My son: advice please

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Nbabrothers
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My son: advice please 

Post#1 » by Nbabrothers » Wed Feb 12, 2020 4:12 pm

Hi Realgm, I have a topic regarding basketball but it is for advice that I am seeking. My son who is 15 years old is an elite point guard who plays for his freshman high school team. He’s played for the third ranked national team of the 11U NYC Gauchos, 12U and was the starting point guard for the 13U Gauchos. He was also the starting point guard for the NJ ShoreShots 14U team.
For some weird reason, the coach has him coming off the bench as either the 6th or 7th man. His confidence has been shattered by this coach because if he makes one mistake he gets benched. He is better than three of the starters and that’s not just because I’m his father but because he truly is better.
My wife and son both don’t want me talking to the coach regarding how he is not developing my son to be successful and he’s so nervous of screwing up on the court. He’s never come off the bench before. I know this is probably not the place to be asking for help but I have run out of resources. Please advise and I thank you all in advance and apologize if I’m not supposed to post anything like this.
We were counting on him getting a scholarship from a D1 or D2 school but the chances of him getting noticed as a bench player makes it highly unlikely. He’s an elite defender, can shoot the three, likes contact in the paint and can drive and make the basket with defense on him and is an exceptional point guard and finds the right players to pass the back to in their favorite spots on the court.
Again I thank you for any advice you can share.
Cavsfansince84
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#2 » by Cavsfansince84 » Mon Feb 24, 2020 12:49 am

My advice is to let your own decide how to proceed and if he is really good enough to play in college he can always walk on and prove it that way which could lead to a scholarship if he doesn't get the offer you were expecting he might.
Nbabrothers
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#3 » by Nbabrothers » Mon Feb 24, 2020 3:52 pm

Cavsfansince84 wrote:My advice is to let your own decide how to proceed and if he is really good enough to play in college he can always walk on and prove it that way which could lead to a scholarship if he doesn't get the offer you were expecting he might.

We are hoping for D1 but will be happy with D2. Thanks for responding
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#4 » by Jaqua92 » Fri Feb 28, 2020 4:16 am

Honestly, if this is hurting your son's confidence, you should focus on his mentality. He is 15, his personality is still developing. It may be helpful to suggest some sports counseling by a licensed professional to provide him the support needed to maintain his confidence. Your son is at an age where his experiences can shape his adult personality. Given the seemingly important role basketball has in his life, this is obviously a big blow to his confidence. You don't want his self worth to come from something external. Regardless of how unfair it is, it is not a healthy way for the "self" to develop.

You know your son best, and I'm sure his talents and the situation will allow the basketball situation to resolve itself, but I would kindly believe that some counseling while he adjusts to this would be helpful. Self awareness is underrated. I hope this situation can resolve and he can get the playing team your family feels he deserves, but I just think with how important this probably is for him and your family, a good counselor could provide your son the right support to assist him with not getting knocked off his feet in the meantime.

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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#5 » by mattg » Sun Mar 1, 2020 5:15 pm

Also, we don’t have enough information here to truly give great advice. You listed all the supposed strong points of your son’s game, but literally no potential weaknesses. I can promise you that if he is 15 years old and is playing for the freshman team he has some major areas he needs to improve upon. If he was truly as elite of a defender, good shooter who can finish, while running a team smoothly as you’re saying he would be on JV or varsity. You need to be honest in your evaluation of him as a player to figure out why he isnt playing more and what he can do to change that. He’s only a freshman, there is time. How are his practice habits, does he work hard or is he clowning around? Is he a good genuinely supportive teammate/have good body language or is he constantly mopey because he doesn’t start and other kids are playing ahead of him? Has he talked to his coach about his role on the team and what the expectations are? Aside from AAU, what is his offseason training regimen?
Pacers_Freak
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#6 » by Pacers_Freak » Tue Mar 10, 2020 3:51 pm

Nbabrothers wrote:Hi Realgm, I have a topic regarding basketball but it is for advice that I am seeking. My son who is 15 years old is an elite point guard who plays for his freshman high school team. He’s played for the third ranked national team of the 11U NYC Gauchos, 12U and was the starting point guard for the 13U Gauchos. He was also the starting point guard for the NJ ShoreShots 14U team.
For some weird reason, the coach has him coming off the bench as either the 6th or 7th man. His confidence has been shattered by this coach because if he makes one mistake he gets benched. He is better than three of the starters and that’s not just because I’m his father but because he truly is better.
My wife and son both don’t want me talking to the coach regarding how he is not developing my son to be successful and he’s so nervous of screwing up on the court. He’s never come off the bench before. I know this is probably not the place to be asking for help but I have run out of resources. Please advise and I thank you all in advance and apologize if I’m not supposed to post anything like this.
We were counting on him getting a scholarship from a D1 or D2 school but the chances of him getting noticed as a bench player makes it highly unlikely. He’s an elite defender, can shoot the three, likes contact in the paint and can drive and make the basket with defense on him and is an exceptional point guard and finds the right players to pass the back to in their favorite spots on the court.
Again I thank you for any advice you can share.


Your son is 15. Let him continue to improve his game. Scholarships should not be a concern of you or his at this point. He's 15. You talking about scholarships this early puts pressure on him. I know that is not your intention. He's 15. Let him relax and play ball. Everything else will take care of itself.
And1+2
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#7 » by And1+2 » Wed Mar 11, 2020 9:31 pm

Maybe approach the coach in a positive way with your son. What can he do to get more playing time? What do you feel he needs to do to improve?

It could be anything. Maybe the coach is one of those old school guys with an archiac coaching style, and he believes that being hard on him will force him to be better. Works for some guys, but backfires most of the time for the reasons you've stated above. Just kills confidence...

Either way, hear him out. Don't go into it looking for confrontation. Just be positive and take what you can from it. Maybe try to figure out a plan that would get him more playing time. Extra practice? Nail down some things he needs to work on and set some goals or improvement strategy. Those are great life strategies outside the court as well.

Go home, compose your thoughts, and figure out what you need to do next. If you're not satisfied, maybe switching schools is the best thing you can do. That's a decision you'll have to make with your Son and family.

Good luck!

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