I demand an investigation! Looking at the Game Thread signup stats (are they current through all 82 games?), I have a right to start the thread. I mean, going .500 with this team is pretty impressive, no matter how much shameless cherrypicking I did to get there. And as the only .500 thread starter with more than 1 win, I think I have the right to start the Lotto thread.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
(Here's where Doc jumps in to remind us of the disaster of the original 1st game thread from this season, the do-over, and how it was all downhill from there.
)
Of course, it won't matter, since we all know the Lottery is rigged. David Stern will fly in his black helicopter to an undisclosed location to meet with Dick Cheney where they will hatch the evil plot to award the 1st pick and establish the American Union.
But since someone's gotta win the thing, why not trot out our credentials for being the recipient of the Government's (oops, sorry - the NBA's) largesse:
1. Stern loves Abe. (Hmm, what do they have in common? And what do they have in common with all of the true power brokers in the world? Hmm? I'm not sayin' anything, I'm just sayin', nowatimean?)
2. That's a joke, people.
3. Stern really has said that Abe is his "favorite" owner, and Abe could really use a going away present.
4. The whole Obama, "Change", etc. in Washington. DC is the new Hollywood East. This line of reasoning appeals to some more than others, but should not be completely dismissed.
5. The natural fit would be the hometown team of OKC. But giving them the top pick after what they did to Seattle would be a PR hit. Hopefully Stern will see it this way and cast aside the spirit that sent LeBron to Cleveland. (It didn't help Atlanta land Dwight Howard, so this shouldn't be a hard and fast rule.)
6. The Wiz already have some star power. Arenas, Butler, Jamison, and now a successful/well-known coach in Flip. Thus Griffin wouldn't be going somewhere to disappear for the next 4 years, as he would with the Clippers, Kings, Grizzlies, T-wolves, etc.
7. The Wiz could become the counterweight to the Cavs - oops, I mean the Knicks - for the next 5-10 years. They already have a rivalry with LeBron. They have a charismatic star of their own in Arenas. Griffin would be a player that LeBron couldn't counter on his own, since Griffin will be pounding people in the paint, and LeBron lives out in the passing lanes. It would really set up a team that might be the only chance to "make it interesting" in the coming years. Even if the League sees them only as a foil to The Chosen One (can Stern force them to change their name to the Generals?), it's still better drama if it's at least close. And Griffin would make this team a legitimate contender, which you can't say about any other team in the Lottery.
So there you have it. The case to rig the Lottery for the Wiz. I think it's airtight, but feel free to add any other justifications you may see. And please do keep talking about "ping pong balls," the "odds", "coin flips" and how they'll have to "split the difference" between the Wiz and the Clippers. It definitely helps to keep up the illusion for the unenlightened.
