Transcript of Meeting between Heisley and Iverson

Jammer · Post #1 » by **Jammer** » Mon Sep 7, 2009 2:29 pm

Note: All in Jest. This fictional meeting is All in Jest, and does not come from a Grizzlies fan.

The Players

Michael Heisley: Memphis Grizzlies Owner
Allen Iverson: 34 Year Old 5' 11.75" Has Been
Leon Rose: Allen Iverson's Agent
Chris Wallace: Heisley Flunky (Officially Memphis Grizzlies GM)

Heisley
So, Allen, you're finally ready to join the Grizzles.

Iverson (Allen sips his 6th shot of Jack Daniels)
You're the high bidder.

Heisley
You sound like my last wife.

Iverson
And I get to start, and take 20 shots a night.

Heisley
That's Funny, my wife likes to start after about 20 shots, too.

Wallace (to Heisley)
Hey boss, what about OJ Mayo and Mike Conley, Jr.??

Heisley
We've saturated the market with their jersey's. It's time for a new SupaStar.

Wallace
But what do we do once the season starts and folks realize Allen's lost his game?

Leon Rose (Allen's Agent)
Then it will be time to talk buyout.

Heisley
Buyout?

Leon Rose
Sure. $3.5 Million for 50 games. Then you let Allen walk. You set him free from this purgatory of a cellar dwellar.

Wallace
I'm against that on principle. Actually, I'm against signing Iverson; but the Boss thinks that there will be ten million Chinese wearing Allen Iverson Memphis jerseys this season.

Heisley
Ten million! There will be 20 million Chinese wearing Iverson Grizzlies jersey's by Christmas.

Leon Rose
Great. So, then you'll have no objections to buying Allen out for full salary before March.

Heisley
What !!!!!

Leon Rose
That's right. You sell your 20 million A.I. Memphis jerseys in China, and Allen gets to play for a real team in the playoffs. You set him free.

Wallace
It's against league rules to agree to a buyout in advance.

Leon Rose
Then forget about those 20 million Memphis jersey's in China.

Heisley
Allen, nailing you down is like nailing the Prom Queen.

Wallace (muttering under his breath)
A Prom Queen with pimples and warts under her makeup.

Iverson
And I don't have to come to practice. And if I do come, I can just watch the other guys.

Heisley
That's not the routine.

Leon Rose
It's Allen Iverson's routine. Been that way his entire career. You wouldn't want to mess with success, would you?

Heisley
I guess not.

Wallace (to Heisley)
Your HIGHness, to protect the team, why don't we put incentives in for total minutes played, and total games played, in case Iverson does decide to walk out on us before the end of the season??

Leon Rose
No fair, you can't anticipate the future. On second thought, how about a $1 million bonus if Zach Randolf punches Allen, which is gonna happen?

Wallace (muttering)
(I'd like to punch him myself)
Actually, that's one bonus I'll agree to. It will be worth the wait.

Leon Rose (whispering to Allen Iverson)
We warned 'em. Just sign the contract, and come February, you'll explain that you might have to miss the rest of the season due to your being a pain in the a**, err, I mean, due to a pain in your knee.

Iverson
Don't you mean the pain in my head from my hangovers?

Rose
Nah, you been playing with them your whole life.

Heisley
Allen, would you please pass me the Jack Daniels bottle? I'm ready for a drink, now.

Iverson (to Heisley)
It looks like Mr. Wallace has finished the rest of the bottle.

Postscript: Fast Forward 5 months. With Yao Ming injured, 200 Million Chinese make Allen Iverson the leading vote getter in the All-Star game, earning him a starting spot in the backcourt alongside Kobe Bryant.

AILebronMelo · Post #2 » by **AILebronMelo** » Mon Sep 7, 2009 5:55 pm

Jammer wrote:Note: All in Jest. This fictional meeting is All in Jest, and does not come from a Grizzlies fan.

The Players

Michael Heisley: Memphis Grizzlies Owner
Allen Iverson: 34 Year Old 5' 11.75" Has Been
Leon Rose: Allen Iverson's Agent
Chris Wallace: Heisley Flunky (Officially Memphis Grizzlies GM)

Heisley
So, Allen, you're finally ready to join the Grizzles.

