Post#1342 » by milesfides » Thu Jul 24, 2008 4:40 am
It isn't easy, this whole thing.
Now there are definitely people who have attitude problems, but they're not breaking any specific rules. I struggle with this, and it's still difficult, despite being a mod, giving these people the room to be jerks. But it's a reflection of the real world: people who speed up to prevent you from changing lanes, cutting in line, talking loudly on the cell phone inappropriately, etc. Rude, but what can you do? Our better sense tells us to ignore them, but it's human nature to want to regulate, just like in real life (give the guy in the next lane the finger, telling the jerk to get behind the line, telling the inconsiderate cell phone man to shut the hell up). But responding in kind degrades the soul.
Another problem is the difference in sports fans. Some are casual fans. Some are diehard fans. People are in between. Some people log on every hour, sometimes once a month. Every now and then, some infrequent poster would post a trade scenario, and a veteran poster would completely crap on it. "That trade would never work you are an idiot" kind of response. Which is true, but hella discouraging if you're a newcomer - or maybe it's just a young fan.
But who's at fault? Ignorance or intolerance?
I think it's important to give space. In a word, respect, not only for the positive, but also the negative. I'm not talking objectively, but subjectively. I'm learning (albeit slowly) to give people the benefit of the doubt for the sake of civility and sanity. You can't make the world conform to what you think is right. You can't make people behave the way you think they should behave. You have to accept the world for what it is, or it will crush you.
It can also be frustrating due to the nature of an internet forum. The benefits of being a mod with a PM is that you get feedback that you've never gotten before. It's much easier to understand that you're not on an island. Many people read what you write, they'll agree, but never respond. So sometimes you feel you're on an island.
But you've got to let your own words stand on their own merit, no matter how great the desire to get in the last word. This is personally tough for me, since I feel like I make the effort to back things up, provide evidence, do the research and present a convincing argument. But the other side might not play by the same rules, or maybe I think they're not using sound logic.
But at the end of the day, I'm the worse perpetrator in trying to win an argument. I want people to agree with me, to see the light as I see it. It's pretty arrogant, but the reality is, nobody wants to admit they're wrong. Better to simply state your piece, as clearly as you can, and let it stand for what it is. I'm very far from this, but hopefully I have the discipline to be able to do it someday.
I've just realized this is a rambling post, and perhaps some of this is inappropriate to talk about as a mod, but hopefully some of the things I say can resonate with others.
It's a complicating thing, a forum, with so many people, about something that is so complex as sports fandom. Fan is derived from fanatic, and it's crazy that we even try to hold logical discussions here. But one thing I realized about realgm, fandom means different things to a lot of different people. And sometimes you just have to step back and let haters be haters, ignorant folk be ignorant folk, wise asses be wise asses, etc.
I think realgm is one of the best forums out there, and it's evolving towards a better place. At least we're trying to make that happen. Maybe one day, people can be civil all across all boards, and moderation will be standardized, and it'll be awesome. Organizing the chaos, taming the best. Good natured competition without malice.
But until that day, we have to just try to take care of our home, our little plot of land, our mother ship.
“OH! Caruso parachutes in! You cannot stop him - you can only hope to contain him!” -Kevin Harlan, LAL-GSW 4/4/19