Severn Hoos wrote:GhostsOfGil wrote:Funny quote from TAI about Porter:JOHN CONVERSE TOWNSEND
Otto Porter – F, Georgetown
Imagine you’re at a speed-dating event. You make your rounds, but no one really excites you. There was one girl, however, who did catch your attention. We’ll call her Portia (oddly pronounced “Otto Porter”).
What was it about her? The Georgetown education? Possibly. Maybe it was because you were certain you’d seen her around the city … somewhere, sometime. Most likely it was the fact that her mother, Joan (pronounced “John Thompson III”), was hovering behind her, interjecting into your conversation with things like “Marry her!” and “She’s perfect for you, man” and “Can’t you see that she’s the most eligible bachelerotte here?”
Joan freaked you out a bit, but perhaps she was right. You were lonely and it was summer and it seemed like all of your friends were getting married.
It could work out, you tell yourself. Portia did have long legs and while boring, awkward and homely, she wasn’t a total buzz kill.
So, you swap digits and find out she lives a few block from your place. You date for a bit and, after a few months, you decide to get hitched. Joan finds out—she’s thrilled, of course. Portia is excited. You’re nervous, but in the week leading up to the big day, you successfully convince yourself that marrying Portia is something you need to do.
The wedding goes smoothly. The marriage … well, it has its ups and downs. You don’t have any major complaints, but you just can’t shake the feeling that you made the wrong decision.
Fin.
That's good - but maybe you bring in Paul Harvey to tell you "the rest of the story"?
So a few years down the road, you're still wondering whatever happened to the One That Got Away. You let yourself be talked into the less exciting girl, and find yourself thinking what life would be like with that one girl that caught your eye.
And then you turn on the local news and see a report that she just got arrested for knocking off her old man. And he's her 3rd husband. Oh, and based on the mug shot, she's ballooned up to around 200#.
And you go back to your boring wife, fully content that you avoided the drama, chaos, and pain that could have been yours if you had gone with the "exciting" girl.
Nice but I was waiting for the additional embellishment that when they
started looking at the accidental deaths of her first 2 husbands, things
looked at little fishy (not you Ben).
