Paradise wrote:I haven’t been around as much this summer because of the relationship I ended up putting myself in which was also my fault for entertaining my ex but after I reflected on it and this individual I have to now classify as an ex who I ended up developing a strong bond and feelings for told me a few weeks ago I tried to hit her.
When all I did was grab my phone out of her hand after she repeatedly made it a thing to go through my phone while I slept to attack or text my actual ex on “our” behalf let me know the depths of what some females can do or say in the moment due to their own problems and lack of maturity.
It doesn’t excuse the fact I definitely had created a bad dynamic by being cool or thinking me and my ex could be friends. It didn’t excuse my current girlfriend from going to my exes job to physically fight her over a silly war of words on Snapchat and that resulted into my current girlfriend, now ex getting arrested for assault and losing her ability to work with children.
However, the details here paint a picture of a person who did probably assault her at one point even if it was self defense of some real disrespectful comments on social media...it doesn’t make it right.
This same person I am speaking of also told me she could get dudes to kill me because she claimed I hit her. She also said she would kill me in my own home. After that, I realized any kind of altercations with a male is a nasty trigger of her past abuse by another male who was a piece of **** but she doesn’t seem to understand she hasn’t healed and has taken on some of those traits.
Despite everything, she claimed after talking to her best friend’s mom and that “talked” her out of it and she would’ve never acted on her threat. The issue there is...she does actually have a lot of male friends who have been crips in the past and currently. She knew how I felt about that kind of stuff so she used it as a way to get under my skin and actually admitted to this.
As a man, I knew it would be weak to even pursue a restraining order and being from Bed Stuy, Flatbush and now residing in Canarsie. I knew I couldn’t remotely feel good about myself making any reports about that. Especially, considering she’s a bit younger than me.
Either way, this was a learning experience this summer but more so, a reality check of the depths of females in the new millennium. So, I do believe he could’ve been on the wrong side of this accusation case but I do believe they had an ugly argument and even if she reported those details too late for credibility. I do think he is at fault for most of the alleged actions in the report including the “I’m going to kill myself.” Because it sounds similar to a 21 year old in a relationship of raw emotion.
I can admit, despite how much I entered the relationship just head over heels for her and her innocent look and overall personality. I began to develop a disdain for her she would carry herself whenever she was upset because I personally don’t believe a female should ever threaten you, throw stuff in the street in a very residential suburb kind of environment when the neighbors are watching and you are only causing this level of a scene to make me feel embarrassed.
I don’t think Rodions at 21 can understand how to carry the emotions of a female that you might feel is disrespecting your home or your brand. You deal with it by being the bigger person and making that decision to take it or leave it.
She could’ve made these allegations in the future if he broke up with her but the reality of physical marks and most likely, neighbors who have heard it creates a very bad situation for him and his reputation most importantly.
I'm sorry you had to go through that fam, but I think you're handling it in a really mature manner. I was your age once, and I also dealt with my share of crazy. It also really sucks when you have to be on the receiving end of an abused person's wrath because of what someone else did to them.
The thing is, I remember when I was younger I would look past or ignore red flags with women because younger me just wanted to stick my dick in something. The older I get the more that becomes less important when compared to peace, stability quality of living, finances, etc. I was once in an awful relationship like that too and it took me awhile to learn enough to just walk away.
Now though I realize that who I choose to associate with is also my responsibility, and if I ignore red flags that's on me. The older I get the more I don't bother with certain types of people. I'll ghost someone in a second these days I don't care
i think a lot of men need to understand that walking away is better than sitting there and letting emotions over take you, especially anger. Once things start getting violent, either on her part or yours, you're in a territory that no one needs to be in.
Regarding Rodi, the part that disturbed me is the accusation that he claimed that he wanted to kill himself while he was assaulting her (allegedly). That is a textbook abuser's tactic, which made me think that this may not be a bunch of lies. However, we've got to let the courts decide here. I want to know what evidence the DA has that led them to taking this to trial.
and um yeah one piece of advice...being friends with an ex while dating someone new isn't going to ever work out well. ever.