the other similar looking chick too. Then... there is obviously some negotiation taking place between like 5 parties I had no idea previously were swingers Also one of those parties has just hooked my wife and I up with 300 bucks worth of high end wine event tickets (this does not surprise me because being a broke ass but respected musician generally does come with this exact perk and this is like the 3rd time we've gotten those tickets from them aka the radio station). But... then obnoxious guy who's on 2 girls already asks "hey your friend is the hottest girl in town."
Me, "Ummm my wife? yeah I like to think so"
Most Bro-ass Dr 42 year old possible "oh your wife, perfect"
Me, "uhhh like in a you'll never wake up tomorrow after I pull out my monkey wrench or what do you mean?"
Akward swinger silence... my wife and I both get it and have a relative amount of oh sorry, but no thanks.

Drive across town to my friends gig. My wife and I totally laughing about how that all went down and I start doing the imaginary theoretical lame swinger mating dance to make my wife laugh. *imagine an ostrich and John Travolta combined"

BOOOM a guy appears in my grill between us! but it's the venue owner and he owes me money and I was like "oh F I thought a swinger just swooped in after my mating dance!" and we relaxe, but literally less than ten seconds and a friggin old ass swinger couple is right in my face like some twighlight zone trying to explain why strong relationships are stronger after swinging and how they noticed my "moves"...

At this point I'm a little deeper into beer than eloquence so I pretty much shut up and let my wife try to say no gracefully until I just basically had to say F-off.

What the hell... Is there that many swingers now or was this some freaking holiday?

so you didnt bang someone elses wife im confused

[hermes]

you know what bitches like? money.

as the old axiom states "**** bitches, get money". likely not in that order tho

if it was in that order it would be prostitution wouldn't it?

[Danny Darko]

Spoiler:

wow...

so tonight my wife went out and had a 15 beer sampler. In the background a bunch of people I've known a long time were hanging out drinking high end beers. One of which (bruery sucre 16% 5oz beer pour and somehow worth it).
My wife... who is paying attention, says "hey that's not that guys wife right, but his wife is right there"

Turn around and dude is locker room smacking some girls ass like 5x in a row. then he kisses his wife then the other similar looking chick too. Then... there is obviously some negotiation taking place between like 5 parties I had no idea previously were swingers Also one of those parties has just hooked my wife and I up with 300 bucks worth of high end wine event tickets (this does not surprise me because being a broke ass but respected musician generally does come with this exact perk and this is like the 3rd time we've gotten those tickets from them aka the radio station). But... then obnoxious guy who's on 2 girls already asks "hey your friend is the hottest girl in town."
Me, "Ummm my wife? yeah I like to think so"
Most Bro-ass Dr 42 year old possible "oh your wife, perfect"
Me, "uhhh like in a you'll never wake up tomorrow after I pull out my monkey wrench or what do you mean?"
Akward swinger silence... my wife and I both get it and have a relative amount of oh sorry, but no thanks.

Drive across town to my friends gig. My wife and I totally laughing about how that all went down and I start doing the imaginary theoretical lame swinger mating dance to make my wife laugh. *imagine an ostrich and John Travolta combined"

BOOOM a guy appears in my grill between us! but it's the venue owner and he owes me money and I was like "oh F I thought a swinger just swooped in after my mating dance!" and we relaxe, but literally less than ten seconds and a friggin old ass swinger couple is right in my face like some twighlight zone trying to explain why strong relationships are stronger after swinging and how they noticed my "moves"...

At this point I'm a little deeper into beer than eloquence so I pretty much shut up and let my wife try to say no gracefully until I just basically had to say F-off.

What the hell... Is there that many swingers now or was this some freaking holiday?

so you didnt bang someone elses wife im confused

no way. even if i was into it, my wife would be so much hotter it wouldn't be fair to me.

