My son: advice please

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Nbabrothers
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#21 » by Nbabrothers » Tue Mar 30, 2021 5:46 pm

Update: We switched schools and as a sophomore he started for the Varsity team and being ranked 2nd team all league!
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#22 » by Def Leppard » Mon Sep 6, 2021 12:49 am

High Performance coach here (not hoops). You are welcome to bring up your inquiry with the coach but, I would advise you only mention your son in the conversation and do not compare him to other players on the team in the process. Posing the question as simply, hey coach, just want to help my kid get more run, wondering if there is any message I can preech to him when we are on the courts on our own to help your system? (Something posed as helpful looking for a quick clear answer).

Lastly, it is impossible for a parent to be impartial when it comes to evaluating their athlete vs. others... I say that with respect but 99% of parents are incorrect in their assessment of their own kids abilitys in comparison to others.

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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#23 » by Def Leppard » Mon Sep 6, 2021 12:51 am

Nbabrothers wrote:Hi Realgm, I have a topic regarding basketball but it is for advice that I am seeking. My son who is 15 years old is an elite point guard who plays for his freshman high school team. He’s played for the third ranked national team of the 11U NYC Gauchos, 12U and was the starting point guard for the 13U Gauchos. He was also the starting point guard for the NJ ShoreShots 14U team.
For some weird reason, the coach has him coming off the bench as either the 6th or 7th man. His confidence has been shattered by this coach because if he makes one mistake he gets benched. He is better than three of the starters and that’s not just because I’m his father but because he truly is better.
My wife and son both don’t want me talking to the coach regarding how he is not developing my son to be successful and he’s so nervous of screwing up on the court. He’s never come off the bench before. I know this is probably not the place to be asking for help but I have run out of resources. Please advise and I thank you all in advance and apologize if I’m not supposed to post anything like this.
We were counting on him getting a scholarship from a D1 or D2 school but the chances of him getting noticed as a bench player makes it highly unlikely. He’s an elite defender, can shoot the three, likes contact in the paint and can drive and make the basket with defense on him and is an exceptional point guard and finds the right players to pass the back to in their favorite spots on the court.
Again I thank you for any advice you can share.
Pacers_Freak wrote:
Nbabrothers wrote:Hi Realgm, I have a topic regarding basketball but it is for advice that I am seeking. My son who is 15 years old is an elite point guard who plays for his freshman high school team. He’s played for the third ranked national team of the 11U NYC Gauchos, 12U and was the starting point guard for the 13U Gauchos. He was also the starting point guard for the NJ ShoreShots 14U team.
For some weird reason, the coach has him coming off the bench as either the 6th or 7th man. His confidence has been shattered by this coach because if he makes one mistake he gets benched. He is better than three of the starters and that’s not just because I’m his father but because he truly is better.
My wife and son both don’t want me talking to the coach regarding how he is not developing my son to be successful and he’s so nervous of screwing up on the court. He’s never come off the bench before. I know this is probably not the place to be asking for help but I have run out of resources. Please advise and I thank you all in advance and apologize if I’m not supposed to post anything like this.
We were counting on him getting a scholarship from a D1 or D2 school but the chances of him getting noticed as a bench player makes it highly unlikely. He’s an elite defender, can shoot the three, likes contact in the paint and can drive and make the basket with defense on him and is an exceptional point guard and finds the right players to pass the back to in their favorite spots on the court.
Again I thank you for any advice you can share.


Your son is 15. Let him continue to improve his game. Scholarships should not be a concern of you or his at this point. He's 15. You talking about scholarships this early puts pressure on him. I know that is not your intention. He's 15. Let him relax and play ball. Everything else will take care of itself.
To play devils advocate, at 15 he has to be on college radars, very short window between 15 and college admissions.

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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#24 » by Nbabrothers » Mon Sep 6, 2021 3:18 pm

file:///var/mobile/Library/SMS/Attachments/14/04/D450188C-3D3B-46E5-843A-2943684F0467/Screenshot%202021-08-28%20at%201.26.39%20PM.png
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#25 » by Nbabrothers » Mon Sep 6, 2021 3:20 pm

Nbabrothers wrote:file:///var/mobile/Library/SMS/Attachments/14/04/D450188C-3D3B-46E5-843A-2943684F0467/Screenshot%202021-08-28%20at%201.26.39%20PM.png



This was supposed to be a video of my son dunking the ball. How do I post videos here? I don’t have it on YouTube and don’t want to post it there now Instagram.
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#26 » by GSWFan1994 » Wed May 31, 2023 12:49 am

Nbabrothers wrote:Update: We switched schools and as a sophomore he started for the Varsity team and being ranked 2nd team all league!


