OT: General OT Thread [NO POLITICS, RACE OR RELIGION]

[DutchManDanFan]

Open to being told I am in the wrong here. I've been seeing this chick recently who has asked me about my openness to a polygamous relaitonship (something I'm not about). This weekend she had a childhood friend visit and texted me how her dog was creating a barrier for them in bed, despite having a nice couch dude could have slept on. She knows I'm upset, somehow doesn't know about what, and we'l be having the convo tomorrow after he leaves. Am I tripping?

It depends how old you both are and what you're looking for in a relationship. If you're 30+ and want a long term relationship with kids you'd better look further. If she's under 25 she might change when she becomes a mum. In the mean time you can have fun with her (do it safe) but don't get emotional invested. If you find someone else you can dump her and you don't have to feel bad for her.

[Mags FTW]

Open to being told I am in the wrong here. I've been seeing this chick over the winter who has asked me about my openness to a polygamous relaitonship (something I'm not about). This weekend she had a childhood friend visit and texted me how her dog was creating a barrier for them in bed, despite having a nice couch dude could have slept on. She knows I'm upset, somehow doesn't know about what, and we'l be having the convo tomorrow after he leaves. Am I tripping?

I'm not about that either, and it's super ****ing weird for her to text you about them sharing a bed. Not sure how far you are in the dating/official game, but if you have talked about this and came to a conclusion I'd run for the hills. I know very little, but anyone who wants an open relationship when I'm also very against would be deal breaker. I'd be out.

That's where my gut is.

Leave.

[vital_signs]

Open to being told I am in the wrong here. I've been seeing this chick recently who has asked me about my openness to a polygamous relaitonship (something I'm not about). This weekend she had a childhood friend visit and texted me how her dog was creating a barrier for them in bed, despite having a nice couch dude could have slept on. She knows I'm upset, somehow doesn't know about what, and we'l be having the convo tomorrow after he leaves. Am I tripping?

What was the outcome of the convo on polyamory? Did you set a boundary there or did you leave the door cracked because you really like her? I think you need to really think hard on this because people don't bring that up unless they're really into it; it's an unnecessary risk otherwise. So if you're really not about it and you haven't said it plainly yet, you've got to be very clear. What you don't want is a situation where one of you can't have what you want because you're together. That's poison. Better for the relationship to end now.

If you have set the boundary, I think it's fair to explain to her that you're not used to your girlfriend/whatever sharing a bed with another adult man and don't like it. Like, you've got to be really honest about it, whatever it is you feel about it. Is it that you think they did more than sleep or does just being in bed together make you too uncomfortable? It'd make me uncomfortable but some people would be fine with it. You've got to sort these things out, and there's a way to do it that's kind for both of you.

You wouldn't be asking if you didn't care about her so this is going to be difficult, because having the conversation means putting everything in the balance. The alternative, though, is going to hurt you both a lot more. You've got to get it out there so you each know what's up.

Result of our convo is that we both agreed that we wouldn't work out that way. I think tomorrow will result in a fairly honest discussion, probably more emotional than I desire, about it. I know the last time I trusted this it resulted me in finding out that the "just friends" thing wasn't the case one night which eventually ended the relationship as it turned toxic until I ended it. Best to just have that talk now before getting more emotionally invested.

[MickeyDavis]

Anyone have recommendations on a long weekend destination in the US? Wife and I have recently done LA, Florida, Seattle, Phoenix, Knoxville, Denver, San Diego. She doesn't like hiking and doing much physical activity (she'll do some), but was wondering where you all would recommend. Kinda ruins my hopes to visit any national park haha. She wants Palm Springs but that seems like a ritzy, expensive vacation.

By long weekend I assume you are talking 3-4 days? On a short trip like that I hate to spend too much of it traveling there.

We're also figuring out vacation plans this year. We love hiking, that's why Utah is #1 with 5 national parks. You can see a ton in Yellowstone just driving and stopping and not hiking. But that's not a long weekend destination at all. I enjoy Vermont, Maine, all of New England. All of the west. San Diego area is beautiful. The Pacific Coast highway is a fun trip. Too much for a long weekend even if you just do the California part.

[jschligs]

I will always go to bat for Charleston. It's a great long weekend visit. Find a hotel or vrbo in the historic district and walk everywhere you wanna go for the duration of your stay.

Jschligs - Anything you can add about interests? Beach/pool or more culture and restaurants?

Loved Charleston but similar to San Diego is you can't walk to the beach from downtown. Probably 25 min to Sullivans/Folly beach.
Similar situation with Savannah and Tybee.

New Orleans obviously has plenty to do for a weekend if you want good food and drinks.

It's tough because we don't necessarily have a certain interest. I love seeing city culture, exploring new areas, and we LOVE to go out to eat for lunch and dinner. I think when we did Seattle one of you guys recommended this Italian place and it was one of the best meals we've ever eaten.

