OT: General OT Thread [NO POLITICS OR RELIGION]

[Kerb Hohl]

Allow me a random rant here as I do once every few months.

Holidays when you have kids but also have divorced parents that refuse to be in the same room as each other suck ass.

My brother basically was like, "we're flying in by you guys for the week." Cool.

"I told [parents] to come up there, too for all of those days."

I am a 100% "have a general set of plans, go with the flow" type of person. I am sitting here with each family entity trying to pull me in different directions to plan **** so that they can be with the grandkids but also not near each other. Every day is a new change of plans. This is stupid and I told my brother to never do this again. Also it is cool that people in their mid 60s can be so immature.

My rant is the cost of braces. Had a place quote nearly $7000 for basic metal braces. Can't believe we have to shop around for braces since I've heard from others that the cost should be exactly half of that.

I'm so many years out from having actual braces myself, but has invisalign type stuff almost made them much less used? I still see braces here and there and I'm assuming it is for more severe alignment issues?

Probably a dumb question.

[crkone]

Allow me a random rant here as I do once every few months.

Holidays when you have kids but also have divorced parents that refuse to be in the same room as each other suck ass.

My brother basically was like, "we're flying in by you guys for the week." Cool.

"I told [parents] to come up there, too for all of those days."

I am a 100% "have a general set of plans, go with the flow" type of person. I am sitting here with each family entity trying to pull me in different directions to plan **** so that they can be with the grandkids but also not near each other. Every day is a new change of plans. This is stupid and I told my brother to never do this again. Also it is cool that people in their mid 60s can be so immature.

My rant is the cost of braces. Had a place quote nearly $7000 for basic metal braces. Can't believe we have to shop around for braces since I've heard from others that the cost should be exactly half of that.

I'm so many years out from having actual braces myself, but has invisalign type stuff almost made them much less used? I still see braces here and there and I'm assuming it is for more severe alignment issues?

Probably a dumb question.

There are different pros and cons with them but this is for a teen who most definitely wouldn't keep up with keeping it in as often as it needs to be. She also has some bite correction that needs to occur.

[humanrefutation]

I went through Marquette Dental School to get my braces done about 20 years ago and they were affordable for my family. Largely because you're working with a student, and thus there's gonna be some more trial-and-error associated with it all - but they are supervised by a licensed Ortho so it wasn't a problem for me, ultimately. They had to do some pretty substantial work - they had to stretch open my mouth to make room for more teeth, re-align my bite, remove several baby teeth, etc. It was a multi-step process that took several years, but it worked out in the end.

[crkone]

I went through Marquette Dental School to get my braces done about 20 years ago and they were affordable for my family. Largely because you're working with a student, and thus there's gonna be some more trial-and-error associated with it all - but they are supervised by a licensed Ortho so it wasn't a problem for me, ultimately. They had to do some pretty substantial work - they had to stretch open my mouth to make room for more teeth, re-align my bite, remove several baby teeth, etc. It was a multi-step process that took several years, but it worked out in the end.

I'll keep that in mind as we get our second opinion in a couple weeks. Thanks!

[MickeyDavis]

Yeah you can save a lot of money on all dental work at Marquette. I have no idea if there is a wait to get in or any of that but I've heard good things.

[MrHoneycutt]

I've been working my way to make this post for a little bit. For those of you who have been through it, what helped you cope when one of your parents passed away? Sadly one of mine died very suddenly recently, and it has been awful to put it mildly. I certainly never knew how much there was to do from a practical standpoint, and was fortunate to come home for weeks in order to help out and take the reigns on all the planning/finaggling/etc. that needed to be done, both for the services and the endless paperwork for life insurance/social security/consoldiating or canceling accounts, etc.

Now I am back on the west coast, but it has been a real bear not worrying about my remaining parent. They are very strong and tenacious, but it's been such a shock to the system for all of us. Definitely struggling with heavy senses of guilt for not living where my parents do, despite all the calls and skypes and texts (particularly during Bucks games). How have others handled all of the heaviness that comes with these types of things?

[MickeyDavis]

Very sorry for your loss. I lost my dad about 10 years ago, right before Xmas, it was tough. Still is.

[crkone]

Took years of terrible elementary and middle school music to get to this point. I'm actually excited to hear the high school band play this music.

[Nightfall]

How on Earth can he jump so high on grass with soccer shoes ?!

