Honeydew List for Off-Season

[TheRevTy]

Here are my thoughts on the off-season:

First and foremost, draft Tyler Hansbrough. He could be the gritty PF who won't take no crap that we need. (I see pride, I see power, I see one bad mother who won't no crap off of nobody!)

Call the major Free Agents (Arenas, Brand) and see if there is any possible way they could end up here. Offer them some Mickey Mouse ears, Tiger's phone number, and air-boat ride on Lake Jessup, and a Superman action figure.

Assuming point #2 is unsuccessful, convince Mr. Maggette that coming home is a good thing. A real good thing. Have his parents bake him cookies.

Decide which to keep: Evans or Bogans. I say Evans because he can play SF more proficiently and he can dunk. I think it is a must that the Magic have a player with jersey #1 who can dunk. I don't know why. Trade the other guy.

It is rumored Arroyo wants to go to NY. Sign and Trade him before they fire Isaiah. Don't get Nate Robinson. And if you do get Nate Robinson, assign him to the D-League. Never call him back.

Ask around concerning Hedo. Only trade him if there is a deal that blows your socks off and makes them catch fire on the floor. But inquire nonetheless. There may be a deal that does such a thing. (I have suggested Kirilenko. Why? Well, partly because as a PF, he fits our team very well. Secondly, trading Hedo would greatly diminish our international aspect, and we can't have a bunch of Americans, a dude from the Carribbean, and Marcin Gortat. Hello, Russia!)

Buy new socks. Make sure they are flame-retardant.

Send the starting five to Disneyworld. Nothing builds chemistry like the happiest place on Earth. Have a camera follow them around. Make sure Jameer stuffs his shoes with paper towels so that he can get on all the rides. Make Rashard buy everything.

Call that guy in Spain. Ask for Mrs. Vazquez. Say "No sir, we didn't mean the lady, we meant you." Laugh and hang up. Trade his rights to the Canadian Football League for an old Doug Flutie jersey.

Make Adonal Foyle spend a week in Compton, CA. A guy that looks like that has no excuse for not getting kicked out of at least one game for maiming someone.

Take a nap. (Simply because I feel every to-do list should include this task.)

Finally, design new uniforms, or at least a black one. I'm tired of looking like the New Orleans Hornets meet the Kentucky Wildcats.

There. That is my off-season task list. Now get to work.

[mattyBoi]

Hansborough will be an NBA draft BUST

[Dwightmare]

I hate Psycho T.

[AdamTheGreek]

I'll pass on Tyler, plus he'll go long before our number.

[UCFknight84]

Hansborough can be a David Lee type NBA player but we wont even have the chance to draft him or Kevin Love

[BassMaster]

I'll pass on Tyler, plus he'll go long before our number.

Give me Beasly from KSU if he comes out for the draft you know he will be the number one pick.

[Devin 1L]

Based on the responses thus far, I vote the original post the most underrated post of the day.

[PimpORL]

Change Hansbrough to O.J. Mayo and sure.

[magik9113]

lol, good list.

[cwas2882]

Based on the responses thus far, I vote the original post the most underrated post of the day.

Agreed. I laughed my ass off.

Call that guy in Spain. Ask for Mrs. Vazquez. Say "No sir, we didn't mean the lady, we meant you." Laugh and hang up. Trade his rights to the Canadian Football League for an old Doug Flutie jersey.

Send the starting five to Disneyworld. Nothing builds chemistry like the happiest place on Earth. Have a camera follow them around. Make sure Jameer stuffs his shoes with paper towels so that he can get on all the rides. Make Rashard buy everything.

^^Favorites^^

[lovehoops01]

Here are my thoughts on the off-season:

First and foremost, draft Tyler Hansbrough. He could be the gritty PF who won't take no crap that we need. (I see pride, I see power, I see one bad mother who won't no crap off of nobody!)

What if he doesn't go pro?

Assuming point #2 is unsuccessful, convince Mr. Maggette that coming home is a good thing. A real good thing. Have his parents bake him cookies.

Home for Corey actually is Chicago.

Ask around concerning Hedo. Only trade him if there is a deal that blows your socks off and makes them catch fire on the floor. But inquire nonetheless. There may be a deal that does such a thing. (I have suggested Kirilenko. Why? Well, partly because as a PF, he fits our team very well. Secondly, trading Hedo would greatly diminish our international aspect, and we can't have a bunch of Americans, a dude from the Carribbean, and Marcin Gortat. Hello, Russia!)

Buy new socks. Make sure they are flame-retardant.

So the way to get better is to trade a versatile wing player who can score a lot and pass and been your primary playmaker this season for an injury-prone power forward who once was brought to tears by his coach?