So, how did it go? Did he manage to get a D1 scholarship?
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#27 » by chickenstew » Sat Sep 30, 2023 10:17 pm

You are focusing on the wrong things if you are worried about what level he is playing at. Primary goal should be to get as much of his education paid for as possible, to be with coaches that will love on him and help him succeed (not all will do that) and that he has a positive college experience. I’ve seen the pressures of college basketball crush kids, the lack of playing time, mentally abusive coaches, hyper criticisms from fans. Find the most positive experience possible for your son and get some schooling paid for and he will be far ahead in life. If your goals are anything other than that? You are doing things incorrectly.

It really drives me nuts when I see these kids and parents focused on D1. Then they go and a lot don’t play, and they hate the experience and they transfer and they feel like they failed. Instead of just trying to find the best fit from the beginning.

JC has great basketball
D3 has great basketball
NAIA has great basketball
D2 has great basketball
D1 has great basketball

Find the best fit for your son.

And yes I’ve put a kid through college basketball so I know a bit about this.

He was all-state player and a state champion in high school. He had D1 opportunities but he really wanted to stay home and play for the local D2 school. The coaches at this school were very old school beat them down to putty and mold them how you want them to be types… not a lot of positivity at that program. My son tried to make it work, took a redshirt year, but the nit picking and overall negative atmosphere just wore him down and made him dread it. Many other kids felt the same way. As a redshirt sophomore he decided to transfer after 3 seasons at his local school. He took it really tough and felt like a failure.

In the portal he had other D2 schools that were interested in him but there was one NAIA school that he just clicked with the coaches. The team wasn’t even a good team! But he chose them and he hadn’t looked back.

He is absolutely loving his experience at his new school. They know how to get to him with positivity instead of negativity, they build him up. Hes enjoying helping to make his teammates better players…when my wife and I talk to him? He's smiling again. He says “my coaches will just talk to me and make sure I’m doing ok, will ask me how things are going…I’ve never experienced that before”.

And he is still getting a lot of his schooling and housing paid for and is enjoying life at an NAIA school.
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#28 » by LewisnotMiller » Fri Oct 13, 2023 3:39 am

chickenstew wrote:You are focusing on the wrong things if you are worried about what level he is playing at. Primary goal should be to get as much of his education paid for as possible, to be with coaches that will love on him and help him succeed (not all will do that) and that he has a positive college experience. I’ve seen the pressures of college basketball crush kids, the lack of playing time, mentally abusive coaches, hyper criticisms from fans. Find the most positive experience possible for your son and get some schooling paid for and he will be far ahead in life. If your goals are anything other than that? You are doing things incorrectly.

It really drives me nuts when I see these kids and parents focused on D1. Then they go and a lot don’t play, and they hate the experience and they transfer and they feel like they failed. Instead of just trying to find the best fit from the beginning.

JC has great basketball
D3 has great basketball
NAIA has great basketball
D2 has great basketball
D1 has great basketball

Find the best fit for your son.

And yes I’ve put a kid through college basketball so I know a bit about this.

He was all-state player and a state champion in high school. He had D1 opportunities but he really wanted to stay home and play for the local D2 school. The coaches at this school were very old school beat them down to putty and mold them how you want them to be types… not a lot of positivity at that program. My son tried to make it work, took a redshirt year, but the nit picking and overall negative atmosphere just wore him down and made him dread it. Many other kids felt the same way. As a redshirt sophomore he decided to transfer after 3 seasons at his local school. He took it really tough and felt like a failure.

In the portal he had other D2 schools that were interested in him but there was one NAIA school that he just clicked with the coaches. The team wasn’t even a good team! But he chose them and he hadn’t looked back.

He is absolutely loving his experience at his new school. They know how to get to him with positivity instead of negativity, they build him up. Hes enjoying helping to make his teammates better players…when my wife and I talk to him? He's smiling again. He says “my coaches will just talk to me and make sure I’m doing ok, will ask me how things are going…I’ve never experienced that before”.