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[AussieBuck]

I've been working my way to make this post for a little bit. For those of you who have been through it, what helped you cope when one of your parents passed away? Sadly one of mine died very suddenly recently, and it has been awful to put it mildly. I certainly never knew how much there was to do from a practical standpoint, and was fortunate to come home for weeks in order to help out and take the reigns on all the planning/finaggling/etc. that needed to be done, both for the services and the endless paperwork for life insurance/social security/consoldiating or canceling accounts, etc.

Now I am back on the west coast, but it has been a real bear not worrying about my remaining parent. They are very strong and tenacious, but it's been such a shock to the system for all of us. Definitely struggling with heavy senses of guilt for not living where my parents do, despite all the calls and skypes and texts (particularly during Bucks games). How have others handled all of the heaviness that comes with these types of things?

My mum is basically the greatest person who ever lived and she's going through some form of dementia. She'll basically be gone in the next couple of years at a guess. It's basically dunking all over my fragile grasp on sanity. **** if I know how people deal with this kidn of **** combined with work, kids, the world turning into a **** lead by **** morons etc. The Bucks being **** amazing is a crutch helping me tick along.

Sorry for your loss, life is a **** ****.

[Pachinko_]

I lost my father a few years ago and my mother is on the other side of the planet. Both those things **** me up a little bit every day when I think about it. Death doesn't make sense to me at all and it never will, the only answer I have found is my kids. Life continues through them.

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[Perseus1966]

After my father died moved with my mother (i am divorced) ,i saw the signs of dementia one year ago , I try to treat her with pation but sometimes she drives me crazy .bucks bball and booze is my medicine

[KidA24]

I've been working my way to make this post for a little bit. For those of you who have been through it, what helped you cope when one of your parents passed away? Sadly one of mine died very suddenly recently, and it has been awful to put it mildly. I certainly never knew how much there was to do from a practical standpoint, and was fortunate to come home for weeks in order to help out and take the reigns on all the planning/finaggling/etc. that needed to be done, both for the services and the endless paperwork for life insurance/social security/consoldiating or canceling accounts, etc.

Now I am back on the west coast, but it has been a real bear not worrying about my remaining parent. They are very strong and tenacious, but it's been such a shock to the system for all of us. Definitely struggling with heavy senses of guilt for not living where my parents do, despite all the calls and skypes and texts (particularly during Bucks games). How have others handled all of the heaviness that comes with these types of things?

The best advice I can give is you have to talk. You *have* to talk. I don't care if you're the manliest man who can never show any emotion ever or the strongest woman who's ever lived. If you don't let yourself feel and talk to someone (family, friends, a psychiatrist) all you're going to do is prolong the grief and pain.

At first I had to pretend and tell myself it's going to get better, and that things will move forward, eventually I actually started to believe it a little bit.

[buckboy]

I've been working my way to make this post for a little bit. For those of you who have been through it, what helped you cope when one of your parents passed away? Sadly one of mine died very suddenly recently, and it has been awful to put it mildly. I certainly never knew how much there was to do from a practical standpoint, and was fortunate to come home for weeks in order to help out and take the reigns on all the planning/finaggling/etc. that needed to be done, both for the services and the endless paperwork for life insurance/social security/consoldiating or canceling accounts, etc.

Now I am back on the west coast, but it has been a real bear not worrying about my remaining parent. They are very strong and tenacious, but it's been such a shock to the system for all of us. Definitely struggling with heavy senses of guilt for not living where my parents do, despite all the calls and skypes and texts (particularly during Bucks games). How have others handled all of the heaviness that comes with these types of things?

My Dad died very suddenly last July. He wasn't feeling well so he went to the doctor like he always did. Came in to work at about 10:00 and was dead from a pulmonary embolism by noon. I worked 2500 hours a year with him for 25 years. We were close, to say the least.

I don't know what I can offer other than it gets better. The first few months really sucked. Walking into work and seeing his chair empty was **** awful, but now, 16 months later, when I look at that chair, I smile. I think being "away" would make it a lot more difficult for me. I go to my Mom's 2-3 times a week and take care of her house as much as I can. Her unbelievable toughness has really carried me (and my 5 brothers & sisters) through it. They were married for 63 years and he died in her arms. If she can get through that, I can get through it.

IDK. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say here, but it feels good to say it. It's never going to be easy, but it will be easier I guess. It's cliche, but I always try to think about our good times together, which were plentiful. I hope your other parent can lead a fulfilling life now. I think it's extremely important that he/she gets out and does stuff. My mom joined her local senior center and absolutely loves the camaraderie that it offers. I've found that my mental health is at least somewhat tied to hers at this point, and you may find the same thing.

Anyway, I'm glad you posted. Talking always helps.