We love beach as a day trip, but wouldn't be mad if we ended up doing a pool day instead. I like the idea of being able to walk everywhere. I think I'm going to push for Charleston, NOLA or Savannah. I am a big history buff in that I will dive in when I'm somewhere new and learn as much as I can. She, however, loves shopping, places you see on TV, and that dumb ****.

I actually have a very similar situation. My wife and I are trying to decide on a vacation for the beginning of the summer and we have a few ideas, but we're open to suggestions. We do like a a little bit of hiking, but we're definitely more mountain people than beach people. We also really like historical places, Savanah in particular was one of our favorites and we also had a great time in NOLA but we don't need to go back yet. Here's the places I'm thinking of but I'm open to critiques and suggestions:

1) Seattle, WA
2) Asheville, NC
3) Boston, MA
4) Anchorage, AK

I loved Seattle. We did it for a long weekend and spent a couple days just walking around the different areas, then did Rattlesnake Ledge which was a decent hike about 30 minutes away. We did the space needle, some other touristy stuff, but found some cool smaller places like a ginger beer bar, a cool wine bar, and a random taco place that was insanely good. And again, that Italian place that one of you mentioned was amazing (it was called Spinasse - so amazing). If you do go to Seattle, don't waste your time on the aquarium, boy was that a waste of $50.

We also found an Airbnb for $100 ish a night in Queen Anne's, parking was tough, but I found a spot included in our Airbnb not too far off.

Edit: I found our itinerary from the trip. Outside of what I mentioned we did Fremont Brewing, Pike Place, Seattle Waterfront, Rachel's Ginger Beer, and then just walked around at random.

[jute2003]

I will always go to bat for Charleston. It's a great long weekend visit. Find a hotel or vrbo in the historic district and walk everywhere you wanna go for the duration of your stay.

Jschligs - Anything you can add about interests? Beach/pool or more culture and restaurants?

Loved Charleston but similar to San Diego is you can't walk to the beach from downtown. Probably 25 min to Sullivans/Folly beach.
Similar situation with Savannah and Tybee.

New Orleans obviously has plenty to do for a weekend if you want good food and drinks.

It's tough because we don't necessarily have a certain interest. I love seeing city culture, exploring new areas, and we LOVE to go out to eat for lunch and dinner. I think when we did Seattle one of you guys recommended this Italian place and it was one of the best meals we've ever eaten.

We love beach as a day trip, but wouldn't be mad if we ended up doing a pool day instead. I like the idea of being able to walk everywhere. I think I'm going to push for Charleston, NOLA or Savannah. I am a big history buff in that I will dive in when I'm somewhere new and learn as much as I can. She, however, loves shopping, places you see on TV, and that dumb ****.

I actually have a very similar situation. My wife and I are trying to decide on a vacation for the beginning of the summer and we have a few ideas, but we're open to suggestions. We do like a a little bit of hiking, but we're definitely more mountain people than beach people. We also really like historical places, Savanah in particular was one of our favorites and we also had a great time in NOLA but we don't need to go back yet. Here's the places I'm thinking of but I'm open to critiques and suggestions:

1) Seattle, WA
2) Asheville, NC
3) Boston, MA
4) Anchorage, AK

I loved Seattle. We did it for a long weekend and spent a couple days just walking around the different areas, then did Rattlesnake Ledge which was a decent hike about 30 minutes away. We did the space needle, some other touristy stuff, but found some cool smaller places like a ginger beer bar, a cool wine bar, and a random taco place that was insanely good. And again, that Italian place that one of you mentioned was amazing (it was called Spinasse - so amazing). If you do go to Seattle, don't waste your time on the aquarium, boy was that a waste of $50.

We also found an Airbnb for $100 ish a night in Queen Anne's, parking was tough, but I found a spot included in our Airbnb not too far off.

Edit: I found our itinerary from the trip. Outside of what I mentioned we did Fremont Brewing, Pike Place, Seattle Waterfront, Rachel's Ginger Beer, and then just walked around at random.

Sell her on king street for shopping and The Notebook connections.

Savannah is definitely on my short list for next trips

[MikeIsGood]

Alright, so I was normal-person good at math back in the day - AP classes in HS, started well in college - and I'm still known as a numbers guy today. Very analytical; do normal-person math well. When I got to more advanced classes in college, though, I was quickly overwhelmed. I was taking them out of general interest as I had no interest in making a career out of it, and I got lapped like 10 times by the kids who were majoring in math. Which is totally fine, it was just when I knew I had reached my 'hobby' peak, I guess.

This video just popped up on my feed, and when I see stuff like this it just brings some of the spark back. Math is so cool I loved teachers who could make math approachable, which it feels like this person is. It makes me want to do it again...even though it's been like 20 years and I'd be a disaster.

Watch on YouTube

[KidA24]

Alright, so I was normal-person good at math back in the day - AP classes in HS, started well in college - and I'm still known as a numbers guy today. Very analytical; do normal-person math well. When I got to more advanced classes in college, though, I was quickly overwhelmed. I was taking them out of general interest as I had no interest in making a career out of it, and I got lapped like 10 times by the kids who were majoring in math. Which is totally fine, it was just when I knew I had reached my 'hobby' peak, I guess.

