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So our dear Bill Simmons just came out of the shadows after some long years (without writing anything) and decided to do a written article.

Unfortunately, a lazy one. Here it is.

Without further ado, here is the list. Remember, this is not a player rankings, just whoever has the most value in a trade.

Honorable Mention



Dishonorable Mention



The Top 64

Group L: Quality Starters



Group K: The Upside Gang



Group J: The Ginobilis (Playoff Guys)



Group I: The Westbrooks (Regular-Season Guys)



Group H: “Sorry, He’s Worth More to Us Than to You”



Group G: “Too Young, Too Cheap, Too Good … Please Stop Calling Us”



Group F: “If You Tell Woj, I’ll Deny It to the Death … but I’m Listening”



Group E: “Lemme Save You Some Time: N-O”



Group D: True Franchise Guys



Group C: “We’re Not Trading Him (but Make Us an Offer)”



Group B: The Untouchables



Group A: Completely and Utterly Untouchable



Don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger.

Way too many groups. Not really sure why he couldn't format this a bit more differently; it's not really a list as much as it is a categorization. Also weird to have Trae Young below Mobley, Edwards, and Morant. I get that last season was disappointing and he has some holes in his game, but I just thought he'd be valued higher.

I can imagine Zion moving to D/B in the event of a healthy season. Kawhi should also be moved to Group H... no one is going to make an over-payment for him from their perspective and the Clippers will view anything that's not an over-payment as an under-payment.

Anyway, kind of a weird list. It's thought-provoking, I guess, but it's not how I'd rank 2^6 players. Also, Ayton doesn't really have a category that suits his unique predicament.

No team from the 11-30 range are trading those guys for Evan Mobley.

Hook_Em wrote:No team from the 11-30 range are trading those guys for Evan Mobley.

And the Cavs wouldn't trade Mobley straight up for any of those players either. Simmons always mentions how being higher on the list doesn't mean that player is tradable for anyone lower on the list.

The question is whether Mobley has higher trade value than the others. Given his age, contract and upside there's an argument for him being as high as he is.

Hook_Em wrote:No team from the 11-30 range are trading those guys for Evan Mobley.

Seriously, Bill went ham on the promising second year guys. Mobley, Cade, and Barnes are all promising pieces, but none of them is a slam dunk to be a multiple time all-star, and none of them has the ceiling of a Zion who could dominate the league if he can just stay healthy.

Hook_Em wrote:No team from the 11-30 range are trading those guys for Evan Mobley.

and the cavs would laugh any of those teams off the phone if they tried. mobley is definitely in that B group.

iggymcfrack wrote:

Hook_Em wrote:No team from the 11-30 range are trading those guys for Evan Mobley.

Seriously, Bill went ham on the promising second year guys. Mobley, Cade, and Barnes are all promising pieces, but none of them is a slam dunk to be a multiple time all-star, and none of them has the ceiling of a Zion who could dominate the league if he can just stay healthy.

i'm the biggest zion apologist on the board, but the fact is, Zion's health is a real issue. he has zion about right and mobley about right.

Personally I think Fred Van Vleet being 14 spots lower than Jalen Brunson while making less money and having a longer track record of contributing to winning is pretty crazy. I also would never in a million years trade Fred for Marcus Smart. But whatever, Simmons has a right to his opinion.

Bill is the best in the business. Great list

As someone else said, a player being higher on the list does not mean he thinks they are a better player.

That being said I thought the list was great.

azcatz11 wrote:Bill is the best in the business. Great list

Did you read his book? It's outstanding. Highly recommended.

The one thing I absolutely can’t abide is Luka over Jokic. If you look he really hasn’t even improved over the last 2 years and he’s still not a top 5 player in the league. Jokic is a back-to-back MVP playing it a historical level on pace to be a top 10 all-time player. You really think it’s as likely that Luka surpasses that level as that he never reaches it? I’m not buying it.

I don't listen to podcasts so once he went exclusively to podcasting he completely fell of the map for me.

1. Are his podcasts a big deal in the podcasting world?
2. Are they as lazy as this column?

I don't even know why he wrote it.

I think Houston would trade Green or Jabari, Chicago would trade Lavine, Toronto would trade Siakam (8 years older), Milwaukee would trade Jrue (12 years older!), Pelicans would trade Ingram, each for LaMelo Ball. I also don't get why Bill values Cade 15 and LaMelo 33 when LaMelo has higher scoring upside at the same size/passing ability. Because of 1 extra year on contract

sp6r=underrated wrote:I don't listen to podcasts so once he went exclusively to podcasting he completely fell of the map for me.

1. Are his podcasts a big deal in the podcasting world?
2. Are they as lazy as this column?

I don't even know why he wrote it.

he trends highly on Spotify.

iggymcfrack wrote:The own thing I absolutely can’t abide is Luka over Jokic. If you look he really hasn’t even improved over the last 2 years and he’s still not a top 5 player in the league. Jokic is a back-to-back MVP playing it a historical level on pace to be a top 10 all-time player. You really think it’s as likely that Luka surpasses that level as that he never reaches it? I’m not buying it.

jokic is a better player than luka (though it is very close). but does luka get points for being younger, perhaps?

sp6r=underrated wrote:I don't listen to podcasts so once he went exclusively to podcasting he completely fell of the map for me.

1. Are his podcasts a big deal in the podcasting world?
2. Are they as lazy as this column?

I don't even know why he wrote it.

He has the #3 sports podcast and he sold 51% of his site “The Ringer” to Spotify 3 years ago for $200MM. He’s doing pretty well for himself.

So he thinks KAT and Zion have lower trade value than Jaylen Brown and Jrue Holiday, got it.

i too think the list is very good despite not being the biggest fan in general of simmons, but the one place where i think he missed the boat was lebron. i think it would be VERY difficult for any team in the league to pry lebron away from LAL in spite of the fact he's a geezer.

i'd put him in C, D or E. for example, if the bucks were to call the lakers and offer jrue, no chance the lakers do that deal. however if the lakers were to call the bucks, the bucks make that trade in a heartbeat.

iggymcfrack wrote:The one thing I absolutely can’t abide is Luka over Jokic. If you look he really hasn’t even improved over the last 2 years and he’s still not a top 5 player in the league. Jokic is a back-to-back MVP playing it a historical level on pace to be a top 10 all-time player. You really think it’s as likely that Luka surpasses that level as that he never reaches it? I’m not buying it.

But Luka is younger and paid less right now. Luka isn't ahead because he's better.

I think Simmons underrated Lebron's value, he would push a lot of teams to championship level still. Not convinced that the Bucks wouldn't trade Jrue for Lebron straight up.

I also don't like the categories, because he can't even respect them. What is Ivey doing in the category of guys who only show up in the regular season? He's a rookie... Simmons just had to put him somewhere.

But this is an impossible exercise. No one can get it perfectly.