That is my off-season task list. Now get to work.

Shouldn't they focus on finishing the regular season and having a good postseason instead of turning the focus on which members of the current team you want to get rid while they are supposed to be making a playoff run? Isn't that kind of counterproductive to the current season?

[macdalejax]

Regarding original post:

I laughed at some parts but mostly was disappointed because I just wasted about 5 minutes reading it. Sorry, I'm a slow reader.

[TheRevTy]

lovehoops, man, you went on a ridiculous posting spree this evening. It's like when you forget your password for your e-mail, and then finally remember it, so you log on and reply to 20 e-mails out of the blue.

Or maybe I'm the only one who has done that...

In regards to the original post, it actually started as a legitimate list, and by the time I got to the Evans vs. Bogans part, I just figured screw it, might as well be sarcastic.

Thanks to those who responded kindly.

I honestly think Hansbrough would be a "bust" for many other teams, because they would expect him to be a star. If we go in expecting Udonis Haslem type production, he'll fit in just fine.

[TheRevTy]

Macdalejax, just curious if you went in thinking it was going to be a very serious post. As a general rule, if a piece of fruit is a key part of a subject title, it probably won't have many hard-hitting issues. Thanks for taking the time to read through it, though, even if you do regret it

[drsd]

Firstly, the probability that Tyler Hansbrough drops to the mid-twenties is unfathomably low. But further, a small and slow PF will get schooled in the NBA. The Magic would be better suited to just re-up Augustine as a "seasoned" vet than go with Hansbrough as a rookie project.

Secondly, the Magic already have two max guys and without far exceeding the lux tax, a Brand or Arenas cannot be had. And why would either guy want to be the third or forth option? Only a player towards the end of the career does this (like the KG et al. experiment in Boston).

Third, Maggette is an upgrade at starting SG and certainly GM Smith needs to make that phone call.

Forth, agreed fully that Bogans or Evans will be shipped. But further, it could be both. If Maggette is brought in, Redick could be upgraded to backup SG (especially if Dooling is kept as an injury-emergency backup). I also agree that Bogans is more probable to move on.

Fifth, whether Arroyo goes no NYK, NJN, Miami, or elsewhere, one team he seems certain not to play for next year in the Magic.

Sixth, I agree that Turkoglu will be offered as trade bait, but will only be moved if a major roster upgrade can be found. That most certainly means a player who can start at PF and has a multi-year contract on the books. Their are not a lot of such guys that have a salary match to Turkoglu. Hedo's low salary, and inability to match to a high salary guy, is a major reason he probably returns.

Seventh, new socks???

Eighth, Nelson will again have a player-invited camp to bond. A healthy Nelson and a Lewis-with-a-year-on-the-books will work hard with Turkoglu and Howard to integrate the new SG. I do not agree that Disney is the correct idea, as bonding should happen away from the Magic brass, coaching, and training facilities.

Ninth, if Vazquez signs his contract, the Magic have their PF rookie and there is further reasons to not draft Hansbrough. GM Smith ill not "give up" on Fran, as you suggest. But his rights could be part of a trade package. Next year is the year we always expected Fran to play in the NBA. So we have to see how this plays out.

Tenth, Adonal Foyle is likely to evolve into an enforcer. The Magic have lacked this player since the Hammer was not resigned.

Eleventh, GM Smith gets no rest time. Full stop (period).

Twelfth, are these new uniforms also flame resistant???

So, about half of your off-season list is obvious and I fully expect many to play out to a level of plausibility.

[mhectorgato]

(I see pride, I see power, I see one bad mother who won't no crap off of nobody!)

Sanka, you dead?

[mhectorgato]

Macdalejax, just curious if you went in thinking it was going to be a very serious post. As a general rule, if a piece of fruit is a key part of a subject title, it probably won't have many hard-hitting issues. Thanks for taking the time to read through it, though, even if you do regret it

Except when married men see "honeydew" they don't think of fruit first ...

It's usually along these lines (but you already knew that - thus the implied sic):

[WheatThin]

I always though it was "Honey-Do List" anyway. As in "Honey, do this. Do that..."

[mttingly2391]

Love the post man...

But Tyler will be an NBA bust. He also will be available when we pick, because I think he will not go until the late 1st round.

I really think we need to find a way to get Corey. He would be a great starting 2 with this team. Then we just need a rugged PF that can rebound and knock some people down.

I won't get started on the pg situation. Except to say that we don't have one and we need a real one bad.

[mhectorgato]

I always though it was "Honey-Do List" anyway. As in "Honey, do this. Do that..."

s a general rule, if a piece of fruit is a key part of a subject title, it probably won't have many hard-hitting issues.

thus the implied sic