[humanrefutation]

I've been working my way to make this post for a little bit. For those of you who have been through it, what helped you cope when one of your parents passed away? Sadly one of mine died very suddenly recently, and it has been awful to put it mildly. I certainly never knew how much there was to do from a practical standpoint, and was fortunate to come home for weeks in order to help out and take the reigns on all the planning/finaggling/etc. that needed to be done, both for the services and the endless paperwork for life insurance/social security/consoldiating or canceling accounts, etc.

Now I am back on the west coast, but it has been a real bear not worrying about my remaining parent. They are very strong and tenacious, but it's been such a shock to the system for all of us. Definitely struggling with heavy senses of guilt for not living where my parents do, despite all the calls and skypes and texts (particularly during Bucks games). How have others handled all of the heaviness that comes with these types of things?

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope all of their loving memories can help sustain you as you navigate through your grief. I think the advice that people have given about talking to someone about your grief and loss is excellent - I can't echo it enough.

Do you think it's possible to broach the subject of asking your remaining parent to move closer to you? I don't know if they have a busy career that keeps them occupied and makes it hard for them to leave, and if they have a nice social circle, they might not want to. And that makes sense. But I do think it is a bit easier when your remaining parent is someone who you can visit whenever you want or whenever they need without booking plane tickets and taking off from work. And if they say no, then they've made their choice and you can respect it and accept it.

[stellation]

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Back to back record breaking days; that's an average max temperature of 41.9 c/107.42 f across the 6th largest country on earth.

It's probably more pleasant somewhere like Hawaii at the moment.

[MickeyDavis]

Awesome, I love heat

[jute2003]

My wife's father died from lung cancer a little over two years ago. It wasn't sudden which may have helped her cope. She basically had a year to say goodbye and come to terms with it. She internalizes things so much more than I do though. We had to go photograph a wedding on the day that he passed and she never wavered. I don't know how she did it. Her mother is a pain in the ass to deal with and always has been. Without her father there, a lot of that responsibility and decision making falls on her. She is so much stronger than me. Both of my parents are still here thankfully. I don't deal with death well.

All of this is to say, I don't have an answer. I'm sorry for your loss and hope you are able to find comfort somewhere.

[stellation]

Awesome, I love heat

That's probably a bit like me saying I love snow- I'm sure after a while you go "enough, already!"

[MrHoneycutt]

I've been working my way to make this post for a little bit. For those of you who have been through it, what helped you cope when one of your parents passed away? Sadly one of mine died very suddenly recently, and it has been awful to put it mildly. I certainly never knew how much there was to do from a practical standpoint, and was fortunate to come home for weeks in order to help out and take the reigns on all the planning/finaggling/etc. that needed to be done, both for the services and the endless paperwork for life insurance/social security/consoldiating or canceling accounts, etc.

Now I am back on the west coast, but it has been a real bear not worrying about my remaining parent. They are very strong and tenacious, but it's been such a shock to the system for all of us. Definitely struggling with heavy senses of guilt for not living where my parents do, despite all the calls and skypes and texts (particularly during Bucks games). How have others handled all of the heaviness that comes with these types of things?

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope all of their loving memories can help sustain you as you navigate through your grief. I think the advice that people have given about talking to someone about your grief and loss is excellent - I can't echo it enough.

Do you think it's possible to broach the subject of asking your remaining parent to move closer to you? I don't know if they have a busy career that keeps them occupied and makes it hard for them to leave, and if they have a nice social circle, they might not want to. And that makes sense. But I do think it is a bit easier when your remaining parent is someone who you can visit whenever you want or whenever they need without booking plane tickets and taking off from work. And if they say no, then they've made their choice and you can respect it and accept it.

Man, that would be the dream. She's retired now, and I have gently broached the subject a bit thus far. One of my siblings still lives in Milwaukee and my mom grew up there, most of all I think it would just be tremendously difficult for her to comport to such a radically-different environment after all these years in town (no matter how sick of the cold we can all get). I actually have a sort of wild job possibility in quite an unbelievable climate coming up, and my unfettered dream is to have her come with me for the winter months and return to the cream city when it's tolerable, e.g. April-September.

Don't want to clog up the OT threat with a bunch of replies, so I'll just say thank you to you and to everyone here. Talking about it is definitely a necessity, something I haven't had the opportunity to do much of since it happened. It's been frankly bizarre to do my work in private practice and the emergency/hospital setting for psychiatric services while looking to either conceal this from my own patients to keep the focus on them, and look to unburden to someone else myself. Time will make things easier, for me and for others who have shared their own experiences as well.

Stomping a mudhole in the Lakers this evening would also have a particularly salubrious effect.