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O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding?

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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#121 » by EricAnderson » Tue May 29, 2018 6:28 pm

Capn'O wrote:
EricAnderson wrote:
Capn'O wrote:I just saw one of my closest female friends solo in NYC this past week. While I was doing that, my wife was meeting up with a close male friend from grad school. Neither of us questioned any portion other than how the logistics would work (NYC is kinda difficult to work with as a now out of towner). We know the other will be trustworthy in those interactions.

With my friend - Maybe if the cards had been dealt differently something might have happened at some point but she was with one of my closest friends in HS and into college and I got to know her well enough to figure out we wouldn't be a good romantic match anyway. Still - if I'm in a pinch or need to wrap my head around a tough situation, she's my go to. That's worth so much more than a **** and duck. Neither of us would ever let that happen and my wife doesn't need to ask.


It can't happen with all female friends and "friends." You need to figure out who can be what. But nor does it with all male friends. Only a few pass the gauntlet into a longer term connection.


I hear you but you’re also married..which helps lol

Thing is these days it’s harder and harder to meet people especially at my age where most of my friends are married with kids.

My friend I’m physically and emotionally attracted to..we always have an awesome time together and seem to have great chemistry

It’s natural to catch feelings in that case.


This was more to others posting that it's not possible to be friends than to your situation where the relationship status still seems fluid. My wife was fine with this woman when we were dating (but not with some others - she knows what's what.)

I do agree with others that advise you to be clear with her about the arrangement (that there's currently only one bed in the room and would she be ok with that) and let any conversation flow from there. A text stating just that should be fine.


I’m not sure what the arrangement is with the beds yet..it depends on availability
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#122 » by Slicin N Dicin » Tue May 29, 2018 6:56 pm

EricAnderson wrote:
Slicin N Dicin wrote:Make it easy on yourself, just let her know what's up and your intentions.

If shes with it, there you go, you're in.

If shes not. Then you dodged an uncomfortable situation and can find another female to go with.

My biggest regret when I was single was just not being straight up. Found out a few months or years after the fact that I would've been successful had I just manned up


I hear you..I just don’t want to live with regret..if she was a random girl I’d have done it by now but because it’s a friend it’s made me overanalyze things..

You’re the first person to tell me to tell her my feelings first.everyone else I talked to said just go in for the kiss..


You'll regret it more by not telling her, trust me dude. Whether it's just a one and done or if you want a relationship, just be straight up.

Problem is, if you go in for the kiss, and she's not with it - it'll make things more awkward between y'all. If you tell her your feelings straight up, there's less of a chance that will impact your friendship b/c you'll have talked it out and it's all out there instead of just going in for the kiss and potentially catching her off guard.

Plus you have plenty of time between now and July, you gonna be anxious for a month, or just get it out there and know what's up. Plus, if she's not with it the first time around, she also has a month to think about it and could change up her mind.

Just my two cents bro, best of luck.
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#123 » by EricAnderson » Tue May 29, 2018 7:05 pm

Slicin N Dicin wrote:
EricAnderson wrote:
Slicin N Dicin wrote:Make it easy on yourself, just let her know what's up and your intentions.

If shes with it, there you go, you're in.

If shes not. Then you dodged an uncomfortable situation and can find another female to go with.

My biggest regret when I was single was just not being straight up. Found out a few months or years after the fact that I would've been successful had I just manned up


I hear you..I just don’t want to live with regret..if she was a random girl I’d have done it by now but because it’s a friend it’s made me overanalyze things..

You’re the first person to tell me to tell her my feelings first.everyone else I talked to said just go in for the kiss..


You'll regret it more by not telling her, trust me dude. Whether it's just a one and done or if you want a relationship, just be straight up.

Problem is, if you go in for the kiss, and she's not with it - it'll make things more awkward between y'all. If you tell her your feelings straight up, there's less of a chance that will impact your friendship b/c you'll have talked it out and it's all out there instead of just going in for the kiss and potentially catching her off guard.

Plus you have plenty of time between now and July, you gonna be anxious for a month, or just get it out there and know what's up. Plus, if she's not with it the first time around, she also has a month to think about it and could change up her mind.

Just my two cents bro, best of luck.


Thanks man..Shes going to Europe for two weeks right before the wedding so I don’t have all that much time..plus I better find out how she feels before she goes off and finds some european dude lol..

And it’s probably better I find out now..if she rejects me at the wedding it would make for a real awkward two and a half hour ride home lol
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#124 » by Mecca » Tue May 29, 2018 7:12 pm

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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#125 » by Mecca » Tue May 29, 2018 7:14 pm

Wow I'm sick I slept on this thread. It's elite content.
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#126 » by Mecca » Tue May 29, 2018 7:18 pm

NY2TheBay wrote:
2010 wrote:
Are We Ther Yet wrote:
Nah. You didn't make any point. Maybe YOU can't be friends with a woman your attracted to. That says more about you than anything else. It's simply not true.


