RealGM

JB2 wrote:Not really willing to watch an hour and half to hear about Shaq taking a dump in people shoes. Can we get some cliff notes?

We had a guy on the team my first year in Phoenix, Lou Amundson. He used to ride a bike to practice every day because he lived right across from the arena. Every time he rode his bike, Shaq would take it and hide it. Somewhere in the arena. Every day after practice, Lou was on a scavenger hunt trying to find his bike. This went on for the entire season. Finally, toward the end of the season, Lou had enough. He said, “I’m done with this. Every practice, I spend 45 minutes to an hour trying to find my damn bike.” We tried to warn him. We said, “Yo, Lou, this is Shaq. I’ve heard the stories—doodoo surprise. He used to take a **** in people’s magazines and shoes. This is Shaq you’re dealing with, bro. You might want to chill.”

So he popcorned Shaq's van, and Shaq was like "Oh okay, this is a good prank, but you don't know who the **** you messing with."

The game happened, I come in the locker room, and I see Shaq. Shaq walking around that locker room naked as nothing, real slow and tight. And he pulls a mouthpiece out his ass and puts it in a locker. He told us "Y'all better not say **** either." He takes Lou's toothbrush, he goes to take a ****, and he stirs it in his ****. We like "We ain't into this ****, this is getting out of hand."

The game happens, somehow I'm on the bench, Matt Barnes on the bench, Steve Nash on the bench, Jared Dudley's on the bench. Lou Amundson checks in the game, and he puts the mouthpiece on and everybody on the bench loses it. He comes to the locker room, he takes his mouthpiece off, and someone's like "Hey Lou, don't use your mouthpiece, Shaq put your mouthpiece in his ass." he said "Uh, no he didn't." and put it back in his mouth and goes out there. The bench loses it again.

So Lou gets subbed out the game, and he said "J-Rich, are they **** with me? What happened?" I said "Shaq took your mouthpiece and put it in his ass, bro." and he took it out and he just looked at it. Matt Barnes said to him "Anything in your locker has probably been in Shaq's ass, throw it all away."

Franco wrote:

JB2 wrote:Not really willing to watch an hour and half to hear about Shaq taking a dump in people shoes. Can we get some cliff notes?

It's time-stamped, but here:

We had a guy on the team my first year in Phoenix, Lou Amundson. He used to ride a bike to practice every day because he lived right across from the arena. Every time he rode his bike, Shaq would take it and hide it. Somewhere in the arena. Every day after practice, Lou was on a scavenger hunt trying to find his bike. This went on for the entire season. Finally, toward the end of the season, Lou had enough. He said, “I’m done with this. Every practice, I spend 45 minutes to an hour trying to find my damn bike.” We tried to warn him. We said, “Yo, Lou, this is Shaq. I’ve heard the stories—doodoo surprise. He used to take a **** in people’s magazines and shoes. This is Shaq you’re dealing with, bro. You might want to chill.”

So he popcorned Shaq's van, and Shaq was like "Oh okay, this is a good prank, but you don't know who the **** you messing with."

The game happened, I come in the locker room, and I see Shaq. Shaq walking around that locker room naked as nothing, real slow and tight. And he pulls a mouthpiece out his ass and puts it in a locker. He told us "Y'all better not say **** either." He takes Lou's toothbrush, he goes to take a ****, and he stirs it in his ****. We like "We ain't into this ****, this is getting out of hand."

The game happens, somehow I'm on the bench, Matt Barnes on the bench, Steve Nash on the bench, Jared Dudley's on the bench. Lou Amundson checks in the game, and he puts the mouthpiece on and everybody on the bench loses it. He comes to the locker room, he takes his mouthpiece off, and someone's like "Hey Lou, don't use your mouthpiece, Shaq put your mouthpiece in his ass." he said "Uh, no he didn't." and put it back in his mouth and goes out there. The bench loses it again.

So Lou gets subbed out the game, and he said "J-Rich, are they **** with me? What happened?" I said "Shaq took your mouthpiece and put it in his ass, bro." and he took it out and he just looked at it. Matt Barnes said to him "Anything in your locker has probably been in Shaq's ass, throw it all away."

