The epic golden basketball thread encompassing all awesmness

BruceO · Post #1 » by **BruceO** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 2:44 pm

So sue me, it's the offseason. And yes it's slightly exageratted. My friends and I would always write stories then hijack the storyline from each other .free to continue the story before it gets locked or lives.

On a basketball ball court in a land far far away the basketball gods marvelled over the epicity and smoothness of the basketball player , who was epic (yes I used this twice) in his game. They gave him their food, he drank their wine, ate their cookies, Slept with their women ( and no his name was not wilt chamberlain).
So now that I've introduced myself I have to adress all the rumours. Yes, I know I'm the keyser soze of basketball. And yes I dunked on the entire team USA from (1979- present) which is interesting because I wasn't born in 79. Yes everytime a wnba player touches a basketball player she is reminded of my smoothness. Yes, Everytime she touches it she does so with thoughts of me.Yes that cat fight in detroit was about me. yes sheldon williams came second......Actually if we are been technical.. (begins to count on his 12 fingers..yes i know i said twelve so i can exagerrate my basketball prowess)

I am the basketball that refuses to go in and gets stuck
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJVqYbXd ... re=related
yes i know the boy gets stuck but since I am all things basketball the boy might as well be the ball

I am the soft touching moments in the NBA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBx8LSwq ... re=related

I am one of the most upstanding basketball players to have played in the NBA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCsYZexSyNw
I know I know, but i'm pretty convinced he was "upstanding"

I am the work the players do within the community (regardless of the community) skip to the 3 minute mark but the 5:30 minute mark is priceless
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUuqL8M97Kw

I am one of the greatest to use a combination of basketball and tramps..
not this kind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDhcfB4Qg5c

the other kind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfhbuGJYW2A

I am everything basketball..

except this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARWTIqyKn5o

too emo...

So Am I the meanest?

Sho’Nuff!

Am I the prettiest?

Sho’Nuff!

Am I the baddest mo-fo, low-down, around this town?

Sho’Nuff!

Well, who am I?

Sho’Nuff!

Who am I?

Sho’Nuff!

I can’t hear you!

Sho’Nuff!

The Shogun of Harlem!

BruceO · Post #2 » by **BruceO** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 2:48 pm

and then I dunked.
Except it was this thread into the board... time for my free throws
YAy YAy

closg00 · Post #3 » by **closg00** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 3:14 pm

I smell a IBTL so

IBTL

mohammed10 · Post #4 » by **mohammed10** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 3:16 pm

closg00 wrote:I smell a IBTL so

IBTL

+1

IBTL, baby!

tkunit · Post #5 » by **tkunit** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 3:33 pm

yeah see we have a more epic thread called the not so random thought thread and an even thrice epic thread about the profit himself.

doclinkin · Post #6 » by **doclinkin** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 3:59 pm

Naysayers and philistines be banished.

For lo there came a day amid the darkness, when the ping ping ping of the basketball was heard in the eternal night, dribbling on blacktop within the shadow unseen by all. The shape of the echoes understood only by bats and moths. This game of basketball was nothing. The nets may have been hung, the lines painted, but all was night. Then came that ping ping ping. A solitary man dribbling. Sleeping minds stirred, restless, a small thrill of something unknown called them.

And I bent my mighty thews, the thews of the proverbial dentist, and jumped, rose then into the sky like almighty retribution and dunked the sun into it's place. And if it hangs there to this day and your chainlinks shine bright or rusty, your glass glitters on the concrete, thank me. For before me was naught but formless darkness, and afterwards, all that shines.

In before what, I locksmithed yo momma's chastity belt? Slipped in like a ninja lothario. Wicked like like the Plumber named Wario.

I ain't resurrecting the poetry thread since they killed it. But we need a place for tall tales lies true stories and braggadoccio. I'm in this.

BruceO · Post #7 » by **BruceO** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 4:28 pm

my last awesome post either showed up thrice or isn't around

all i wanted to say was this..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNgWQfOd ... re=related

BruceO · Post #8 » by **BruceO** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 4:29 pm

Erm if this shows up consider the post order in reverse. Nothing is linear in this world. First things firs Doc. Don't mind if I doooo......
I am the chris paul of stealing lines from people. It's lying in the bed of my signature spent from the good time it just had with me

But to more important matters Oh sun god Doc, oh great one who dunked the sun into its place. I am worried about these mortals who do not know about their basketball gods. They are straying from us. I am worried about the sheep, the children.
I sent them a messiah and all they said is IBTL. I know it means (Is Bruceo The Lord?) or like yoda would say Bruceo Is Uh Lord The

which incidentally I use the Acronym BUILT for. Thank you Yoda. As far as the IBTL people or like i said before Is BruceO The Lord people or the people who are wondering about BUILT this should be evidence enough of that

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNgWQfOd ... re=related

BruceO · Post #9 » by **BruceO** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 4:53 pm

I know the link before covers a really, really, really huge subject. For politically correct reasons heres the opposite since i can't technically be only a dude

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10i17NNu ... re=related

now that that's done I have to reaffirm my masculinity
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs

When god gives you lemons, you find a new god!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-3qncy5Qfk

BTw at the beginning of the thread I felt speed bumps, did you?

FreeBalling · Post #10 » by **FreeBalling** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 7:04 pm

Your post made me re-member this video.

Watch the video and you will know why.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMNry4PE93Y

POST PAD........

BruceO · Post #11 » by **BruceO** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:33 pm

and then one day one of the basketball gods said to the other, "bruceO, why don't we send them a messiah to be a reflection of your godhead to shine upon the mortals with a such brilliance their minds cannot encompass. To sun people, but really be your moon oh great sungod.

And I said unto him nah My nizzle, last time I sent Kobizzle down dizzle he looked in the mizzle and thought he was mizzle. Besides i ain't trying to get no colorizzle shizzle and right now its just a drizzle. Now get off my chistle and get me a sandwich before i put a cap in your ass. Which is latin for no my black comrade, last time I sent kobe down to earth he looked in the mirror and since he was a reflection of myself thought he was me. Besides I don't want the trash at colorado to reoccur and I want to save the next one for a rainy day. Now get off my lap and go get me a sandwich before I decide this is a dictatorship.

Also come to find out that when I created the best player in the world and put him in a manger, Kobe snuck in wearing diapers, threw the other baby out of the cot and stole his identity. Now paul pierce is back and is claiming he was hurt when he landed.

I personally elect Gilbert just so I can get invited to playboy mansion type parties at his new grotto with the mountain that he and I decided we were going to call "the big 0 where everything gushes forth from in frothy excitement" (0 the number not the letter) and every wednesday (because its hump day) we will have bunnies running around in skimpy outfits who would rather run around naked cause you know how bunnies are.
I do wonder though, how are we going to be able to get rabbits, and then dress them up...