ImageImageImageImageImage

[Community Thread] Welcome To New York! - Intros Here Too

Moderators: moocow007, magnumt, Jeff Van Gully, NoLayupRule, Thugger HBC, King of Canada, j4remi, mpharris36, Thorn, Deeeez Knicks, Capn'O, GONYK, K-DOT, mrpoetryNmotion

User avatar
sushibear
Lead Assistant
Posts: 5,507
And1: 2,877
Joined: Jan 10, 2016
 

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#721 » by sushibear » Sun Mar 4, 2018 11:55 pm

Fat Kat wrote:Image


Yeah. I can't think of anything else why she turned you down especially after you all ready had sex with her. Ouch
Lord Commander
Head Coach
Posts: 6,403
And1: 888
Joined: Nov 23, 2005
     

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#722 » by Lord Commander » Mon Mar 5, 2018 12:32 am

Greenie wrote:
Lord Commander wrote:You tipped your feelings way too soon, bro. It’s been my experience that women respond better when you seem disinterested. It’s a bs game to play, but that’s how it is. Next time you’ll know.

The lies.
If a person doesn’t like you they just don’t like you. No need to play games. Move on and find someone that does like you.


We’ve already gotten past the baseline like/dislike. Question: what’s more appealing and interesting to you, a guy in your face expressing his feelings for you after two dates, or a guy who’s inaccessible and hard to figure out?
User avatar
FatboyRealPetty
RealGM
Posts: 21,833
And1: 11,538
Joined: Jan 12, 2013
Location: Queens

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#723 » by FatboyRealPetty » Mon Mar 5, 2018 12:36 am

Greenie wrote:You all need to leave apps alone. Go find women while doing everday things. Grocery store, mechanics, nail salons(get your feet done). Food spots. Gas stations. Department stores. Malls.



If not you will simply continue to get curved with the quickness.



women in grocery stores = married with kids
women in nail salon = stripper
women at the Mechanics = admires a manly job and wants the D
women in food spots = fat and depressed
women at Gas stations = running from the law
women in malls = gold digger
islanders11040 wrote:If Porzingis went #1 i would take Anal from Lexington Steele
User avatar
magnumt
Global Mod
Global Mod
Posts: 47,182
And1: 12,655
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
Location: Gott'a Stick To My Girls Like Glue, Ain't No No. 2 Here...Sean Paul Style, Baby Gyrl!!!
Contact:
         

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#724 » by magnumt » Mon Mar 5, 2018 12:42 am

MP4LIFE wrote:This is going to be a lame thread and probably reactionary so please don’t jump on me too much. I know I’ll sound like a loser.

I went on 2 dates with this girl and we had a great time. Second time was at her apartment and we had sex. We kept talking for days after and she wanted to see me again but today she dropped it on me that she doesn’t feel anything romantically and doesn’t want to hurt me. That’s fair - but is it weird that I feel hurt by being turned down after 2 dates? That’s not a long time. It’s like 2-3 weeks but I really liked this girl and feel like **** because apparently she didn’t have the same feelings back.

Am I a lame for having feelings for someone so quickly?


==========================

Capn'O wrote:Not really. I mean - you've gotta be what? 30s? Late 20s at least. You know what you want.

Sounds like you're generally more interested in and ready for something longer term and she wasn't. That's too bad but something you can bring into your next sitch.


Handledatruth wrote:I'll just say she did you a favor. This would've hurt a lot more if done two months down the road.


Gold wisdom here.

Like Cap said tho, it seems like you guys went into this looking for casualness but ended up in more seriousness territory (which might've scared her away as she wasn't ready for that). Since you seem to be tho, you need to look for something serious from the get-go. Something you can bring up in conversations on future dates.

It's a fine line to tread tho as you don't want to come across as clingy/needy, but you do want to make your intentions clear enough to not end up b in situations like these. Where you're becoming emotionally involved and it's not mutual.

Hope that helps! :D Good luck!