And he is still getting a lot of his schooling and housing paid for and is enjoying life at an NAIA school.


This is great advice.

I coach, and also have a child playing at rep level here in Oz (our structure is different to yours), and the fit plus free education advice is perfect.

It might be different if you have an NBA player on your hands (they won't get that degree anyway) but since I coach girls, I don't need to think about potential pots of gold at the end of the proverbial rainbow...!
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#29 » by TGW » Wed Oct 18, 2023 5:43 pm

There's some really good advice here.
Some random troll wrote:Not to sound negative, but this team is owned by an arrogant cheapskate, managed by a moron and coached by an idiot. Recipe for disaster.
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#30 » by Hoppy1 » Thu Dec 7, 2023 6:40 pm

I always told me son if he was good enough to get a scholarship for athletics, go to a school in Hawaii. Four years in paradise beats 4 years in snow. But if he got an academic scholarship, which he did, go to the best school that fits your goals.
When you look for the bad in something, expecting to find it, you certainly will.
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Re: My son: advice please 

Post#31 » by scrabbarista » Sat Feb 10, 2024 1:42 am

Def Leppard wrote:
Nbabrothers wrote:Hi Realgm, I have a topic regarding basketball but it is for advice that I am seeking. My son who is 15 years old is an elite point guard who plays for his freshman high school team. He’s played for the third ranked national team of the 11U NYC Gauchos, 12U and was the starting point guard for the 13U Gauchos. He was also the starting point guard for the NJ ShoreShots 14U team.
For some weird reason, the coach has him coming off the bench as either the 6th or 7th man. His confidence has been shattered by this coach because if he makes one mistake he gets benched. He is better than three of the starters and that’s not just because I’m his father but because he truly is better.
My wife and son both don’t want me talking to the coach regarding how he is not developing my son to be successful and he’s so nervous of screwing up on the court. He’s never come off the bench before. I know this is probably not the place to be asking for help but I have run out of resources. Please advise and I thank you all in advance and apologize if I’m not supposed to post anything like this.
We were counting on him getting a scholarship from a D1 or D2 school but the chances of him getting noticed as a bench player makes it highly unlikely. He’s an elite defender, can shoot the three, likes contact in the paint and can drive and make the basket with defense on him and is an exceptional point guard and finds the right players to pass the back to in their favorite spots on the court.
Again I thank you for any advice you can share.
Pacers_Freak wrote:
Nbabrothers wrote:Hi Realgm, I have a topic regarding basketball but it is for advice that I am seeking. My son who is 15 years old is an elite point guard who plays for his freshman high school team. He’s played for the third ranked national team of the 11U NYC Gauchos, 12U and was the starting point guard for the 13U Gauchos. He was also the starting point guard for the NJ ShoreShots 14U team.
For some weird reason, the coach has him coming off the bench as either the 6th or 7th man. His confidence has been shattered by this coach because if he makes one mistake he gets benched. He is better than three of the starters and that’s not just because I’m his father but because he truly is better.
My wife and son both don’t want me talking to the coach regarding how he is not developing my son to be successful and he’s so nervous of screwing up on the court. He’s never come off the bench before. I know this is probably not the place to be asking for help but I have run out of resources. Please advise and I thank you all in advance and apologize if I’m not supposed to post anything like this.
We were counting on him getting a scholarship from a D1 or D2 school but the chances of him getting noticed as a bench player makes it highly unlikely. He’s an elite defender, can shoot the three, likes contact in the paint and can drive and make the basket with defense on him and is an exceptional point guard and finds the right players to pass the back to in their favorite spots on the court.
Again I thank you for any advice you can share.


Your son is 15. Let him continue to improve his game. Scholarships should not be a concern of you or his at this point. He's 15. You talking about scholarships this early puts pressure on him. I know that is not your intention. He's 15. Let him relax and play ball. Everything else will take care of itself.
To play devils advocate, at 15 he has to be on college radars, very short window between 15 and college admissions.

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This is anecdotal (and a long time ago), but I worked in our high school mail room as a freshman, and there were at least a few freshman baseball players at our school who were receiving letters from multiple MLB teams. Not colleges: MLB teams. I have no idea whether this was actually "legal," but I saw it regularly with my own eyes. This was the mid-90's. I'd find it hard to imagine that scouting/recruiting is less developed now than it was then.

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