Post#88 » by milesfides » Wed May 10, 2017 6:37 pm
Magic: Now that Larry isn't rockblocking me, I'm going to bring Paul George home, baby.
Rob: Perfect, I'll see what I can do with Gordon Hayward.
Magic: We can't lose Haywood to the Celtics!
Rob Pelinka: Hayward. Hayward.
Magic: That's what I said, baby. Can you call his agent?
Rob Pelinka: Mark Bartelstein? I already called him in. He's here.
Mark Bartelstein comes in with Nick Young.
Magic: Swaggy P and Marky B!
Marky B: Hey Rob, so glad we're not competing for clients anymore!
Rob Pelinka: They're all yours!
Marky B: Really?
Rob Pelinka: No, just Nick.
Marky B: Oh. Well, yeah, he's opting out, thanks to you guys rehabbing his value last season.
Rob Pelinka: That was all Luke Walton, but we'll take the credit. But not your client. Well, not this one. The other one-
Marky B: G.Hay? Everybody's calling about him. Doc Rivers has a man-crush on him, he'll trade his own son for G.Hay-
Rob Pelinka: That's an unfortunate nickname. Anyways, can you get us a sit down with him?
Mark pulls out his phone and makes the call. A beat.
Mark Bartlestein: He's not picking up. But he has another private number, only for family though.
Rob: You know what, let me call Kobe. He's been talking to Gordon almost every day.
He makes the call.
Rob: Hey Kob! You still have Gordon's private number?
Kobe: Yeah, why? He's working out with me right now.
Rob: Perfect! Can you ask him if he's interested in the Lakers?
Kobe: Interested? He's in my jersey and shorts right now. I'm only wearing my beard.
Rob: That's pretty weird.
Kobe: He's like the son I've been obviously trying to get for the past fifteen years.
Rob: Mark is here. Can Gordon come have a sit down with us?
Kobe: Right now? He's locked in a muse cage and I've thrown away the key.
Rob: Please don't do that. Remember Slava Medvedenko?
Kobe: Ok, hold on.
Kobe: White Mamba.
White Mamba: Yes, Dad?
Kobe: Brad Stevens, Quin Snyder, or Luke Walton?
White Mamba: I like all of them, but-
Kobe: Exactly, it doesn't matter. You're the White Mamba.
White Mamba: Dad, I want to win championships.
Kobe: Exactly. Children come and go, but banners hang forever.
White Mamba: It'll be hard to leave Rudy.
Kobe: He's not Shaq. Rudy isn't enough, and that's all you'll get up there in the free-agent Deseret.
White Mamba: It did kill me when Quin kept running isos for 45-year-old Joe Johnson instead of giving me the ball.
Kobe: Right, and do you think Brad Stevens and IT Mouse is enough to win rings?
White Mamba: Well, who does the Lakers have, aside from having a dangerous young core with a lot of good pieces?
Kobe: That sounds like an exact quote, and you sound like you already want to be a Laker, but I just got a text, hold on.
Picks up his phone, then shows it to White Mamba.
White Mamba: Is that Paul George in a Laker uniform?
Kobe: Magic just sent that to me.
White Mamba: Man, I never played next to a guy with Paul's talent.
Kobe: Me neither!
White Mamba: You're right, Boston and Utah doesn't have anybody that good. But even Jordan and Pippen needed help.
Kobe: You did say the Lakers have a dangerous young core with a lot of good pieces.
White Mamba: You're right, and on top of that, they could probably trade them for another proven two-way all star or-
Kobe: Create enough cap space to sign another one. Then you'd have a big three!
White Mamba: At least! That's another thing you never had, Dad. Lebron always had a big three.
Kobe: So did Tim Duncan. It's lonely up here with only me and MJ.
A beat.
White Mamba: Dad, can you let me out of the muse cage?
Kobe: R. Kelly found his way out of the closet. You can too.
Picks up his phone:
Kobe: Rob, I'm firing up the engines. We're taking the heli.
Director: Cut! Amazing stuff here.
Kobe: No, keep it rolling everybody. I say when to cut. I'm the storyteller here. "Black Mamba, White Mamba," rated PG-13.
“OH! Caruso parachutes in! You cannot stop him - you can only hope to contain him!” -Kevin Harlan, LAL-GSW 4/4/19