This video just popped up on my feed, and when I see stuff like this it just brings some of the spark back. Math is so cool I loved teachers who could make math approachable, which it feels like this person is. It makes me want to do it again...even though it's been like 20 years and I'd be a disaster.

Watch on YouTube

[chonestown]

Read on Twitter

Oh how I wanted Whiter Donte to find a home in Milwaukee and for Bud to eventually yell this out coming off a timeout and in need of a bucket.

[ReginaldDwight]

I actually have a very similar situation. My wife and I are trying to decide on a vacation for the beginning of the summer and we have a few ideas, but we're open to suggestions. We do like a a little bit of hiking, but we're definitely more mountain people than beach people. We also really like historical places, Savanah in particular was one of our favorites and we also had a great time in NOLA but we don't need to go back yet. Here's the places I'm thinking of but I'm open to critiques and suggestions:

1) Seattle, WA
2) Asheville, NC
3) Boston, MA
4) Anchorage, AK

Mexico City

[Pachinko_]

Alright, so I was normal-person good at math back in the day - AP classes in HS, started well in college - and I'm still known as a numbers guy today. Very analytical; do normal-person math well. When I got to more advanced classes in college, though, I was quickly overwhelmed. I was taking them out of general interest as I had no interest in making a career out of it, and I got lapped like 10 times by the kids who were majoring in math. Which is totally fine, it was just when I knew I had reached my 'hobby' peak, I guess.

This video just popped up on my feed, and when I see stuff like this it just brings some of the spark back. Math is so cool I loved teachers who could make math approachable, which it feels like this person is. It makes me want to do it again...even though it's been like 20 years and I'd be a disaster.

Watch on YouTube

It is cool. My 12 year old daughter is doing formulas in excel and math puzzles for fun LOL (after she's done with all the snapchatting of course). She's been put in advanced classes at school 2 years ahead of the rest of her class.
I'm trying to explain to her that in real life and at work she will probably find as many applications explaining simple math to idiots as actually doing math, and she needs to invest a lot time to find the right words to grab peoples attention and break down the problem and the solution for them. Understanding and explaining are two entirely different things, those few who can do both are irreplaceable. Some become teachers but many become directors and executives.

[Bucksfan28]

POS acts like a POS. Stunned I tell ya

Watch on YouTube

[buckboy]

Wow. Not cool.

At least he didn't slap him in the head I guess.

[Bucksfan28]

Wow. Not cool.

At least he didn't slap him in the head I guess.

Or smother him with a pillow

[buckboy]

Wow. Not cool.

At least he didn't slap him in the head I guess.

Or smother him with a pillow

Jesus. I had no idea about that. Thanks for sharing.

[MikeIsGood]

Oh yeah, Sasha is a total ****. He gave the busted up racket to a little kid in the crowd, too, which I feel like somehow makes this worse. Hope he gets a lengthy suspension for this, and they stop sweeping his abuse allegations under the rug. ATP's investigation has been open for *checks calendar* about 5 months now.

[MickeyDavis]

Watch on YouTube

;ab_channel=TheSteveGTennis

[MissKhriddleton]

Man, how does any relationship survive the home buying process? We have only been looking for 3 weeks and I think we’ve gotten into an argument every weekend. She would put in an offer on almost anything we look at and I’ve liked 1 house so far and would take another 6 months if it was up to me.

It’s only the biggest financial commitment of our lives that’s going to lock us into a living situation for the next 3-5 years. Let’s take our time and not settle, right?

[jute2003]

Man, how does any relationship survive the home buying process? We have only been looking for 3 weeks and I think we’ve gotten into an argument every weekend. She would put in an offer on almost anything we look at and I’ve liked 1 house so far and would take another 6 months if it was up to me.

It’s only the biggest financial commitment of our lives that’s going to lock us into a living situation for the next 3-5 years. Let’s take our time and not settle, right?

Balancing the need to be aggressive in this market with the desire to get what you want would certainly be a challenge. My wife and I bought our house in 2009 and the market was different to say the least.

Friends who have purchased recently struggled with expectation management. You may already have a handle on this as I have no idea where you're at or what you're looking at but realistic expectations of what you can afford and where are a must. That doesn't mean settle but just make sure that what you're waiting for actually exists.

[buckboy]

My wife and I moved in October of '19 (great timing to say the least).

We looked at maybe 60 houses over a 4-5 year period.

I was looking for a place that I could get some sweat equity out of. I wasn't going to get taken to the cleaners by someone who had half-assed a remodel recently. I wasn't paying top dollar for someone else's shoddy work to turn a buck. I was right all along, and I think she knew it. We got an incredible deal on the house we bought, and it's up over 50% in 2 years. Just paid for 2 kids' college with a home equity loan and our payment went down. Added 18 months to the mortgage.

Point is, if you're patient, you can find what you both want.

It is the biggest decision you will have made in your life to this point (unless you have kids). Don't give in.