[ennui]

i bet wives line up to cuckold for DD

[TonyMontana]

you know what bitches like? money.

as the old axiom states "**** bitches, get money". likely not in that order tho

heres how to get laid:

1. Dont be ugly
2. Have money
3. Dont be fat (although if you have already fulfilled #2 this doesnt apply so much)
4. Dont be deperate
5. Talk to girls
6. Profit

like 95% of guys arent getting laid because they either arent talking to girls, or have no confidence, which relates back to not talking to girls. setting standards too high is the third biggest reason.

In the most humble way I have all the six things you have mentioned and I can promise you that sht only works with certain girls. I have no problem meeting and hooking up with women WHATSOEVER but for the past four years that's all its been "HOOK UPS". Nothing more than that.
These days women want security aka money. Nothing more than that. It doesn't matter if you got looks, game, money, fit or anything else for that matter. Its all about how much money are you willing to spend on me. Pay my bills, pay my car loan, buy me purses, take me out dinning. And when you do you get the punanih. No matter how you treat a women with love respect kindness and class. No matter how good looking you are and what car you drive and where you live it still doesn't matter since none of what I mentioned belongs to them.

That's why all I have now are #$%^ buddies until maybe one day that one right women comes along. No commitment no relationships no take me here and there and if one leaves there is another one waiting at the door. I laugh at women that think they are playing you when in reality they are the ones getting played.

Now of course the women I mentioned are women that are 7s and above. Below 7s want to get married they are looking for love and relationship but then again if you have your sht together as a man and you yourself are a 7 and above then you're not willing to settle with a 7 and below women unless that's what you're looking for. But unfortunately these days even girls that are 7 and below like in the 3s and 4s think they are GODs gift to mankind.

BTW sooooooooooo many of my ballin friends (six figures and above) that aren't even decent looking are dating and in relationships with girls that are 7s and below are dumping all their money (paying off car loans, purses, dinner etc) think they are the man yet the minute they decide not to pay that car loan or take that girl out to a nice restaurant then the girls leave them for the next idiot in line and they are stuck with their thumbs up there arse. I have seen so many times over and over happening to the same guys who try to buy their love and their women.

Me on the other hand have no problem since I can tell a women and her intentions a mile away. I have never ever bought a women a drink when I approach them or hook up with them and even then I tell them if they want to buy me a drink (It works like a charm). I have never ever paid for a car loan and the only girl I have ever bought a purse is the women I dated for 6 years.

#$%^ em I work to hard for my money to dump it on a piece of arse when I can hook up with her friend for nothing.

[EArl]

Spoiler:

wow...

so tonight my wife went out and had a 15 beer sampler. In the background a bunch of people I've known a long time were hanging out drinking high end beers. One of which (bruery sucre 16% 5oz beer pour and somehow worth it).
My wife... who is paying attention, says "hey that's not that guys wife right, but his wife is right there"

Turn around and dude is locker room smacking some girls ass like 5x in a row. then he kisses his wife then the other similar looking chick too. Then... there is obviously some negotiation taking place between like 5 parties I had no idea previously were swingers Also one of those parties has just hooked my wife and I up with 300 bucks worth of high end wine event tickets (this does not surprise me because being a broke ass but respected musician generally does come with this exact perk and this is like the 3rd time we've gotten those tickets from them aka the radio station). But... then obnoxious guy who's on 2 girls already asks "hey your friend is the hottest girl in town."
Me, "Ummm my wife? yeah I like to think so"
Most Bro-ass Dr 42 year old possible "oh your wife, perfect"
Me, "uhhh like in a you'll never wake up tomorrow after I pull out my monkey wrench or what do you mean?"
Akward swinger silence... my wife and I both get it and have a relative amount of oh sorry, but no thanks.

Drive across town to my friends gig. My wife and I totally laughing about how that all went down and I start doing the imaginary theoretical lame swinger mating dance to make my wife laugh. *imagine an ostrich and John Travolta combined"

BOOOM a guy appears in my grill between us! but it's the venue owner and he owes me money and I was like "oh F I thought a swinger just swooped in after my mating dance!" and we relaxe, but literally less than ten seconds and a friggin old ass swinger couple is right in my face like some twighlight zone trying to explain why strong relationships are stronger after swinging and how they noticed my "moves"...

