RealGM

What the heck does this mean?

Lee did not deny his agent Mark Bartlestein before the draft advised Memphis not to trade for him because Lee would never sign a long-term contract with the Grizzlies.

-_-

Someone put commas in so I understand. I need to go back to college. Ugh

Speedlot wrote:What the heck does this mean?

Lee did not deny his agent Mark Bartlestein before the draft advised Memphis not to trade for him because Lee would never sign a long-term contract with the Grizzlies.

-_-

Someone put commas in so I understand. I need to go back to college. Ugh

I'm no English major, but that sentence looks correct to me.

How about this:

Lee did not deny the allegation that before the draft, his agent Mark Bartlestein advised Memphis not to trade for Lee, since Lee would not sign a long term contract with them.

The editor needs to be shot.

cucad8 wrote:How about this:

Lee did not deny the allegation that before the draft, his agent Mark Bartlestein advised Memphis not to trade for Lee, since Lee would not sign a long term contract with them.

FTW!

That first sentence is horrid.

That is a really, really bad sentence. I can't see how that passed by the editor unnoticed. He didn't stop 6 times to read it? Didn't think everyone else would have to?

Looks sound enough to me. Only could of put commas around before the draft and maybe change him to Lee.

updated version.

"Lee did not deny his agent Mark Bartlestein, before the draft, advised Memphis not to trade for Lee because Lee would never sign a long-term contract with the Grizzlies."

The only reason the first version of the sentence would end up confusing is if people are not familar with teh agent-client relationship where the agent acts for the client. If that isn't clear someone might think that the agent advised Memphis to not trade for him rather then Lee!

Um no, It's a bad sentence. Not bad enough to misunderstand the meaning, but pretty bad.

All you need to do is add 'that' after 'deny' and it's much clearer.

It's still a bad sentence.

Speedlot wrote:What the heck does this mean?

Lee did not deny his agent Mark Bartlestein before the draft advised Memphis not to trade for him because Lee would never sign a long-term contract with the Grizzlies.

-_-

Someone put commas in so I understand. I need to go back to college. Ugh

So MANY things wrong with this sentence.

Lee did not deny THAT his agent Mark Bartelstein, before the draft, advised Memphis not to trade for him because HE would never sign a long-term contract with the Grizzlies.

The sentence makes it seem like the draft itself advised Memphis. Since the NBA draft is not a living, breathing thing, I find it hard for it to advise anybody on anything.

Lee did not deny that his agent, Mark Bartlestein, advised Memphis before the draft to not trade for him because Lee would never sign a long-term contract with the Grizzlies.

cucad8 wrote:How about this:

Lee did not deny the allegation that before the draft, his agent Mark Bartlestein advised Memphis not to trade for Lee, since Lee would not sign a long term contract with them.

A lot better, but you need to add another comma before "before the draft," since it's an aside:

"Lee did not deny the allegation that, before the draft, his agent Mark Bartlestein advised Memphis not to trade for Lee, since Lee would not sign a long term contract with them."

The original sentence is just atrocious, btw. What site/publication printed that? You can rework that sentence in many different ways to mak it read better.

All the writer had to do was say, " Lee didn't deny the allegations " the sentence wasn't written clearly.
They ask that type of stuff on police exams. With the way it was written I can see some missing that one if it was on the test.

Some of the people posting in this thread have no right calling out others for poor sentence structure.

Wow, that is god awful.

mankind2706 wrote:Some of the people posting in this thread have no right calling out others for poor sentence structure.

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