Post#867 » by Jetset » Wed Jan 25, 2012 7:43 pm
Please forgive me, but I told you so. I predicted long ago that Doormatt would construct gas chambers, incinerators, gulags, and concentration camps. Now that he has, I'd like to express my thoughts on the matter. Instead of focusing on why the only winners in his games are ambulance services and funeral homes, I would like to remind people that ever since he began his quest to alter laws, language, and customs in the service of regulating social relations, he has been denying with his lips what he has been doing with his hands. As an interesting experiment, try to point this out to Doormatt. (You might want to don safety equipment first.) I think you'll find that he has been trying to popularize the narrative that the best way to make a point is with foaming-at-the-mouth rhetoric and letters filled primarily with exclamation points. My fear is that if he's successful at promoting such cockamamy notions then even the man on the Clapham omnibus may agree to let him violate the basic tenets of journalism and scholarship.
As I gaze into my crystal ball, I see that Doormatt's flacks will saddle the economy with crippling debt by the end of the decade. How is it that I knew from the beginning that Doormatt would treat people like the worst types of abhorrent tightwads there are? Am I smarter than everyone else? No, not at all. I'll admit that I'm smarter than Doormatt but that's like saying that I'm smarter than a toad. I knew what Doormatt would do because I realized that some reputed—as opposed to reputable—members of his club quite adamantly claim that Doormatt has been robbed of all he does not possess. I find it rather astonishing that anyone could believe such a thing, but then again, Doormatt wants us to believe that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. How stupid does he think we are? That's the big question. If you knew the answer to that then you'd also know why if they could speak, the birds, snakes, and other creatures who are our Earth brothers and Earth sisters would definitely say that Doormatt doesn't want me to pursue virtue and knowledge. Well, I've never been a very obedient dog so I intend not only to do exactly that but also to acknowledge that Doormatt floats with the tide of arrogant anti-intellectualism, especially when driven by the gravitational pull of philistinism.
Doormatt's claim that everyone who fails to think and act in strict accordance with his requirements is an uncompanionable evildoer is not only an attack on the concept of objectivity but an assault on the human mind. Maybe Doormatt is being manipulated by pushy underachievers, but even so, he is guilty of at least one criminal offense. In addition, Doormatt frequently exhibits less formal criminal behavior such as deliberate and even gleeful cruelty, explosive behavior, and a burning desire to violate values so important to our sense of community. While I feel that he has every right to his flagitious opinions, he wants to use both overt and covert deceptions to twist our entire societal valuation of love and relationships beyond all insanity. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background. It is common knowledge that documents written by Doormatt's factotums typically include the line, "Honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless", in large, 30-point type, as if the size of the font gives weight to the words. In reality, all that that fancy formatting really does is underscore the fact that Doormatt's canards are an icon for the deterioration of the city, for its slow slide into crime, malaise, and filth. For Doormatt's power-hungry plans to succeed, he needs to dumb down our society. An uninformed populace is easier to control and manipulate than an educated populace. When you least expect it, schoolchildren will stop being required to learn the meanings of words like "histomorphologically" and "labyrinthibranchiate". They will be incapable of comprehending that Doormatt can out-reason what I call sniveling barmpots but not anyone else. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now I'll simply summarize by stating that when Doormatt was first found accelerating the natural tendency of civilization to devolve from order to chaos, liberty to tyranny, and virtue to vice, I was scared. I was scared not only for my personal safety; I was scared for the people I love. And now that Doormatt is planning to replace our timeless traditions with his jaundiced ones, I'm downright terrified. To end on a more positive note: We must put our religious and factional differences aside if we are ever to dispense justice.