Franco wrote:

JB2 wrote:Not really willing to watch an hour and half to hear about Shaq taking a dump in people shoes. Can we get some cliff notes?

It's time-stamped, but here:

We had a guy on the team my first year in Phoenix, Lou Amundson. He used to ride a bike to practice every day because he lived right across from the arena. Every time he rode his bike, Shaq would take it and hide it. Somewhere in the arena. Every day after practice, Lou was on a scavenger hunt trying to find his bike. This went on for the entire season. Finally, toward the end of the season, Lou had enough. He said, “I’m done with this. Every practice, I spend 45 minutes to an hour trying to find my damn bike.” We tried to warn him. We said, “Yo, Lou, this is Shaq. I’ve heard the stories—doodoo surprise. He used to take a **** in people’s magazines and shoes. This is Shaq you’re dealing with, bro. You might want to chill.”

So he popcorned Shaq's van, and Shaq was like "Oh okay, this is a good prank, but you don't know who the **** you messing with."

The game happened, I come in the locker room, and I see Shaq. Shaq walking around that locker room naked as nothing, real slow and tight. And he pulls a mouthpiece out his ass and puts it in a locker. He told us "Y'all better not say **** either." He takes Lou's toothbrush, he goes to take a ****, and he stirs it in his ****. We like "We ain't into this ****, this is getting out of hand."

The game happens, somehow I'm on the bench, Matt Barnes on the bench, Steve Nash on the bench, Jared Dudley's on the bench. Lou Amundson checks in the game, and he puts the mouthpiece on and everybody on the bench loses it. He comes to the locker room, he takes his mouthpiece off, and someone's like "Hey Lou, don't use your mouthpiece, Shaq put your mouthpiece in his ass." he said "Uh, no he didn't." and put it back in his mouth and goes out there. The bench loses it again.

So Lou gets subbed out the game, and he said "J-Rich, are they **** with me? What happened?" I said "Shaq took your mouthpiece and put it in his ass, bro." and he took it out and he just looked at it. Matt Barnes said to him "Anything in your locker has probably been in Shaq's ass, throw it all away."

MrGoat wrote:Not the first time I've heard a story about how awful it could be to work with Shaq in Phoenix, I remembered a story Alvin Gentry had

https://www.si.com/extra-mustard/2014/08/08/shaq-naked-wrestling-attack-phoenix-suns-teammates

"The coach said "every few days or every week or so" the big man would come barreling around a locker room corner completely nude and tackle a teammate or coaching staff member to the ground where he would roll around with them in what he called "Brazilian naked wrestling."

Gentry admitted that he was one of Shaq's many victims in this "game,""

MrGoat wrote:Not the first time I've heard a story about how awful it could be to work with Shaq in Phoenix, I remembered a story Alvin Gentry had

https://www.si.com/extra-mustard/2014/08/08/shaq-naked-wrestling-attack-phoenix-suns-teammates

"The coach said "every few days or every week or so" the big man would come barreling around a locker room corner completely nude and tackle a teammate or coaching staff member to the ground where he would roll around with them in what he called "Brazilian naked wrestling."

Gentry admitted that he was one of Shaq's many victims in this "game,""

og15 wrote:

Franco wrote:

JB2 wrote:Not really willing to watch an hour and half to hear about Shaq taking a dump in people shoes. Can we get some cliff notes?

It's time-stamped, but here:

We had a guy on the team my first year in Phoenix, Lou Amundson. He used to ride a bike to practice every day because he lived right across from the arena. Every time he rode his bike, Shaq would take it and hide it. Somewhere in the arena. Every day after practice, Lou was on a scavenger hunt trying to find his bike. This went on for the entire season. Finally, toward the end of the season, Lou had enough. He said, “I’m done with this. Every practice, I spend 45 minutes to an hour trying to find my damn bike.” We tried to warn him. We said, “Yo, Lou, this is Shaq. I’ve heard the stories—doodoo surprise. He used to take a **** in people’s magazines and shoes. This is Shaq you’re dealing with, bro. You might want to chill.”

So he popcorned Shaq's van, and Shaq was like "Oh okay, this is a good prank, but you don't know who the **** you messing with."

The game happened, I come in the locker room, and I see Shaq. Shaq walking around that locker room naked as nothing, real slow and tight. And he pulls a mouthpiece out his ass and puts it in a locker. He told us "Y'all better not say **** either." He takes Lou's toothbrush, he goes to take a ****, and he stirs it in his ****. We like "We ain't into this ****, this is getting out of hand."

The game happens, somehow I'm on the bench, Matt Barnes on the bench, Steve Nash on the bench, Jared Dudley's on the bench. Lou Amundson checks in the game, and he puts the mouthpiece on and everybody on the bench loses it. He comes to the locker room, he takes his mouthpiece off, and someone's like "Hey Lou, don't use your mouthpiece, Shaq put your mouthpiece in his ass." he said "Uh, no he didn't." and put it back in his mouth and goes out there. The bench loses it again.

So Lou gets subbed out the game, and he said "J-Rich, are they **** with me? What happened?" I said "Shaq took your mouthpiece and put it in his ass, bro." and he took it out and he just looked at it. Matt Barnes said to him "Anything in your locker has probably been in Shaq's ass, throw it all away."

This is like someone tickling you, then you hit them with a baseball bat.

MrGoat wrote:Not the first time I've heard a story about how awful it could be to work with Shaq in Phoenix, I remembered a story Alvin Gentry had

https://www.si.com/extra-mustard/2014/08/08/shaq-naked-wrestling-attack-phoenix-suns-teammates

"The coach said "every few days or every week or so" the big man would come barreling around a locker room corner completely nude and tackle a teammate or coaching staff member to the ground where he would roll around with them in what he called "Brazilian naked wrestling."

Gentry admitted that he was one of Shaq's many victims in this "game,""

Why would this even be funny? Shaq just seems like a very annoying human to work with.

UglyBugBall wrote:Jesus some of you act like toddlers. This happened over 20 years ago. Why are we projecting our current values onto things people did in the past? We do this with historical figures all the time too. He was just a young guy having fun. If this was done today that's a totally different situation but we haven't heard of anything like it aside from these old examples.

UglyBugBall wrote:Jesus some of you act like toddlers. This happened over 20 years ago. Why are we projecting our current values onto things people did in the past? We do this with historical figures all the time too. He was just a young guy having fun. If this was done today that's a totally different situation but we haven't heard of anything like it aside from these old examples.

Onlytimewilltel wrote:

UglyBugBall wrote:Jesus some of you act like toddlers. This happened over 20 years ago. Why are we projecting our current values onto things people did in the past? We do this with historical figures all the time too. He was just a young guy having fun. If this was done today that's a totally different situation but we haven't heard of anything like it aside from these old examples.

Exactly 100% this was all in good fun. I also remember when I was pissing in your moms anus and mouth 20 years ago and it was totally understood that I was just a young dude having fun, glad you were so cool with it also broski, good looking out. Anyway yeah today's generation definitely soft bro..

UglyBugBall wrote:Jesus some of you act like toddlers. This happened over 20 years ago. Why are we projecting our current values onto things people did in the past? We do this with historical figures all the time too. He was just a young guy having fun. If this was done today that's a totally different situation but we haven't heard of anything like it aside from these old examples.

Onlytimewilltel wrote:

UglyBugBall wrote:Jesus some of you act like toddlers. This happened over 20 years ago. Why are we projecting our current values onto things people did in the past? We do this with historical figures all the time too. He was just a young guy having fun. If this was done today that's a totally different situation but we haven't heard of anything like it aside from these old examples.

Exactly 100% this was all in good fun. I also remember when I was pissing in your moms anus and mouth 20 years ago and it was totally understood that I was just a young dude having fun, glad you were so cool with it also broski, good looking out. Anyway yeah today's generation definitely soft bro..