At this point I'm a little deeper into beer than eloquence so I pretty much shut up and let my wife try to say no gracefully until I just basically had to say F-off.

What the hell... Is there that many swingers now or was this some freaking holiday?

so you didnt bang someone elses wife im confused

no way. even if i was into it, my wife would be so much hotter it wouldn't be fair to me.

im going to have to see proof before I can make a judgment on this.

[EArl]

you know what bitches like? money.

as the old axiom states "**** bitches, get money". likely not in that order tho

heres how to get laid:

1. Dont be ugly
2. Have money
3. Dont be fat (although if you have already fulfilled #2 this doesnt apply so much)
4. Dont be deperate
5. Talk to girls
6. Profit

like 95% of guys arent getting laid because they either arent talking to girls, or have no confidence, which relates back to not talking to girls. setting standards too high is the third biggest reason.

In the most humble way I have all the six things you have mentioned and I can promise you that sht only works with certain girls. I have no problem meeting and hooking up with women WHATSOEVER but for the past four years that's all its been "HOOK UPS". Nothing more than that.
These days women want security aka money. Nothing more than that. It doesn't matter if you got looks, game, money, fit or anything else for that matter. Its all about how much money are you willing to spend on me. Pay my bills, pay my car loan, buy me purses, take me out dinning. And when you do you get the punanih. No matter how you treat a women with love respect kindness and class. No matter how good looking you are and what car you drive and where you live it still doesn't matter since none of what I mentioned belongs to them.

That's why all I have now are #$%^ buddies until maybe one day that one right women comes along. No commitment no relationships no take me here and there and if one leaves there is another one waiting at the door. I laugh at women that think they are playing you when in reality they are the ones getting played.

Now of course the women I mentioned are women that are 7s and above. Below 7s want to get married they are looking for love and relationship but then again if you have your sht together as a man and you yourself are a 7 and above then you're not willing to settle with a 7 and below women unless that's what you're looking for. But unfortunately these days even girls that are 7 and below like in the 3s and 4s think they are GODs gift to mankind.

BTW sooooooooooo many of my ballin friends (six figures and above) that aren't even decent looking are dating and in relationships with girls that are 7s and below are dumping all their money (paying off car loans, purses, dinner etc) think they are the man yet the minute they decide not to pay that car loan or take that girl out to a nice restaurant then the girls leave them for the next idiot in line and they are stuck with their thumbs up there arse. I have seen so many times over and over happening to the same guys who try to buy their love and their women.

Me on the other hand have no problem since I can tell a women and her intentions a mile away. I have never ever bought a women a drink when I approach them or hook up with them and even then I tell them if they want to buy me a drink (It works like a charm). I have never ever paid for a car loan and the only girl I have ever bought a purse is the women I dated for 6 years.

#$%^ em I work to hard for my money to dump it on a piece of arse when I can hook up with her friend for nothing.

You're going out with the vapid vanity chicks bro. One thing that I hate is stupid chicks. It's a **** turnoff. If some bitch thinks im going to pay for her stuff than she has to be kidding me no matter how good looking she is. I expect my girl to work as hard as I do for my money. Anyways i'm glad I don't have to worry about that stuff anymore.

[Wavy Q]

lmao yall got me fkd up

>2014

>Not having multiple side chicks and 1 bae

>Paying for things for them

>Not getting them to buy you ****

>Loving them

>Wifing Them

[EArl]

and stephano meets his 1 post a page shtick quota. See you on page 76

[ennui]

lmao yall got me fkd up

>2014

>Not having multiple side chicks and 1 bae

>Paying for things for them

>Not getting them to buy you ****

>Loving them

>Wifing Them

#truf #realtalk #desehoesaintloyal

[TonyMontana]

You're going out with the vapid vanity chicks bro. One thing that I hate is stupid chicks. It's a **** turnoff. If some bitch thinks im going to pay for her stuff than she has to be kidding me no matter how good looking she is.

