OT: Simmons on Trade Value
Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 4:19 pm
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/090212
36. Amare Stoudemire
Bruce in Phoenix recently begged me, "Can you hold off on the Trade Value column until some GM is dumb enough to offer us too much for Amare? I don't want them to know that he sucks now!" Hey, Bruce? I think they know. Why do you think you're getting so many pu-pu platter offers? It would help if Amare grabbed a rebound or switched correctly on a high screen more than twice per quarter. I still say the Amare era is salvageable -- stick the kid on a team with a good point guard (Chicago?), tell him to just worry about putting the biscuit in the basket (New York? G-State?), or trade for him and say, "We love you, you're our franchise guy" (Sacramento? Memphis? Indiana?) and I think he'd start slapping up 29-9s again. With a smile on his face.
23. Steve Nash
He's the Jennifer Aniston of the NBA: A sympathetic figure who brings a ton to the table and just wanted to have kids (or in Nash's case, win one title), only now his window is closing and he's considering the sperm donor route (or in Nash's case, a mercy trade to a contender with a better chance of winning, like Portland). By the way, Sarver is absolutely Angelina Jolie in this analogy -- he ruined everything and doesn't even feel bad about it. The Shaq trade equals the time Jennifer's wasting by dating John Mayer -- ultimately, it's a wasted year for her ovaries. Amare Stoudemire was Brad Pitt, the guy who should have made it happen and didn't. And I think Marc Stein was Us Weekly.
36. Amare Stoudemire
Bruce in Phoenix recently begged me, "Can you hold off on the Trade Value column until some GM is dumb enough to offer us too much for Amare? I don't want them to know that he sucks now!" Hey, Bruce? I think they know. Why do you think you're getting so many pu-pu platter offers? It would help if Amare grabbed a rebound or switched correctly on a high screen more than twice per quarter. I still say the Amare era is salvageable -- stick the kid on a team with a good point guard (Chicago?), tell him to just worry about putting the biscuit in the basket (New York? G-State?), or trade for him and say, "We love you, you're our franchise guy" (Sacramento? Memphis? Indiana?) and I think he'd start slapping up 29-9s again. With a smile on his face.
23. Steve Nash
He's the Jennifer Aniston of the NBA: A sympathetic figure who brings a ton to the table and just wanted to have kids (or in Nash's case, win one title), only now his window is closing and he's considering the sperm donor route (or in Nash's case, a mercy trade to a contender with a better chance of winning, like Portland). By the way, Sarver is absolutely Angelina Jolie in this analogy -- he ruined everything and doesn't even feel bad about it. The Shaq trade equals the time Jennifer's wasting by dating John Mayer -- ultimately, it's a wasted year for her ovaries. Amare Stoudemire was Brad Pitt, the guy who should have made it happen and didn't. And I think Marc Stein was Us Weekly.