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Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 12:56 am
by EtchenBa
Carlos Boozer:
Do I have the ball?
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No ------------------> Follow Deron Williams around the court until he uses my horribly telegraphed screen
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Yes -----------------> Try to create my own shot even though I have one of the best passing PGs in the league
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Did I score?
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Yes -----------------> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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No ------------------> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Zach Randolph:
Is anybody else open?
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No ----------> Steps out to shoot a 3.
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Yes ----------> Pass fakes, then proceeds to shoot a 3.
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:00 am
by Blackmun
Heh. I give it a 6/10. Only two players, though?
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:00 am
by Subway Token
This thread could get epic.
Adam Morrison
Did I just come in the game?
l
l
l
No -------> Everything's normal, don't worry.
l
l
l
Yes --------> Wake up.
Al Harrington:
Did I just get the ball?
l
l
l
Yes ------> WTF are you waiting for, shoot!!!!!
l
l
l
No --------> WTF are you waiting for, get the ball and shoot!!!!!!!!!
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:05 am
by darth_federer
EtchenBa wrote:Carlos Boozer:
Do I have the ball?
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> Follow Deron Williams around the court until he uses my horribly telegraphed screen
|
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> Try to create my own shot even though I have one of the best passing PGs in the league
|
|
|
|
Did I score?
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Zach Randolph:
Is anybody else open?
|
|
|
No ----------> Steps out to shoot a 3.
|
|
|
Yes ----------> Pass fakes, then proceeds to shoot a 3.
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:07 am
by NBA Fan 1234
Lmao this is gonna be a great thread. Gotta love the way its going so far.
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:07 am
by Vitamin
Andrew Bynum:
Do I have the ball?
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No ------------------> Tell Vujacic to "Gimme the ****in' ball!"
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Yes -----------------> Find a way to injure my own knees
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:33 am
by Ron Harper
Screens should be telegraphed, tis the point of the screens. You know, put the pressure on the defense to commit over/under.
Besides, teams starting at the HS level call those out.
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:33 am
by RipCityLives
Kwame Brown..................
Do I have the ball???
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yes----------------------->>>>Damn, why they passed me???
.
.
.
.
.
No------------------------>>>> Thanks God, I'll have a postgame without critics.
Shaq
.
Free throw attempt???
.
.
.
.Yes---------------->>>Hack-a-Shaq, what a disgrace for bball!!
.
.
.
.No----------------->>>They cant stop me!
Kobe Bryant
.
. Are we losing???
.
.
.Yes------------------>>>I will shoot 20 FGs in the second half
.
.
.
. No------------------>>>I will shoot 20 FGs in the second half
Rajon Rondo.....
Am I wide open from downtown???
.
.
.
.
Yes----------------->>>What the hell I should do now???
.
.
.
.
No------------------->>>They know my jumpshot had improved so much.
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:41 am
by Volcano
Lebron:
Do I, Lebron, have the ball?
/
/
/
No
---> Lebron will day dream about playing with Dwayne Wade. Oh wait! He's right next to me..I mean right next to Lebron.
/
/
/
Yes
---> Lebron should dribble once, take two steps and a crab shuffle and dunk. Note to Lebron: What Lebron does with the ball is no simple matter. Lebron must hold a one hour ESPN special on how Lebron decided to dunk. Fans must not know that Lebron had already planned to dunk before he got the ball.
Kobe:
Do I have the ball?
/
/
/
No
---> Wave my hands up and down in the air until I get the ball
/
/
/
Yes
---> If I'm getting single coverage, take a shot
---> If I'm getting double teamed, take a shot
---> If I'm getting triple teamed, take a fade away shot
---> If four guys are on me, take a fade away and stick out my bottom teeth like I'm awesome. People will associate me with this face like they do with MJ's tongue.
---> If five guys are on me, maybe pass it to Gasol. Nah, take the shot just to be safe.
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:42 am
by RipCityLives
^^^^^Too good.
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:46 am
by Lamak
JR Smith:
Do I have the ball?
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No ------------------> Stand at 3 point line yelling with hands out ready for a pass
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Yes -----------------> Do 3 crossovers take it to the hole with a spin move, then take it back outside and jack up a 3
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Did I score?
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Yes -----------------> Throw up whatever gang sign I'm feeling that day
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No ------------------> Look around the stadium until I spot the dance squad
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:47 am
by DonKilluminati
Volcano wrote:Kobe:
Do I have the ball?
