Amare's options
Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:59 pm
I whipped up a couple options for Amare to get him back on the court asap with style.
Option A:
We need Amare now, not in 3 months, so just take the damn eyeball out! Two eyeballs are for roleplayers, superstars can rock one and still look good. This piece features a decorative patch blinged out to full capacity, saying "don't get caught in my glimmer while I'm dunking on your face." It also prepares him for every Halloween and Pirates of the Caribbean party from here on out. Replica patches will be offered at the Suns Team Shop.
Option B:
This is for the Amare that recovers quickly but can't stand the plain old glasses that are prescribed to him. Spice them up with yet again more bling, 4 and 6 carat conflict-free diamonds to be exact, distracting the offender with his impeccable taste while he drives the lane for a wham bam blam.
Option C:
Bionic Amare. Human eyeballs are for humans. Amare is a finely tuned dominating machine. Let's outfit him as such. His new eye has 1 million times more color shade recognition, and depth perception assisted by radar. It is also equipped with infrared vision, helping him find which opponent is the most overheated so he can hand select the weakest enemy to dominate and humiliate. Oh, I forgot to mention the laser beam. Yes, it shoots freakin laser beams.
Or he can just go with these:
Option A:
We need Amare now, not in 3 months, so just take the damn eyeball out! Two eyeballs are for roleplayers, superstars can rock one and still look good. This piece features a decorative patch blinged out to full capacity, saying "don't get caught in my glimmer while I'm dunking on your face." It also prepares him for every Halloween and Pirates of the Caribbean party from here on out. Replica patches will be offered at the Suns Team Shop.
Option B:
This is for the Amare that recovers quickly but can't stand the plain old glasses that are prescribed to him. Spice them up with yet again more bling, 4 and 6 carat conflict-free diamonds to be exact, distracting the offender with his impeccable taste while he drives the lane for a wham bam blam.
Option C:
Bionic Amare. Human eyeballs are for humans. Amare is a finely tuned dominating machine. Let's outfit him as such. His new eye has 1 million times more color shade recognition, and depth perception assisted by radar. It is also equipped with infrared vision, helping him find which opponent is the most overheated so he can hand select the weakest enemy to dominate and humiliate. Oh, I forgot to mention the laser beam. Yes, it shoots freakin laser beams.
Or he can just go with these: