My pitch to Dwight...
Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 3:39 pm
OK Dwight, I realize that you want to be one of the biggest stars in the NBA, and you want to go down in history as one of the best ever, especially better than that douche Shaq. And I realize that we are the Charlotte Bobcats. But hear me out.
Your image right now is shot, people are sick of you and your act, and no matter what you do, you can't win. You can't win if you stay in LA, the scrutiny there will be crazy all the time, and you'll never win that PR battle against Kobe. *I* realize that you are coming off of back surgery, played your way into shape, and still had a ton of rebounds and points playing at like 60%, but the LA fans hate you. Nationally, everyone puts you under a microscope. That will happen if you go to Houston (where you will be the "savior") or anywhere else where they will try and shoehorn you into what they are doing to try and get a title. What you need right now is to lay low, go to a place where they can build a team around you and what you do best, like what they did in Orlando.
Here in Charlotte, people in our own city don't know we have a basketball team. You can come in, people will forget about "bad" Dwight, you get a year to get 100%, play with our young core who will support you and grow with you. Our situation is actually perfect for you... we have a team of Kemba, MKG, Biz who are all complementary and do their job well. For a year you get to be anonymous to rehab your image, and after a year, we come back with a huge PR blitz, with you as the face of the brand new Charlotte Hornets. Our city loves the Hornets, and will back you and love you!
Also, we just hired the head coach you love! Coach Clifford will be the guy you get to work with and grow with, we will get shooters around you and let you dominate in the post... you will get MVP's here. You won't get them in LA or in Houston or in Atlanta or wherever. All the money's the same, max deals everywhere, but you come to the Bobcats, this is unequivocally your team, and you own this town. Everything is set up for you here, it's the perfect situation. Remember LJ and Grandmama? Yeah, it works here in Charlotte. It can be you Dwight.
Your image right now is shot, people are sick of you and your act, and no matter what you do, you can't win. You can't win if you stay in LA, the scrutiny there will be crazy all the time, and you'll never win that PR battle against Kobe. *I* realize that you are coming off of back surgery, played your way into shape, and still had a ton of rebounds and points playing at like 60%, but the LA fans hate you. Nationally, everyone puts you under a microscope. That will happen if you go to Houston (where you will be the "savior") or anywhere else where they will try and shoehorn you into what they are doing to try and get a title. What you need right now is to lay low, go to a place where they can build a team around you and what you do best, like what they did in Orlando.
Here in Charlotte, people in our own city don't know we have a basketball team. You can come in, people will forget about "bad" Dwight, you get a year to get 100%, play with our young core who will support you and grow with you. Our situation is actually perfect for you... we have a team of Kemba, MKG, Biz who are all complementary and do their job well. For a year you get to be anonymous to rehab your image, and after a year, we come back with a huge PR blitz, with you as the face of the brand new Charlotte Hornets. Our city loves the Hornets, and will back you and love you!
Also, we just hired the head coach you love! Coach Clifford will be the guy you get to work with and grow with, we will get shooters around you and let you dominate in the post... you will get MVP's here. You won't get them in LA or in Houston or in Atlanta or wherever. All the money's the same, max deals everywhere, but you come to the Bobcats, this is unequivocally your team, and you own this town. Everything is set up for you here, it's the perfect situation. Remember LJ and Grandmama? Yeah, it works here in Charlotte. It can be you Dwight.