--Mags :beer:
BAF 1.0 - Wizards: Year 2
Kemba Walker / Ish Smith / Felton
Eric Gordon / Dudley / Trier
Thabo Sefolosha / Dotson / Kornet
Gordon Hayward / Alex Len / Frye
Marc Gasol / Boban Marj. / Noah


Follow Elves on Twitter ---> magnumt6
User avatar
spree8
RealGM
Posts: 10,101
And1: 2,869
Joined: Jun 05, 2001
Location: Jersey + Miami
     

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#725 » by spree8 » Mon Mar 5, 2018 12:47 am

Damn man, you shouldn’t be having a political convo with a girl you just met and especially thru text. And if you are, who cares about that shyt.. just agree with whatever she says. With so much competition out there, you give her the smallest reason and it’s on to the next. That’s where you fuq’d up.
Def Jam

2pac. Eminem. Big Pun. Nicki Minaj. Dr. Dre

AZ. Scarface. Method Man. Redman. R Kelly. Beatnuts

Talib Kweli. De La Soul. Naughty By Nature. Joe

Image
User avatar
MP4LIFE
Assistant Coach
Posts: 4,177
And1: 3,244
Joined: Jul 15, 2016
 

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#726 » by MP4LIFE » Mon Mar 5, 2018 12:52 am

spree8 wrote:Damn man, you shouldn’t be having a political convo with a girl you just met and especially thru text. And if you are, who cares about that shyt.. just agree with whatever she says. With so much competition out there, you give her the smallest reason and it’s on to the next. That’s where you fuq’d up.


I agree but it wasn’t my choice. She initiated it and, honestly, it was very very important to her so in the long run it wasn’t going to work out because she wanted someone who thought exactly like her. She also was like ‘men can stay home and cook and can take care of the kids too’.
Dolan's record as owner of NYK as of 4/12/18: 604-854
kenneyy88
Junior
Posts: 294
And1: 96
Joined: Feb 07, 2012

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#727 » by kenneyy88 » Mon Mar 5, 2018 1:03 am

So you don't support women's rights?
User avatar
FatboyRealPetty
RealGM
Posts: 21,833
And1: 11,538
Joined: Jan 12, 2013
Location: Queens

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#728 » by FatboyRealPetty » Mon Mar 5, 2018 1:06 am

relationships from online rarely work, However you feel about that person there are probably 10 other dudes shes been communicating with on that same app that she smashed, will smash or has some type of feeling for Image


i used to be on those apps but i never took it serious i posted face only pictures, flirted with multiple females which lead to some relaxing phone sex. i usually blew them off once they wanted to meet up or started asking for full body pictures then it was onto the next one
islanders11040 wrote:If Porzingis went #1 i would take Anal from Lexington Steele
User avatar
MP4LIFE
Assistant Coach
Posts: 4,177
And1: 3,244
Joined: Jul 15, 2016
 

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#729 » by MP4LIFE » Mon Mar 5, 2018 1:09 am

Nyk_Fatboy wrote:relationships from online rarely work, However you feel about that person there are probably 10 other dudes shes been communicating with on that same app that she smashed or will smash or has some type of feeling for Image


i used to be on those apps but i never took it serious i posted face only pictures, flirted with multiple females which lead to some relaxing phone sex. i usually blew them off once they wanted to meet up or started asking for full body pictures then it was onto the next one


Where are you meeting women at, fatboy? Church?
Dolan's record as owner of NYK as of 4/12/18: 604-854
User avatar
spree8
RealGM
Posts: 10,101
And1: 2,869
Joined: Jun 05, 2001
Location: Jersey + Miami
     

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#730 » by spree8 » Mon Mar 5, 2018 1:11 am

MP4LIFE wrote:
spree8 wrote:Damn man, you shouldn’t be having a political convo with a girl you just met and especially thru text. And if you are, who cares about that shyt.. just agree with whatever she says. With so much competition out there, you give her the smallest reason and it’s on to the next. That’s where you fuq’d up.


I agree but it wasn’t my choice. She initiated it and, honestly, it was very very important to her so in the long run it wasn’t going to work out because she wanted someone who thought exactly like her. She also was like ‘men can stay home and cook and can take care of the kids too’.