I don't have any female friends I low-key wanna smash. I feel like that ain't being a friend. So I can easily say that speaks something on you and your intentions.

But let me ask you this. Would you be ok with your girl, fiance, wife, etc. having a male "friend" who you know would smash her if she let him?


Mannn. These dudes, I cant stand. They friend the girl, give them stuff, try to get them weak and sneak their way in. Sneaky mofos, I never knocked them but they were never with my crew.


Big facts everywhere. No such thing as an attractive female being best friends with a single, heterosexual guy that is somewhat on same playing field.

Only time that exists is when you're using that girl to get with her hotter friends and I did that in college years ago.

A lot of people being PC in here. I'll be friends w a girl and if I am, it's because I'm leading up to asking them out.
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#127 » by drekwins » Tue May 29, 2018 9:36 pm

Mecca wrote:
NY2TheBay wrote:
2010 wrote:
I don't have any female friends I low-key wanna smash. I feel like that ain't being a friend. So I can easily say that speaks something on you and your intentions.

But let me ask you this. Would you be ok with your girl, fiance, wife, etc. having a male "friend" who you know would smash her if she let him?


Mannn. These dudes, I cant stand. They friend the girl, give them stuff, try to get them weak and sneak their way in. Sneaky mofos, I never knocked them but they were never with my crew.


Big facts everywhere. No such thing as an attractive female being best friends with a single, heterosexual guy that is somewhat on same playing field.

Only time that exists is when you're using that girl to get with her hotter friends and I did that in college years ago.

A lot of people being PC in here. I'll be friends w a girl and if I am, it's because I'm leading up to asking them out.


Exactly. Girls know that there's no such thing as an attractive male friend either. Real talk is that nearly every girl has the following:

1) husband or boyfriend (unless shes single)
2) the public guy friend that she flirts with, trusts and tells everything to/asks for advice (she'll deny the flirting but she's lying through her teeth)
3) the non-public guy she flirts with, trusts and tells everything to but no one knows about (or if the boyfriend/husband does know about their existence, he doesn't want her talking to him but she still does)
4) the ex boyfriend that she'll always have feelings for
5) the dude she thinks is perfect but he doesn't know it
6) the playboy friend that she'll never admit to wanting (she'll probably call him gross) but she will hit him up when she's not feeling confident, is desperate and/or wants emergency attention

At any point, when things go bad with the boyfriend or she's single, all of the others have a chance to make moves.
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#128 » by Clyde_Style » Tue May 29, 2018 10:13 pm

A lot of this thread does read like the male version of Cosmopolitan headlines ginned up with a heavy dose of reductive living in a bubble seduction community rhetoric.
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#129 » by EricAnderson » Tue May 29, 2018 10:36 pm

Clyde_Style wrote:A lot of this thread does read like the male version of Cosmopolitan headlines ginned up with a heavy dose of reductive living in a bubble seduction community rhetoric.


Whats your opinion on my situation?
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#130 » by Clyde_Style » Tue May 29, 2018 10:44 pm

EricAnderson wrote:
Clyde_Style wrote:A lot of this thread does read like the male version of Cosmopolitan headlines ginned up with a heavy dose of reductive living in a bubble seduction community rhetoric.


Whats your opinion on my situation?


Very simple

It sounds like you want to either date or sleep with this girl.

It also appears you were unsure of how to let her know how you truly feel.

That's all normal stuff people go through all the time.

There is some useful advice even from people who really don't know everything but pretend they do, because they are mostly telling you to be upfront with this woman and take it from there.

It will be pretty sketchy for you to proceed to a wedding with a single bed cohabitation without just telling her you do not feel that you can pretend you're doing it as only platonic friends.

If you didn't want to sleep with her, I'm one of those people who think you can be friends with a woman. I've road tripped with female friends and crashed with them in the back of the car. It's not a big deal to me unlike some dudes here.

But we didn't want to sleep with each other.

If you want to sleep with her, suck it up and tell her.

Stop complicating things for yourself and don't listen to the convoluted explanations on male-female relations these experts think are the only way it is. Everybody is who they are. Be yourself, just don't lie about your intentions and you'll land where you're supposed to land with this girl.

Good luck
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#131 » by thebuzzardman » Tue May 29, 2018 10:51 pm

EricAnderson wrote:
Slicin N Dicin wrote:
EricAnderson wrote:
I hear you..I just don’t want to live with regret..if she was a random girl I’d have done it by now but because it’s a friend it’s made me overanalyze things..

You’re the first person to tell me to tell her my feelings first.everyone else I talked to said just go in for the kiss..


You'll regret it more by not telling her, trust me dude. Whether it's just a one and done or if you want a relationship, just be straight up.

