JoeyMorgan619 wrote:Going through my first real breakup. Man does this suck more than anything I've ever experienced. So many questions and no answers. So much regret. Can't eat and barely want to do anything. Silver lining is we ended it on good terms. Anybody have anything good to help me out?
In addition to the great advice you've received so far, I'd just emphasize that short term pain does not have to equal long term suffering. When you're dealing with any grief, it's very easy to feel a sense of hopelessness about the future. But I can tell you from experience that those thoughts - as persuasive as they might feel in your head in the moment - are toxic and totally false. Never let yourself be fooled by the notion that things won't get better. That you won't end up meeting someone else that will make you feel the kind of love and affection and happiness that you're hoping for.
But above all, make sure to love yourself. That was the hardest part for me - not to see a breakup as an indictment of myself. Being able to identify the very qualities that make you a good catch - a lovable, enjoyable, and attractive person - will help you move past this ex and focus instead on the possibilities for a future in which you will meet someone who loves you for the person you are. Being able to love and value yourself is so incredibly important in these moments because it'll help brush away those toxic thoughts that try to bring you down.
And, I'd consider therapy as well, at least as a space to process in a non-judgmental setting. One of my good friends got divorced a few years ago and went through a similar bout of pain - he stopped eating, he was crying all the time, he could barely function. It was worse in his case because he had two kids with his now ex. But, after spending time in therapy, he's since moved on. He eventually met someone who is so much better for him. He got married, and now they travel the world together. He's in a much happier place than he was in his first marriage, let alone the shell of a man I saw after his wife filed for divorce. Therapy helped him process, find hope, and move on. I'd consider it if you need someone to talk to.
Be well, my friend.