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So, since the Jazz have been playing rather poorly, and it appears that their basketball IQ has gone into the gutter, it's time to give them a little cultural experience to brighten their day, and their minds!

Starting for your UTAH JAZZ

At Point Guard

Deron "Michelangelo" Williams



Widely regarded as one of the greatest achievements in creative human history. David is an absolute model of perfection.

At Shooting Guard

Ronnie "Warhol" Brewer



Often overlooked when remembering great artists in the history of time. Although his art was commonly a reflection of those around him, his innate eye for seeing what others couldn't benefited him greatly.

At Small Forward

Andrei "Georgia" Kirilenko



Although many believe O'Keeffe only worked in one medium, she was a very versatile artists. Most of her art reminds you of a vag.

At Power Forward

Carlos "Serra" Boozer



Richard Serra's artwork is both massively powerful, and intimidatingly large, it's real beauty is it underlying smoothness.

At Center

Mehmet "Dali" Okur



His artwork is complex, and deceptive. At first look it appears a bit messy and hectic, but with closer examination you will see that there is much more to this package then meets the eye.

And now, the Houston Rockets

At point guard

Rafer "Crappy" Graffiti



The guy thinks he's a product of the streets, when really he's just garbage.

At shooting guard

Tracy "Your parents are lying to you" McGrady



He's the guy who everyone told him he was really good at what he did, even though they just said it to be nice, and now he has taken it way farther then he should have and it's kind of embarrassing but nobody will tell him.

At small forward

Shane "Kitsch" Battier



Seriously dude.

At power forward

Luis "Mongoloid" Scola



Kind of looks like a handicapped kid did it so you hang it on the fridge, but really it doesn't belong there.

Dikembe "prehistoric" Mutomobo



People love it because it's really old, but really all it is is someone throwing a hand up there, not the biggest deal in the world.

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The Jazz need to put an end to all this tom foolery and finish this up to get ready for the Lakers, this game is the perfect opportunity to show why the ESA is the hardest place to play in the NBA.

LETS GET IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Richard Serra reference! Man, I love this

Great game thread!!

Jazz will put their poor performance behind them and will finish off this series!

DAMN, that was one nice game thread. I got several chuckles.

Nice work.

Terrific game thread. I love the picture of the graffiti. sweet. Hopefully all the jazz need is a nice home game.

Nice theme for the thread.

As for the Jazz.....everything comes down to this game. If we don't come out and not only win, but do so in a convincing manner, then I am washing my hands of any serious title aspirations for this season.

This series long offensive slump has gone on for far longer than any reasonable explanation could justify. If we are as good as we (the fans) and we (the players) think we are, than it is time to put up or stfu. I'm amazed I'm typing these words right now. This series looked like a yawner going into it. Now I'm genuinely nervous.

Pretty classic, Bat. And I'm glad the game thread's back in your hands. We haven't lost with one of yours yet, have we?

Well the Rockets are back in form with Alston back. I really don't like our chances too much in a game 7, so lets finish them off. In a way I'm glad that we played the hottest team of the calender year, because we need to wake up for future rounds, because it's looking like LA and SA for future rounds, and maybe even Boston at the end? Four tough as hell series to win a title. I for one hope we win it all, but for me it's all about atleast advancing past the Lakers for a little satisfaction. I can live with losing in the WCF if she showed that we improved from last year.

This is the first time I've felt like this series was in doubt. Great credit to the Rockets for making me think in those terms. All I know is, they better man the **** up and take care of business on their home court. Don't bring that weak Game 5 ****.

A first round loss would be humiliating to the team and to the fan base.

if jazz dont win tonight, its over. hopefully booz plays like this game means something, he's been absent all series. if he doesn't show, we're done

I hate that the game is still a day away, this series is going so slow, I feel like I'm watching the NFL playoffs or something.

The Rockets have been giving it their all, and for the first time the other night the Jazz just kind of stepped back and said okay, you take this one.

Jazz gave up late in the second quarter and it showed. Unfortunately it seems like this series has come down to whoever goes on their offensive run first wins the game.

So, the Jazz need to go out and build up a lead to begin or be in danger of scaring themselves out of a win. I have no doubt that they can do it, and I do feel like they will win this game and close out the annoying Rockets, but it's going to be tough, but I think they know that.

*rawr*

i know it's really not all that realistic. i'm not underestimating the rockets. but if the jazz don't win in double digits i will be dissapointed...it's going to show alot about their attitude about the game and their jobs if they come out and just take over in a convincing manner. They need to have a little pride after being raped of it on tuesday.

great thread. deron is mesmerizing.

I'm over this series. It's been long and agonizing, it just needs to end. The Jazz need to stop playing the Rockets game, get out and run and finish these guys. This series is soon to be over, I hate that I have to wait until tomorrow for it to end.

I'm glad you assigned a picture of a senior citizen cooch to andrei.

Good representation of how he played in game 5.

I'm with everybody else about this game. We lose and it is over. I am looking for our bench to actually do something. I couldn't believe all the weird turnovers we had in game 5. I don't see the bench not showing up or the weird turnovers happening again.

Another thing... I have been thinking about Boozer and his performance so far and the reason he has struggled. I think Boozer has a tendency to take himself out of the flow of the game in an effort to get himself going early. While I think it is critical that Boozer starts the game off well, I don't like watching him try to do it at the team's expense. He shoots a lot of jumpers fairly early in the offense and doesn't hit the boards as aggressively. He needs to quit worrying so much about getting his personal game going and focus on attacking the defense, setting good and LEGAL screens, and doing some of dirty work on the boards and down low. I like us a lot better when Boozer is looking for the open man or getting deep in the paint off of cuts. I don't like us when he is setting up for 20 foot jumper after jumper just in hopes that he knocks one down and gets his game going.

Blah.

Anyways... I think the bench brings it and Tmac starts chucking the game away. I think we win by 13.

I just think the Jazz will find their stride and take this game. Houston will put up a good fight in they first half, but the Jazz will take this game comfortably at the end.

you know what boozer needs to do? get out of the key in 3 seconds. We gave giricek so much crap for his little pump-sidestep-travel move, yet boozer gets at least one 3 second call every game. it's a huge momentum killer. and it's not like he's only there for 3 seconds, they usually call it at 5 or 6. come on!

I have despair in my soul. This team has showed very little fight of late.

Racer X wrote:I have despair in my soul. This team has showed very little fight of late.

After being in the position they were in being up 2-0 going home to the best Home Court in the league I am not surprised this young team has hiccuped a little bit.

They will find themselves tomorrow, and the Rockets will be victimized.