I am. You are absolutely right! But the difference between me and other guys are, I don't pay for the @#$%y like most men do. And I know how to play the game very well. Im the type of guy that dates and hooks up with the girl that the last fool ended up paying for her inplants, cars, purses. Im that guy that is with that women to give her the things that the guy with the money and lifestyle couldn't give and again that's why I said earlier all my women for the past four years have been hookups that usually last 3 to 5 months since like yourself Im not willing to spend my hard working money on them or any other women that wants to date me because of my money or materialistic things I have in my life.

I expect my girl to work as hard as I do for my money.

Haaaa haaa we all do my bradah. You mean like my mom your mom and all the good women who sacrifice their entire lives for their husbands and their kids??

I got news for you my bradah. That's a thing of the past.

Earl you must be in your 20s homie and I don't mean it in a negative way homie. The reason I say this to you is because you probably never dated women who are older than 30. See when I was in my twenties females, noticed I said females and not WOMEN were soooo much easier to come. See women in their 20s and early 30s don't care about sht like I posted. They just want to look for a d23k and a guy they can go out with. But when they start getting in their mid or late 30s and they start thinking. Specially women that were married before. BTW Goes the same for men.
They start seeing the reality of life. And that's I have done my partying and having fun and now its time for me to settle down while I still look good and I have something to offer before I look like sht and I get older. So now they become more selective as to who they date and why they date them. Because now they are running out of time.

So your theory of I want a women who is educated looks pretty has a great job and want her to contribute to our relationship starts fading away. Since if a women who has those qualities is either taken, married or is looking for a six figure G.Q model that can take her away from having to get up to go to work everyday to a big house with a AMG Mercedes for herself, vacations two three four times a year and all the lavish things life can give her by that one man.

So on that note homie. You and all my young brothers that are reading this remember what I posted. If you are under 30. Enjoy your life and have fun and dont get involved in relationships, specially if your relationship isn't going anywhere and have all the fun you can while you are educating yourself and trying to accomplish your goals. Get your life together and make that paper the legit way and find that good women while you are young because after 30 years old unless your ballin with deep pockets and are willing to drop your paycheck on a female its going to be very difficult to find that 7+ women out there that is educated, beautiful, classy, and is willing to be a good oyal wife and a mother to your children in this day and age.

I can promise you that. Specially here in southern Cali where even 7 and below women think the same way. Whats in it for me mentality.

[TonyMontana]

So my buddy sent me this clip to watch. LMAOOOO!!

All I heard was the N word being dropped like189,345,534,374 times and after all this screaming and yelling and pushing yet the only ones throwing blows was the females and a mini me Kevin Hart that basically was hitting everybody he could and at the end I realized that they are actually all related to one and other. LOLLL WTF!!!


[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9P5C4RSkxYI[/youtube]

[TyCobb]

Fake.

[TonyMontana]

Haaa haaaa...... Looks like it. But I figured they didnt throw any blows beacuse they are related.

[TyCobb]

Either way it was still entertaining. I was rolling the whole time.

[TonyMontana]

I don't know Ty. It looks really mang. I barley watched it at first but after I saw it again, it does look like its real.
Mini me Kevin Hart aka CE LOW loll was connecting on his kicks and punches and he did connect on the homie with the man boobs and the dreds pretty good. loll I think it didn't escalate since they were all related to each other except the white girl walking around with the cane. lol

[ennui]

Does pinoy count as asian?

[Sofa King]

Does pinoy count as asian?

Them be Pacific Islanders

[ennui]

Argh matey

Well, i guess that remains uncrossed on the bucket list

[Doormatt]

Wut? Pinoy is phillipino which is obviously Asian...