The NBA Franchise Name Game: Baltimore Edition
Posted: Fri Feb 1, 2013 1:25 am
Inspired by the recent re-branding efforts in New Orleans, my friends and I - drunken buffoons that we are - decided it would be fun to try to come up with names for NBA teams in cities that don't actually have a team. (Why didn't we rename current NBA teams? Because that's stupid. The Lakers will always be the Lakers, even though there's like one and a half lakes in all of southern California. The Jazz will always be the Jazz, even though dancing is illegal after 10pm in Utah.)
Many laughs and nods of agreement were to be had as we spent a good couple of hours knocking back Newcastles and creating franchises out of thin air. Then one of us threw the city of Baltimore out there, and promptly stumped the rest of us. Sure, we were able to come up with the obligatory 'Wire' inspired team names, but when it came down to actually come up with something usable, we all drew a blank.
We all agreed that the Bullets was one of the absolute best team names not just in basketball, but all of sports. We also agreed that there's just no way in hell a team could successfully carry that name today, with national sensitivity to guns and violence being at an all-time high. Way back in the 70's the Memphis Pros of the ABA moved to Baltimore and were originally renamed the Baltimore Hustlers; but the league didn't react favorably and forced the franchise to come up with something different. The team was renamed the Baltimore Claws, inspired by the city's prominent Blue Crab industry. The name Claws has a certain charm to it, as most ABA teams had, but it's hard to imagine that the name would work today. My buddy suggested the Baltimore Blues, but that was rebuked for a myriad of reasons.
Eventually, we moved on to a different inane conversation altogether, but not before we took a second to reflect on the fact that beyond our stupid 'Wire' jokes, we couldn't really come up with anything for Baltimore; bad names were even a struggle. I think it's definitely safe to say that my friends and I really don't know s**t about the area at all.
So, I figured if I wanted an answer, I should broach the subject with those that would probably know best, or at least a lot better than myself and my burnout buddies. Here's where I leave it to you fine folks. What would the name of Baltimore's new NBA franchise be?
Many laughs and nods of agreement were to be had as we spent a good couple of hours knocking back Newcastles and creating franchises out of thin air. Then one of us threw the city of Baltimore out there, and promptly stumped the rest of us. Sure, we were able to come up with the obligatory 'Wire' inspired team names, but when it came down to actually come up with something usable, we all drew a blank.
We all agreed that the Bullets was one of the absolute best team names not just in basketball, but all of sports. We also agreed that there's just no way in hell a team could successfully carry that name today, with national sensitivity to guns and violence being at an all-time high. Way back in the 70's the Memphis Pros of the ABA moved to Baltimore and were originally renamed the Baltimore Hustlers; but the league didn't react favorably and forced the franchise to come up with something different. The team was renamed the Baltimore Claws, inspired by the city's prominent Blue Crab industry. The name Claws has a certain charm to it, as most ABA teams had, but it's hard to imagine that the name would work today. My buddy suggested the Baltimore Blues, but that was rebuked for a myriad of reasons.
Eventually, we moved on to a different inane conversation altogether, but not before we took a second to reflect on the fact that beyond our stupid 'Wire' jokes, we couldn't really come up with anything for Baltimore; bad names were even a struggle. I think it's definitely safe to say that my friends and I really don't know s**t about the area at all.
So, I figured if I wanted an answer, I should broach the subject with those that would probably know best, or at least a lot better than myself and my burnout buddies. Here's where I leave it to you fine folks. What would the name of Baltimore's new NBA franchise be?