Bruh, you should’ve dipped first lol.
Def Jam

2pac. Eminem. Big Pun. Nicki Minaj. Dr. Dre

AZ. Scarface. Method Man. Redman. R Kelly. Beatnuts

Talib Kweli. De La Soul. Naughty By Nature. Joe

Image
User avatar
mrpoetryNmotion
Forum Mod - Knicks
Forum Mod - Knicks
Posts: 7,549
And1: 853
Joined: Jun 28, 2009
Location: Purgatory
     

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#731 » by mrpoetryNmotion » Mon Mar 5, 2018 1:21 am

Mecca wrote:
MP4LIFE wrote:
Mecca wrote:
Where did you meet her? context helps


Bumble, which I think is a step above Tinder.


Welp, there you go. You met her on a dating app. You got your answer.

I use Bumble and Tinder. They're one in the same. The issue is what I said in my first post. Girls who have access or use dating apps are almost impossible to date because they know they have the entire menu on their plate so there's no need to settle for one.

I've dated approximately 15 different women from Tinder/Bumble this Winter alone and can tell you similar things have happened to me. She found a new guy to play with on Bumble or is having second thoughts as she doesn't know what she wants. I'm giving you that advice because it's happened to me so many times before via dating apps.


I kind of disagree or at least think this applies to both sexes so we're back at square one. Dating in this day and age is can be depressing or fun depending on your outlook and how you approach things. Honestly, I've experienced the "having too many options" thing more often than have been a victim to it. I think everyone is just trying to find that mutually realized match and will cut their other options once they find it...or at least won't commit to anything until they do.

Hard to generalize this particular girl, but yeah, she might have found what she deemed a better option. Sex is one thing, but I wouldn't catch feelings until there's some clarification regarding what y'all both are looking for, generally, and what you might be looking for with each other. Sucks to be turned down, but the blessing (and curse) with dating apps is that you can match with someone else tomorrow who could completely make you forget about whatever that two date fling was.
User avatar
FatboyRealPetty
RealGM
Posts: 21,833
And1: 11,538
Joined: Jan 12, 2013
Location: Queens

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#732 » by FatboyRealPetty » Mon Mar 5, 2018 1:29 am

MP4LIFE wrote:
Nyk_Fatboy wrote:relationships from online rarely work, However you feel about that person there are probably 10 other dudes shes been communicating with on that same app that she smashed or will smash or has some type of feeling for Image


i used to be on those apps but i never took it serious i posted face only pictures, flirted with multiple females which lead to some relaxing phone sex. i usually blew them off once they wanted to meet up or started asking for full body pictures then it was onto the next one


Where are you meeting women at, fatboy? Church?


i don't meet anyone im not a relationship type of guy i have a friend with benefits and thats all i need.. for now. But if i was trying to meet someone id just let it happen on its own and let fate guide me to that moment. Its not something ill sign up for or wake up one day and just go looking for somebody.
Image
islanders11040 wrote:If Porzingis went #1 i would take Anal from Lexington Steele
User avatar
Capn'O
Forum Mod - Knicks
Forum Mod - Knicks
Posts: 44,077
And1: 28,444
Joined: Dec 16, 2005
Location: "This isn't Highlander"
 

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#733 » by Capn'O » Mon Mar 5, 2018 1:30 am

magnumt wrote:Like Cap said tho, it seems like you guys went into this looking for casualness but ended up in more seriousness territory (which might've scared her away as she wasn't ready for that). Since you seem to be tho, you need to look for something serious from the get-go. Something you can bring up in conversations on future dates.


That's exactly what I think happened.

My boss recently told me that when he was on his first date with his wife he told her at the end of the date that

1. he wouldn't get married before finishing college
2. he wouldn't have kids before getting a house

A bold strategy Cotton, indeed, but that's his style right there. Not gonna be a winning hand every time but if it works once you're gucci :lol:
BAF Clippers
PG: SGA/IT/Rose
SG: G. Harris/Korkmaz/Alkins
SF: Gallo/KCP/Dekker
PF: Isaac/RHJ/Vanderbilt
C: Sabonis/Zubac/Qi
User avatar
HarthorneWingo
Knicks Forum Grandpa's Law
Posts: 47,912
And1: 17,982
Joined: May 16, 2005
   

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#734 » by HarthorneWingo » Mon Mar 5, 2018 1:40 am

A couple more things to keep in mind:

1. The pussy is all powerful. Don't forget that.

2. Strictly from a transactional perspective, you made an offer and she accepted. You could have withheld the offer until you get to know her better but then you wouldn't have gotten the pussy. I wouldn't crawl back into a shell over this. You did pretty good. Just keep offering yourself up.

