RealGM

Apparently he pistol whipped some dude at a BBQ

http://edgewater.patch.com/articles/police-seek-edgewater-suspect-in-arnold-assault

Update: 3:50 p.m.: Police report that the suspect was found at his home on Tuesday and taken into custody without incident.

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Police were called to a cookout in the area of Birchcrest Court and Kimwood Road in Arnold just before 8 p.m. on Sunday for a report of a man with a gun who, during an altercation, hit the victim in the face with the gun.

At the scene, police interviewed the 32-year-old victim who told them he was assaulted by Oliver Miller, 41, of the 200 block of Braxton Way in Edgewater, fled in a 2003 BMW X5, according to a police release. Officers searched the area and recovered a Glock pistol magazine, which was held as evidence. They did not find the suspect.

The victim was taken to Anne Arundel Medical Center for treatment of nonlife-threatening injuries.

Police have issued an arrest warrant for Miller. Police said he is black, 7 feet tall, 300 pounds with auburn hair and eyes. The warrant charges him with first- and second-degree assault, reckless endangerment, possessing a handgun, using a handgun in a violent crime, possessing a handgun in a vehicle and disorderly conduct, among other charges.

Dude shouldn't have cut in line.

Shooly wrote:Apparently he pistol whipped some dude at a BBQ

LMAO, i can just see it now.

O was driving his BMW around town and came across some black folk having a BBQ in the park. He parks his car and decides to check out whats going on. As he approaches he notices a banner reading "Johnson Family Reunion". He thinks to himself, "Sheeeeeeeet, i have this in the bag!". He walks up to an elderly man and says, "Aya Pop's, i havent seen you in 15 years, remember me? Im Lil' Lindas son, Ralphie!". After bs'ing the 86 year old, he strolls over to the BBQ. Plate after plate the man consumes, while his "new" family members look on.

Slowly, the Johnson family starts questioning why they dont remember a 7 foot 300 (315 after the BBQ) pound member of their own familia. They approach him with questions, and he starts sweating more profusely than he did while he was consuming 15lbs of Johnson's familys Ribs. Frightened, Oliver pulls out a Glock. With the Johnsons being held at gunpoint to his demands, he orders the cook to server him up some of those pigs feet to go. Scared for his life, the trembling cook puts 3 feet on a plate, before accidentally dropping the 4th to the ground. It wasnt his fault, the gun at his head cause his hands to shake and his knees buckle.

The sight of that beautiful pig flesh hitting the dirt covered ground was enough to cause a hungry man go insane. He reached back like a pimp and pistol whipped his new ho. He continued to grab a few plastic grocery bags filled with condiments and trash before he made his escape.

Before burning out and leaving a patch of burnt rubber on the road, Miller takes a quick look at himself in the rear-view mirror. "Im out of this b*tch! There's no-way they will ever find me!" he thinks to himself. Little did he realize he is the ONLY 7 foot 300lbs black man in the small countryside community of Edgewater.




****UPDATE****

Police have arrested our hero at his home. Seems all that free BBQ worked his digestive system into something nasty and fierce. He was on the crapper when the cops broke his front door down. Not wanting to be caught, Oliver stands up and tries to squeeze his bloated lard ass out the tiny 3' x3' hole that is called a bathroom window. He is stuck. Unfortunately for the cops, O tried to go out the window arms and head 1st, and didnt even bother spending the few seconds to pull up his pants, let alone wipe his ass. Thats the image the cops have burned into their skulls as they breach the bathroom door.

[ fat joke goes here ]

Damn!!! Guess he's taking the Barkley seminar in public displays of aggression. What am I gonna do with my Big O jersey now?

At least he gave us this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFe-71tNPQk

jlove_26 wrote:Damn!!! Guess he's taking the Barkley seminar in public displays of aggression. What am I gonna do with my Big O jersey now?

Wear it with pride, and as a reminder to others to never take the last pice of cornbread

jlove_26 wrote:Damn!!! Guess he's taking the Barkley seminar in public displays of aggression. What am I gonna do with my Big O jersey now?

Fashion it into a parachute.

ohohoho Remember this?? )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF1vYO-vtCM

When the local paper had this article yesterday my mind played tricks on me and im not even joking. They ran it under the title ' Oliver Miller assaults man at BBQ' or something like that. But when I read it my eyes played tricks on me and omitted the word man so I thought it actually said 'Oliver Miler assaults BBQ or something like that-I actually had to do a double take. Then laugh for about 5 minutes lol.

Never mess with a 300 lb man with a 7'7" wingspan.

I'm honestly proud of him for only being around 300 lbs. Although, that approximate was probably taken before the BBQ.

Police have issued an arrest warrant for Miller. Police said he is black, 7 feet tall, 300 pounds with auburn hair and eyes.

I would have thought he would be a lot more than that.