MoGrAdY wrote:http://www.myspace.com/modasilverback
Everyone please check it out. Hate it. Love it. I dont really care, jus gimme the time of day. If you got a Myspace account please add me and leave me a comment. Any and all criticism is welcome. I would like to point out i know the sound quality isnt amazing. I havent been able to save up for da mic or mixer i want yet so Im using a mic built into a cam we have. Da only way to get anywhere with da Myspace scene is listens though so Im countin on you guys to help me out. Thanks guys an I hope you enjoy.
"I love da hataz":
Mo, to be honest, I didn't really like it.
It felt forced.
Some of the similes seemed to be there only because they rhymed, rather than they were lyrical substance which also rhymed.
Secondly, and this ties in with the previous statement, I felt like there was some dissonance with the lyrics and the music. I don't know how the song was assembled, but it "feels" as if you had lyrics with no music and then created the music and forced the lyrics on top of it. It give a sort of freestyle sound to it. You can get by with it freestyling, but with a produced song I don't think you should have this dissonance with awkward stops, chopping, catching your breath, etc. to try and make it fit with the beat.
Also, and I know it's the nature of rap, but I don't feel like much of you were saying was "real". For example, "I got a couple whips that I never drive/I got a couple clips and I let 'em fly." This is more of a personal preference, but if I'm going to listen to something and/or buy it, it either got to blow me away with production and "catchiness" (think Soulja Boy - "Crank Dat") or have some raw and real lyrics that I buy into (think, maybe, Immortal Technique). Unfortunately, this is augmented by the fact that you're white. So you'll probably be perceived as some middle class white kid with no street-cred rappin' about women, whips and guns, etc.
Damn, I feel like I'm doggin' you, and that isn't my intent, but I didn't like the hook either. It got repetitive quick, and sounded odd with a dude saying it. Perhaps if you had a girl doing background with the "l-la-love..." I'm thinking along the lines of Stagga Lee's "Roll Wit MVP" (another white rapper, by the way).
Also, that background "whistle" sounded eerily similar to Biggie's "Big Pappa". I don't know if it was intentional or not, but it's the first thing I noticed.
Ultimately, I'd say this gives anyone who'd be hating on you more fuel. I'd suggest stick to yourself and make it raw and personal, rather than what felt like a dubbed down version of pop-rap. I'm sure you've got a story to tell. Be real; tell it. As a young white middle class rapper, it's going to be hard as hell for you, (as if it isn't hard enough for anyone to be a rapper
), so tell
you're story. I think you'd be best received as a real, raw, lyricist spitting on issues that have affected and molded you. Further, that's probably when your best lyrics and song will surface.
Of course, this is all a matter of opinion, my opinion, but I thought I'd take the time to listen and tell you what I truly thought. If it comes off as harsh, I apologize; but if I didn't give a damn, I wouldn't have took the time and wrote all of that.
Just keep it up.