Image
tuna108
Sixth Man
Posts: 1,519
And1: 587
Joined: Jun 03, 2011

Re: RE: Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#735 » by tuna108 » Mon Mar 5, 2018 1:44 am

Nyk_Fatboy wrote:
Greenie wrote:You all need to leave apps alone. Go find women while doing everday things. Grocery store, mechanics, nail salons(get your feet done). Food spots. Gas stations. Department stores. Malls.



If not you will simply continue to get curved with the quickness.



women in grocery stores = married with kids
women in nail salon = stripper
women at the Mechanics = admires a manly job and wants the D
women in food spots = fat and depressed
women at Gas stations = running from the law
women in malls = gold digger

brilliant post
User avatar
MP4LIFE
Assistant Coach
Posts: 4,177
And1: 3,244
Joined: Jul 15, 2016
 

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#736 » by MP4LIFE » Mon Mar 5, 2018 2:06 am

spree8 wrote:
MP4LIFE wrote:
spree8 wrote:Damn man, you shouldn’t be having a political convo with a girl you just met and especially thru text. And if you are, who cares about that shyt.. just agree with whatever she says. With so much competition out there, you give her the smallest reason and it’s on to the next. That’s where you fuq’d up.


I agree but it wasn’t my choice. She initiated it and, honestly, it was very very important to her so in the long run it wasn’t going to work out because she wanted someone who thought exactly like her. She also was like ‘men can stay home and cook and can take care of the kids too’.



Bruh, you should’ve dipped first lol.


:lol:

True, it wasn’t going to work. I think I just wanted more sex...lol
Dolan's record as owner of NYK as of 4/12/18: 604-854
User avatar
Context
RealGM
Posts: 18,159
And1: 3,881
Joined: Jul 06, 2005
Location: not the circus!
 

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#737 » by Context » Mon Mar 5, 2018 2:19 am

MP4LIFE wrote:
spree8 wrote:Damn man, you shouldn’t be having a political convo with a girl you just met and especially thru text. And if you are, who cares about that shyt.. just agree with whatever she says. With so much competition out there, you give her the smallest reason and it’s on to the next. That’s where you fuq’d up.


I agree but it wasn’t my choice. She initiated it and, honestly, it was very very important to her so in the long run it wasn’t going to work out because she wanted someone who thought exactly like her. She also was like ‘men can stay home and cook and can take care of the kids too’.


no offense my brother but thats how i know you didn't (excuse the term) fu*k her into the ground. If after you have a sex with a women and she doesnt look at you with puppy eyes- you didnt f*ck her right...I dont care what time period we're in- if you dont know how to f*ck a women like that (learn) and if you do but took off for the night - NEVER do that in the beginning...And I agree with Spree stay away from politics. Women know how to avoid certain discussions with a man as well. You need to do the same.

Outside of that - be yourself, be nice but at the same time dont "give a f*ck" too much...
Image
Coach Fiz "I dont want soft guys here-I dont want cup cakes"
User avatar
MP4LIFE
Assistant Coach
Posts: 4,177
And1: 3,244
Joined: Jul 15, 2016
 

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#738 » by MP4LIFE » Mon Mar 5, 2018 2:26 am

Context wrote:
MP4LIFE wrote:
spree8 wrote:Damn man, you shouldn’t be having a political convo with a girl you just met and especially thru text. And if you are, who cares about that shyt.. just agree with whatever she says. With so much competition out there, you give her the smallest reason and it’s on to the next. That’s where you fuq’d up.


