Sports is our Business
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tontoz wrote:Step 1- Fire EG
Steps 2 - 100.... whatever
AFM wrote:Make it wiz tradition for everyone in the stands to do the dougie at the same time while the other team shoots FTs
they will be so distracted
montestewart wrote:AFM wrote:Make it wiz tradition for everyone in the stands to do the dougie at the same time while the other team shoots FTs
they will be so distracted
Many years ago I came up with an idea (designed on paper, but never made prototypes) of a folding backboard and basket, extended on a rod, with one version featuring a mechanism similar to a manual egg beater that would rotate the basket/backboard clockwise or counterclockwise, and a second version with a spring action lever that bounced the basket/backboard up and down like a pogo stick.
When a key foul shot came up, people in the stands behind the basket would unfold, extend, rotate or bounce (not to be confused with a party at AFM's house), and the shooter would become dizzied by the vast backdrop of rotating and bouncing baskets, and miss the shot. In theory anyway. It would sure look funny.
Use Doc Linkin's picks, CCJ's sleeper late round picks and undrafted FAs, Ed Wood's available sleeper international players, some high value Lyrical Rico trades, run all acquisitions through Nivek's YODA and other unnamed programs, implement WizD's coaching and conditioning principles, have Nate manage the cap and contracts, make sure you have Dat and a few others on consulting retainer, Fish can handle legal, put PIF in charge since he almost was GSGM at one point, and 80sballboy as EVP or something since he has long standing formal ties to the team.
You get all that together, and they're just one move away from a championship. And that move: a dizzying sea of bouncing and rotating backboards. In the movie version, the backboards come out, the rocking winner music starts playing, and the opponents never know what hit them.
Maybe make Black Sabbath's The Wizard the official team fight song and bring Ozzy out for key games.
Oh, and if they have to dump Phil, put AFM with Buck. People would tune in no matter how bad the team was.
To be the best, you gotta beat the best, and to beat the best, you gotta beat 'em to a pulp. Words to live by.
AFM wrote:Spoiler:
(replace bottle w/ fireball)
Strangely enough, most westerners can't sit like this without their heels coming off the ground. Try it. Most adults have lost this mobility.
If we could get the entire team to give up sitting on chairs and couches, and commit to the slav squat, they would be able to lower their center of gravity by 25% by summer camp.
montestewart wrote:AFM wrote:Spoiler:
(replace bottle w/ fireball)
Strangely enough, most westerners can't sit like this without their heels coming off the ground. Try it. Most adults have lost this mobility.
If we could get the entire team to give up sitting on chairs and couches, and commit to the slav squat, they would be able to lower their center of gravity by 25% by summer camp.
I know I can't. I've been squatting as part of regimen to address a bad back, and I can only do it with one foot flat, but I'm getting closer. Depending on knees and ankles (and hips, back, etc.) it's a good stretching and leg strengthening position.
But you know, everyone suddenly squatting would say, "We're no longer #1. We can't afford chairs." Also, it's hard to squat with a big trophy-of-success belly. Michelle Obama could have raised awareness of this issue, but Rush Limbaugh would have on her like...well, you get the idea.
How to promote squatting, to make it attractive and appealing...maybe a slogan? Squat for America? Maybe design a whole health system around it, like yoga, call it Slav Squats, have classes, imply that you're glossing over a spiritual dimension originally attached to Slav Squats (which will soon routinely be called SS), giving it the appearance of depth, with a much shallower commitment.
Maybe the new trophy of success will become squatting. All the Wall Street bankers will show off squatting techniques, and there will be impossible-to-get-a-seat-at restaurants in Manhattan that literally won't have any seats, as everyone wants to be seen nonchalantly squatting as they laugh boisterously and talk about wine or Maseratis or Montauk or whatever they talk about.
Wizards could have SS nights, where fans are encouraged to squat in their seats and confused neo-Nazis wonder why they were encouraged to attend an event dominated by black people, ending up leaving with Wall autographed jerseys and 3 game family plans.
tontoz wrote:Step 1- Fire EG
Steps 2 - 100.... whatever
montestewart wrote:AFM wrote:Make it wiz tradition for everyone in the stands to do the dougie at the same time while the other team shoots FTs
they will be so distracted
Many years ago I came up with an idea (designed on paper, but never made prototypes) of a folding backboard and basket, extended on a rod, with one version featuring a mechanism similar to a manual egg beater that would rotate the basket/backboard clockwise or counterclockwise, and a second version with a spring action lever that bounced the basket/backboard up and down like a pogo stick.
When a key foul shot came up, people in the stands behind the basket would unfold, extend, rotate or bounce (not to be confused with a party at AFM's house), and the shooter would become dizzied by the vast backdrop of rotating and bouncing baskets, and miss the shot. In theory anyway. It would sure look funny.
Use Doc Linkin's picks, CCJ's sleeper late round picks and undrafted FAs, Ed Wood's available sleeper international players, some high value Lyrical Rico trades, run all acquisitions through Nivek's YODA and other unnamed programs, implement WizD's coaching and conditioning principles, have Nate manage the cap and contracts, make sure you have Dat and a few others on consulting retainer, Fish can handle legal, put PIF in charge since he almost was GSGM at one point, and 80sballboy as EVP or something since he has long standing formal ties to the team.
You get all that together, and they're just one move away from a championship. And that move: a dizzying sea of bouncing and rotating backboards. In the movie version, the backboards come out, the rocking winner music starts playing, and the opponents never know what hit them.
Maybe make Black Sabbath's The Wizard the official team fight song and bring Ozzy out for key games.
Oh, and if they have to dump Phil, put AFM with Buck. People would tune in no matter how bad the team was.
To be the best, you gotta beat the best, and to beat the best, you gotta beat 'em to a pulp. Words to live by.