hump banging on and off the floor...toronto story
Posted: Thu Jun 9, 2011 2:40 am
woman who can't write but who did the hump (and, apparently, bosh) trying to sell book about it.
Here's an excerpt from her website, with link to story below.
"And then there was Kris. I thought he was kind of odd looking when he walked into the restaurant my girlfriend and I were having drinks in. I had no idea who he was. He asked the bartender Leah to send over drinks to us, we started talking, he played for the Raptors, after some drinks at Muse we went to a club. I couldn't tell who was into who if anyone was into anyone at all really. At one point when we were at the club Atelier he reached over and grabbed the back of my red halter top and pulled me towards him. I thought ok maybe he's attracted to me. Then we all went back to his place, I still wasn't sure who liked who, I was trying to figure out what couch to sit on. See he was in the kitchen area and his team mate was on the couch, and my friend was in the chair ignoring everyone. I didn't know what the hell to do, so I sat on the arm of one of the couches and then Kris jumped over the back, pulled me down next to him, pulled a blanket over our heads and kissed me. Wow! What a nice, juicy, passionate kiss, you know I'm all about the kiss, so if I'm writing about him it had to be a pretty amazing. I liked his playfulness. He asked me if I would stay, if he sent my friend home in a cab. I said yes even though I shouldn't have. I stayed, she left. Then the stupidest **** flew out of my mouth. IN my drunken stupor, I said you're not the first ball player I've been with. I don't know why I said that, maybe I was trying to tell him, before he heard it from someone else, but the way it came out he almost asked me to leave. In my mind I knew he was too young for us to ever be together But in my hopeless romantic passionate heart I wanted to believe anything was possible. He probably doesn't even realize the impact he had on me. One night when I was lying in his arms feeling like I was in heaven. He asked me a bunch of personal questions. After I answered he said, "oh so you're a player." I was mortified, speechless, never in my life would I lie or play games with someone. The next morning he left me at his place alone and when I was in the bathroom I found this article on a page that must have been ripped out of a religious magazine. It was about how you should live your life, if you want to get all the things you want in life. It mentioned everything from the music you listen to , to the t.v. you watch, to what you eat, what you do with your body, not consuming alcohol etc etc.. It was a sign, another message to smarten up. To me, going out a handful of times a year to be with a man cuz I was going crazy being at home alone seemed innocent. I was simply trying to fulfill a desperate need for intimacy, affection, and the desire to feel wanted. But it didn't seem like it was being portrayed that way by the opposite sex. It seemed like people were noticing and I was giving the wrong impression of myself to the men I was meeting. I started to realize this living in the moment could cost me the man of my dreams. I always thought the fact he left me in his place when he went to practice, meant he liked me. I figured he asked me those personal questions because he was interested in me. This other athlete I'd known three years never asked me anything and certainly wouldn't leave me in his place alone, even if I was practically dying from a hangover. I guess my desperation made me hope anything was a sign I was special to someone."
http://deadspin.com/5810111/woman-who-u ... s-financee
Here's an excerpt from her website, with link to story below.
"And then there was Kris. I thought he was kind of odd looking when he walked into the restaurant my girlfriend and I were having drinks in. I had no idea who he was. He asked the bartender Leah to send over drinks to us, we started talking, he played for the Raptors, after some drinks at Muse we went to a club. I couldn't tell who was into who if anyone was into anyone at all really. At one point when we were at the club Atelier he reached over and grabbed the back of my red halter top and pulled me towards him. I thought ok maybe he's attracted to me. Then we all went back to his place, I still wasn't sure who liked who, I was trying to figure out what couch to sit on. See he was in the kitchen area and his team mate was on the couch, and my friend was in the chair ignoring everyone. I didn't know what the hell to do, so I sat on the arm of one of the couches and then Kris jumped over the back, pulled me down next to him, pulled a blanket over our heads and kissed me. Wow! What a nice, juicy, passionate kiss, you know I'm all about the kiss, so if I'm writing about him it had to be a pretty amazing. I liked his playfulness. He asked me if I would stay, if he sent my friend home in a cab. I said yes even though I shouldn't have. I stayed, she left. Then the stupidest **** flew out of my mouth. IN my drunken stupor, I said you're not the first ball player I've been with. I don't know why I said that, maybe I was trying to tell him, before he heard it from someone else, but the way it came out he almost asked me to leave. In my mind I knew he was too young for us to ever be together But in my hopeless romantic passionate heart I wanted to believe anything was possible. He probably doesn't even realize the impact he had on me. One night when I was lying in his arms feeling like I was in heaven. He asked me a bunch of personal questions. After I answered he said, "oh so you're a player." I was mortified, speechless, never in my life would I lie or play games with someone. The next morning he left me at his place alone and when I was in the bathroom I found this article on a page that must have been ripped out of a religious magazine. It was about how you should live your life, if you want to get all the things you want in life. It mentioned everything from the music you listen to , to the t.v. you watch, to what you eat, what you do with your body, not consuming alcohol etc etc.. It was a sign, another message to smarten up. To me, going out a handful of times a year to be with a man cuz I was going crazy being at home alone seemed innocent. I was simply trying to fulfill a desperate need for intimacy, affection, and the desire to feel wanted. But it didn't seem like it was being portrayed that way by the opposite sex. It seemed like people were noticing and I was giving the wrong impression of myself to the men I was meeting. I started to realize this living in the moment could cost me the man of my dreams. I always thought the fact he left me in his place when he went to practice, meant he liked me. I figured he asked me those personal questions because he was interested in me. This other athlete I'd known three years never asked me anything and certainly wouldn't leave me in his place alone, even if I was practically dying from a hangover. I guess my desperation made me hope anything was a sign I was special to someone."
http://deadspin.com/5810111/woman-who-u ... s-financee
.