/
/
/
No
---> Wave my hands up and down in the air until I get the ball
/
/
/
Yes
---> If I'm getting single coverage, take a shot
---> If I'm getting double teamed, take a shot
---> If I'm getting triple teamed, take a fade away shot
---> If four guys are on me, take a fade away and stick out my bottom teeth like I'm awesome. People will associate me with this face like they do with MJ's tongue.
---> If five guys are on me, maybe pass it to Gasol. Nah, take the shot just to be safe.
As much as I love Kobe, I have to admit, I loled hard.
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 2:46 am
by EtchenBa
The point of this thread wasn't to repeat stupid, cliched commentary about Kobe or LeBron.
You're not funny when you post more than a sentence for a part of the flowchart.
yeah, i mad.
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 2:52 am
by Eliowns
darth_federer wrote:EtchenBa wrote:Carlos Boozer:
Do I have the ball?
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> Follow Deron Williams around the court until he uses my horribly telegraphed screen
|
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> Try to create my own shot even though I have one of the best passing PGs in the league
|
|
|
|
Did I score?
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Zach Randolph:
Is anybody else open?
|
|
|
No ----------> Steps out to shoot a 3.
|
|
|
Yes ----------> Pass fakes, then proceeds to shoot a 3.
haha! love it!
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 3:15 am
by stacey_is_king
Lamak wrote:JR Smith:
Do I have the ball?
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> Stand at 3 point line yelling with hands out ready for a pass
|
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> Do 3 crossovers take it to the hole with a spin move, then take it back outside and jack up a 3
|
|
|
|
Did I score?
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> Throw up whatever gang sign I'm feeling that day
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> Look around the stadium until I spot the dance squad
Best one.
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 3:20 am
by DonKilluminati
EtchenBa wrote:The point of this thread wasn't to repeat stupid, cliched commentary about Kobe or LeBron.
You're not funny when you post more than a sentence for a part of the flowchart.
yeah, i mad.
I'm selling this new product I invented the other night, and I really think you could benefit from it.
Would you be interested in investing some capital into my company sir?
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 3:33 am
by Stills12
Volcano wrote:Lebron:
Do I, Lebron, have the ball?
/
/
/
No
---> Lebron will day dream about playing with Dwayne Wade. Oh wait! He's right next to me..I mean right next to Lebron.
/
/
/
Yes
---> Lebron should dribble once, take two steps and a crab shuffle and dunk. Note to Lebron: What Lebron does with the ball is no simple matter. Lebron must hold a one hour ESPN special on how Lebron decided to dunk. Fans must not know that Lebron had already planned to dunk before he got the ball.
Kobe:
Do I have the ball?
/
/
/
No
---> Wave my hands up and down in the air until I get the ball
/
/
/
Yes
---> If I'm getting single coverage, take a shot
---> If I'm getting double teamed, take a shot
---> If I'm getting triple teamed, take a fade away shot
---> If four guys are on me, take a fade away and stick out my bottom teeth like I'm awesome. People will associate me with this face like they do with MJ's tongue.
---> If five guys are on me, maybe pass it to Gasol. Nah, take the shot just to be safe.
This Is Gold
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 4:41 am
by TruSkool
Pau Gasol-----
Do I have the ball?
I
I
I
I-------------------->YES-----cool, now im gona jab step until theres 3 seconds left to shoot and then whine to the ref about not getting the call.
I
I
I
I
I
I------------------->NO----how the hell did phil jackson win 11 rings without learning how to go inside then outside?
Tracy McGrady
Did I get the ball?
I
I
I
I
I
---------------->YES----- uh oh, this could get career ending
I
I
I
I
I
I----------------->NO---- come on!!! i have to prove myself!!!
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 5:08 am
by TheHartBreakKid
Re: Flowcharts for NBA players' minds
Posted: Mon Sep 6, 2010 5:10 am
by Roger Murdock
Isiah Thomas
Am I being employed by the New York Knicks?
.
.
.
.
.
Yes - Try to sign a player for 3 times his market value and if that doesn't work trade draft picks for someone ****. Celebrate by molesting an employee.
.
.
.
.
No - Try to kill myself by overdosing on pills and then tell the national news it wasn't me, just my daughter.