dorianwrite wrote:So, CCJ: you agree that neither John Amaechi nor any other gay player has been hovering, leering, or doing anything else (except for existing; "go straighten your hair and lighten your skin; it's upsetting me") that would make their teammates uncomfortable in the locker room. You agree that Haywood's "take" on Marbury was "pretty specious" -- or, indeed, that the idea is specious that gay players are sitting around lusting after their teammates. Yet you don't see any problem with a specious argument being aired publicly, and you do see a problem with the group of people who are slandered getting upset and reacting publicly? You support the bigot speaking his mind, but not those offended by his bigotry?
Are you thinking this situation through clearly?
First of all, dorian, I actually waited a few hours to respond to this post just to give you the respect I think you deserve.
I think the most reasoned response I could give you is that in general I think it's absurd to think a gay athlete would sit around lusting after teammates. Anyone who thinks this is "what homosexuals do" is in fact a bigot as far as I'm concerned.
As far as specious arguments being aired publicly, it happens all the time. I've got no problem with stupidity and leave it up to each individual to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.
I don't percieve Brendan or his argument to display bigotry. I see where the gay porn comment did cross the line of good taste. And YES, I do see how you, a person that works with youth, and also youth who happen to identify as gay would be VERY OFFENDED or DEEPLY HURT by Brendan's remarks. It's like he's throwing stones at a group that's often targeted by hate, and that he COULD be a hater himself.
That's my response, hopefully thought through more clearly, dorianwrite.
Haywood's retraction, as you know, was half-hearted, insincere, and probably team- or handler-written. (In a way, it would be great if athletes who were bigoted -- and yes, Haywood's comments, even if they seem silly, are bigotry -- would stick by their claims rather than issuing these crap apologies. Then we could really have a sincere debate and maybe educate more people.) Still, there's a sign of potential progression in Haywood's response to the blog posting that was cited earlier in this thread; it was a sincere and reasonable criticism of him, and he responded in a reasonable way. Do I think that Haywood is going to lose his prejudices overnight? Of course not, but as long as we're able to acknowledge our prejudices, feel embarrassed by them, and attempt to change, that's progress. I hope Haywood gets there.
This is where we agree--somebody made him make that apology, most likely.
I bet Brendan would have stuck by his original statement, and that an educated debate might have taken place if not for the knee jerk response of Wiz management and hypervigilant media. Make him apologize so they aren't held liable or don't lose a piece of their market is the concern. That's not on Brendan IMO. You can't blame him if the apology wasn't his idea to begin with.
I think he should be free to believe what he wants and express his opinion as long as he doesn't tangibly hurt or threaten others.
Last point for now, since you asked "so what about Haywood and his opinion?": as much as I've never looked to athletes as models of thought and behavior, many people, especially kids, do. By continuing to air these tired stereotypes of predatory gays in the locker room, Haywood serves to perpetuate hostility toward gay people, especially among the young. As someone who works with kids all the time in his job, I see the negative effects of homophobia on both gay kids who are harassed and feel under attack and straight kids, mostly boys, who feel it necessary to try to live up to some arbitrary standard of how their gender "should" act and think. It's harmful and it needs to stop.
Honestly, dorian, if you hadn't posted this I wouldn't have seen how what he said could have hurt the feelings of a young person. I see now.
Thanks for enlightening me, dorian.