Problem is, if you go in for the kiss, and she's not with it - it'll make things more awkward between y'all. If you tell her your feelings straight up, there's less of a chance that will impact your friendship b/c you'll have talked it out and it's all out there instead of just going in for the kiss and potentially catching her off guard.

Plus you have plenty of time between now and July, you gonna be anxious for a month, or just get it out there and know what's up. Plus, if she's not with it the first time around, she also has a month to think about it and could change up her mind.

Just my two cents bro, best of luck.


Thanks man..Shes going to Europe for two weeks right before the wedding so I don’t have all that much time..plus I better find out how she feels before she goes off and finds some european dude lol..

And it’s probably better I find out now..if she rejects me at the wedding it would make for a real awkward two and a half hour ride home lol


You mean bus ride for her, don't you?
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#132 » by Knicks Byke » Tue May 29, 2018 10:53 pm

Nyk_Fatboy wrote:
EricAnderson wrote:I’m taking my friend to a family members wedding as a guest.The weddings two and a half hours away so we’re gonna be staying at a hotel after the wedding in the same bed as well.

People are telling me it’s an aggressive move and implies more then friendship..do you think it does?

We’re friends but I’m not gonna act like the thought of being with her hasn’t crossed my mind I’m just not 100% sure.

Do you think it’s sending strong signals doing this and beyond a platonic friendship?


Those people are cockblocking bro, what you should do is forget about the whole wedding stuff come to my crib and we can have a Ménage à trois


not gay if you dont make eye contact.
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#133 » by NY2k1 » Tue May 29, 2018 11:32 pm

Mecca wrote:
NY2TheBay wrote:
2010 wrote:
I don't have any female friends I low-key wanna smash. I feel like that ain't being a friend. So I can easily say that speaks something on you and your intentions.

But let me ask you this. Would you be ok with your girl, fiance, wife, etc. having a male "friend" who you know would smash her if she let him?


Mannn. These dudes, I cant stand. They friend the girl, give them stuff, try to get them weak and sneak their way in. Sneaky mofos, I never knocked them but they were never with my crew.


Big facts everywhere. No such thing as an attractive female being best friends with a single, heterosexual guy that is somewhat on same playing field.

Only time that exists is when you're using that girl to get with her hotter friends and I did that in college years ago.

A lot of people being PC in here. I'll be friends w a girl and if I am, it's because I'm leading up to asking them out.


Funny. I have female friends that I only see as "friends." And I'm a single heterosexual male. I go on dates with other women I'm actually into like that, or at least potentially.
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#134 » by Clyde_Style » Wed May 30, 2018 1:35 am

Knicks Byke wrote:
Nyk_Fatboy wrote:
EricAnderson wrote:I’m taking my friend to a family members wedding as a guest.The weddings two and a half hours away so we’re gonna be staying at a hotel after the wedding in the same bed as well.

People are telling me it’s an aggressive move and implies more then friendship..do you think it does?

We’re friends but I’m not gonna act like the thought of being with her hasn’t crossed my mind I’m just not 100% sure.

Do you think it’s sending strong signals doing this and beyond a platonic friendship?


Those people are cockblocking bro, what you should do is forget about the whole wedding stuff come to my crib and we can have a Ménage à trois


not gay if you dont make eye contact.


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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#135 » by Knicks Byke » Wed May 30, 2018 1:53 am

Clyde_Style wrote:
Knicks Byke wrote:
Nyk_Fatboy wrote:
Those people are cockblocking bro, what you should do is forget about the whole wedding stuff come to my crib and we can have a Ménage à trois


not gay if you dont make eye contact.


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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#136 » by hawkguy » Tue Jun 5, 2018 6:22 am

Quick question: Is she like this?

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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#137 » by Jeff Van Gully » Tue Jun 5, 2018 11:36 am

Shoutout to all the dudes in here who think their reality is the only possible way life can go.


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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#138 » by Jeff Van Gully » Tue Jun 5, 2018 2:57 pm

Mecca wrote:Wow I'm sick I slept on this thread. It's elite content.


you know you done **** up, right?
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#139 » by Mecca » Tue Jun 5, 2018 4:02 pm

Jeff Van Gully wrote:
Mecca wrote:Wow I'm sick I slept on this thread. It's elite content.


you know you done **** up, right?


per usual :lol:
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Re: O.T.- Is it aggressive to take a women friend as a guest to a wedding? 

Post#140 » by prophet_of_rage » Wed Jun 6, 2018 2:58 pm

A thread this childish should be about Gambino.

You can be friends with a person and find them sexually attractive in a remote sort of way, but not be ever interested in actively pursuing it or making it a priority. Friendship does not exclude or include sexual attraction. Nor does it require you to view women in this Madonna/whore dichotomy of if you have one "impure" thought or impulse then you're really just a sneaky conniving opportunist. You're just a person. She's just a person. Figure it out from there. move on from high school and adding up body counts.

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