You have 1,712,690 Iranian Rials to spend

[zimpy27]

NBA Bench Warmer (would like to be able to walk through the streets with only mild recognition)
House in Suburbs (best I can get)
Audrey Plaza (even if I had more money I'm choosing Audrey here)
Don't own a car (I will buy a motorbike)

[Backcountry]

Since that's only about $40 USD, I'm going for it. In my 60s now, so no time to mess around with Dame Judy and her fortune. I'm going full Prime Alba. The rest doesn't matter because I have savings. If I'm allowed, I'll collect enough bottles to add Ana de Armas. What a sandwich!

[Capn'O]

Audrey Plaza (even if I had more money I'm choosing Audrey here)

I feel like this is the cheat code here. She seems cool.

Can I get the EV model of the Panda?

Please answer Mr. Puddles. This is important!

Since that's only about $40 US...

that makes this even funnier.

[The Laker Kid]

I feel like I need to hire Ballmer's accountant to make any sense of this.

[Calvin Klein]

NBA bench warmer
Aubrey Plaza
A house in the suburbs
Fiat panda


Sounds good.

[Capn'O]

NBA bench warmer
Aubrey Plaza
A house in the suburbs
Fiat panda


Sounds good.

Still waiting on the EV confirmation but this is my inclination.

[Deivork]

Yup... this is peak offseason

For those who wanting to shorten the NBA season

for shame

less games, not less time of the year

[zimpy27]

Audrey Plaza (even if I had more money I'm choosing Audrey here)

I feel like this is the cheat code here. She seems cool.

Definitely the best to marry of that group IMO.

[Mr Puddles]

Can I get the EV model of the Panda?

Please answer Mr. Puddles. This is important!

No, dammit, it's the same 1995 Fiat panda grandma drives to get to cracker barrel.

Between you tinkering with the car, another poster trying de-age Judy Dench, and yet another poster thinking he can build a cabin under the bridge, I'm starting to think that you are not taking this scientific thought experiment of consummate import seriously.

[Capn'O]

Can I get the EV model of the Panda?

Please answer Mr. Puddles. This is important!

No, dammit, it's the same 1995 Fiat panda grandma drives to get to cracker barrel.

Between you tinkering with the car, another poster trying de-age Judy Dench, and yet another poster thinking he can build a cabin under the bridge, I'm starting to think that you are not taking this scientific thought experiment of consummate import seriously.

Now you wait a minute here, Mr. Puddles, 1995 was never specified. This isn't science, this is totalitarianism. I decline!

Spoiler:

in seriousness, the EV looks like a pretty dope car and I'm bummed it's not available stateside

[Lalouie]

i thought i read 1712690 Iranian rebels

like wtf

[JRoy]

Construct your life using 1,712,690 Iranian Rials. You can not skip a category.

Job

• NBA legend 989,340 IRR
• NBA bench warmer 593,604 IRR
• NBA mascot 395,736 IRR
• NBA concession stand worker 197,868 IRR
• NBA intern who will be the subject of a Shaq prank for the rest of his life in perpetuity 49,467 IRR

House

• A luxery home in your dream destination 989,340 IRR
• A house in the suburbs 494,670 IRR
• A small apartment 395,736 IRR
• Sharing a small apartment with a roommate 197,868 IRR
• Under a bridge 49,467 IRR

Wife

• Prime Jessica Alba 989,340 IRR
• Ana de Armas 742,005 IRR
• Aubrey Plaza 494,670 IRR
• Dame Judy Dench 296,802 IRR
• Popeye Jones 49,467 IRR

Car

• Your dream car 742,005 IRR
• Tesla model 3 494,670 IRR
• BYD Orca 395,736 IRR
• Fiat panda 197,868 IRR
• You can never own a car in your life 49,467 IRR

Spoiler:

All amounts mentioned:

1,712,690 = 35 EUR

989,340 IRR = 20 EUR
742,005 IRR = 15 EUR
593,604 IRR = 12 EUR
494,670 IRR = 10 EUR
395,736 IRR = 8 EUR
296,802 IRR = 6 EUR
197,868 IRR = 4 EUR
49,467 IRR = 1 EUR

Buy a lifetime supply of Chelo xoresh.