Iverson (Allen sips his 6th shot of Jack Daniels)
You're the high bidder.

Heisley
You sound like my last wife.

Iverson
And I get to start, and take 20 shots a night.

Heisley
That's Funny, my wife likes to start after about 20 shots, too.

Wallace (to Heisley)
What about OJ Mayo and Mike Conley, Jr., Boss?

Heisley
We've saturated the market with their jersey's. It's time for a new SupaStar.

Wallace
But what do we do once the season starts and folks realize Allen's lost his game?

Leon Rose (Allen's Agent)
Then it will be time to talk buyout.

Heisley
Buyout?

Leon Rose
Sure. $3.5 Million for 50 games. Then you let Allen walk. You set him free from this purgatory of a cellar dwellar.

Wallace
I'm against that on principle. Actually, I'm against signing Iverson; but the Boss thinks that there will be ten million Chinese wearing Allen Iverson Memphis jerseys this season.

Heisley
Ten million! There will be 20 million Chinese wearing Iverson Grizzlies jersey's by Christmas.

Leon Rose
Great. So, then you'll have no objections to buying Allen out for full salary before March.

Heisley
What !!!!!

Leon Rose
That's right. You sell your 20 million A.I. Memphis jerseys in China, and Allen gets to play for a real team in the playoffs. You set him free.

Wallace
It's against league rules to agree to a buyout in advance.

Leon Rose
Then forget about those 20 million Memphis jersey's in China.

Heisley
Allen, nailing you down is like nailing the Prom Queen.

Wallace (muttering under his breath)
A Prom Queen with pimples and warts under her makeup.

Iverson
And I don't have to come to practice. And if I do come, I can just watch the other guys.

Heisley
That's not the routine.

Leon Rose
It's Allen Iverson's routine. Been that way his entire career. You wouldn't want to mess with success, would you?

Heisley
I guess not.

Wallace (to Heisley)
Your HIGHness, to protect the team, why don't we put incentives in for total minutes played, and total games played, in case Iverson does decide to walk out on us before the end of the season??

Leon Rose
No fair, you can't anticipate the future. On second thought, how about a $1 million bonus if Zach Randolf punches Allen, which is gonna happen?

Wallace (muttering)
(I'd like to punch him myself)
Actually, that's one bonus I'll agree to. It will be worth the wait.

Leon Rose (whispering to Allen Iverson)
We warned 'em. Just sign the contract, and come February, you'll explain that you might have to miss the rest of the season due to your being a pain in the a**, err, I mean, due to a pain in your knee.

Iverson
Don't you mean the pain in my head from my hangovers?

Rose
Nah, you been playing with them your whole life.

Heisley
Allen, would you please pass me the Jack Daniels bottle? I'm ready for a drink, now.

Iverson (to Heisley)
It looks like Mr. Wallace has finished the rest of the bottle.

Postscript: Fast Forward 5 months. With Yao Ming injured, 200 Million Chinese make Allen Iverson the leading vote getter in the All-Star game, earning him a starting spot in the backcourt alongside Kobe Bryant.

Your life must really be boring!

MattBoner · Post #3 » by **MattBoner** » Mon Sep 7, 2009 7:04 pm

that wasn't funny at all

24K_Gold · Post #4 » by **24K_Gold** » Tue Sep 8, 2009 9:35 pm

wow! you forgot the coach...he was there to.do it over but this time add the coach in.

old rem · Post #5 » by **old rem** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 2:02 pm

24K_Gold wrote:wow! you forgot the coach...he was there to.do it over but this time add the coach in.

Oh C'mon, Iverson hasn't listened to a coach in years....probably neither has Heisley.....

syxx87 · Post #6 » by **syxx87** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 4:26 pm

point?

rasta_marley · Post #7 » by **rasta_marley** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 1:47 am

hahaha Thjat was hilarious..... I was laughing my ******** of hahaha and probaly a little true.... no I am looking forward to see if iverson and randolph can do something tough I do kinda doubt it... soo glad we got rid a zach.