I agree but it wasn’t my choice. She initiated it and, honestly, it was very very important to her so in the long run it wasn’t going to work out because she wanted someone who thought exactly like her. She also was like ‘men can stay home and cook and can take care of the kids too’.


no offense my brother but thats how i know you didn't (excuse the term) fu*k her into the ground. If after you have a sex with a women and she doesnt look at you with puppy eyes- you didnt f*ck her right...I dont care what time period we're in- if you dont know how to f*ck a women like that (learn) and if you do but took off for the night - NEVER do that in the beginning...And I agree with Spree stay away from politics. Women know how to avoid certain discussions with a man as well. You need to do the same.

Outside of that - be yourself, be nice but at the same time dont "give a f*ck" too much...


I **** and left. You’re saying **** (good) and stay in the beginning? I couldn’t physically stay.
Dolan's record as owner of NYK as of 4/12/18: 604-854
User avatar
Context
RealGM
Posts: 18,159
And1: 3,881
Joined: Jul 06, 2005
Location: not the circus!
 

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#739 » by Context » Mon Mar 5, 2018 2:27 am

MP4LIFE wrote:
Context wrote:
MP4LIFE wrote:
I agree but it wasn’t my choice. She initiated it and, honestly, it was very very important to her so in the long run it wasn’t going to work out because she wanted someone who thought exactly like her. She also was like ‘men can stay home and cook and can take care of the kids too’.


no offense my brother but thats how i know you didn't (excuse the term) fu*k her into the ground. If after you have a sex with a women and she doesnt look at you with puppy eyes- you didnt f*ck her right...I dont care what time period we're in- if you dont know how to f*ck a women like that (learn) and if you do but took off for the night - NEVER do that in the beginning...And I agree with Spree stay away from politics. Women know how to avoid certain discussions with a man as well. You need to do the same.

Outside of that - be yourself, be nice but at the same time dont "give a f*ck" too much...


I **** and left. You’re saying **** (good) and stay in the beginning? I couldn’t physically stay.

not sure what youre asking?
Image
Coach Fiz "I dont want soft guys here-I dont want cup cakes"
User avatar
Mecca
RealGM
Posts: 29,667
And1: 11,261
Joined: May 26, 2008
   

Re: OT: Is it weird to feel hurt after 2 dates? 

Post#740 » by Mecca » Mon Mar 5, 2018 2:35 am

mrpoetryNmotion wrote:
Mecca wrote:
MP4LIFE wrote:
Bumble, which I think is a step above Tinder.


Welp, there you go. You met her on a dating app. You got your answer.

I use Bumble and Tinder. They're one in the same. The issue is what I said in my first post. Girls who have access or use dating apps are almost impossible to date because they know they have the entire menu on their plate so there's no need to settle for one.

I've dated approximately 15 different women from Tinder/Bumble this Winter alone and can tell you similar things have happened to me. She found a new guy to play with on Bumble or is having second thoughts as she doesn't know what she wants. I'm giving you that advice because it's happened to me so many times before via dating apps.


I kind of disagree or at least think this applies to both sexes so we're back at square one. Dating in this day and age is can be depressing or fun depending on your outlook and how you approach things. Honestly, I've experienced the "having too many options" thing more often than have been a victim to it. I think everyone is just trying to find that mutually realized match and will cut their other options once they find it...or at least won't commit to anything until they do.

Hard to generalize this particular girl, but yeah, she might have found what she deemed a better option. Sex is one thing, but I wouldn't catch feelings until there's some clarification regarding what y'all both are looking for, generally, and what you might be looking for with each other. Sucks to be turned down, but the blessing (and curse) with dating apps is that you can match with someone else tomorrow who could completely make you forget about whatever that two date fling was.


I'm saying online dating. This is because the apps are normally 65/35 male/female ratio with most men being more active and even paid users, thus women have more options.

I normally experience the "having too many options" as well so it definitely is a 2 way street. I'm usually talking to 3-5 girls at one time because only 1 normally hits into sex or something greater. It's almost like sales in a way.
BAF - Brooklyn Nets
1 | Ben Simmons | Trey Burke(6th)
2 | Victor Oladipo | Wayne Ellington | Wade Baldwin
3 | Caris LeVert | Garrett Temple | Jarell Martin
4 | Trey Lyles | Derrick Jones. Jr | Ivan Rabb
5 | Joel Embiid | Moe Wagner | Salah Mejri

Return to New York Knicks